Dealing with a Toxic Boss: Strategies to Handle Lying, Intimidation, and Mistreatment

One of the biggest challenges of working life is dealing with a toxic boss. A toxic boss can be someone who lies to employees, uses intimidation tactics, and denies ever mistreating workers. Such a negative work environment can be not only toxic but can have severe consequences on employees' mental and physical health, job satisfaction, and performance. In this blog post, we will discuss some strategies that can help you deal with a toxic boss. 

Document Everything

A toxic boss often denies any misconduct or mistreatment, making it crucial to document every incident. Maintain a record of any lying, intimidation tactics, or misuse of authority. This documentation can be used later as evidence to support your claims.

Keep Your Emotions in Check

Interacting with a toxic boss can be frustrating and emotionally draining. While it is essential to acknowledge your emotions, it is equally important to keep them in check. Avoid confrontational behavior and stay professional. You don't want your behavior to make it easier for your boss to justify their mistreatment of you.

Build a Support Network

Toxic bosses can make you doubt yourself and your work. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people inside and outside of work and nurture a mentorship relationship with colleagues you trust. This network can provide you with a supportive ear, sound advice, and guidance.

Speak Up

One of the most challenging things to do in a toxic work environment is to speak up. However, it is crucial to report any mistreatment to upper management and HR as they have the power to take appropriate action. Doing nothing will only normalize the toxic work environment and ultimately harm your mental and physical health.

Start Looking for a New Job

If the toxic boss continues to make your work-life unbearable, it might be time to start looking for another job. Remember, a toxic work environment can have long-term consequences on your health and wellbeing. Don't let a toxic boss undermine your confidence and your career.

Dealing with a toxic boss can be exhausting and painful. However, through documenting everything, keeping your emotions in check, building a support network, speaking up, and potentially seeking a new job, you can gain control of the situation. Remember, your mental and emotional well-being should come first, and a toxic boss is never worth compromising your health.

Learn more about working for toxic managers here on this blog.

12 Bad Habits Complacent Employees Do at Work

They are complacent employees, they have reached a time in their careers where they believe they are untouchable.  They still perform well at their jobs (when they feel like it) and they still believe that one day they will be promoted despite all the things that they do below.  During times like these with many business owners looking to recoup profit losses, this is not the time to be the complacent, nonchalant and self-entitled employee no matter how much tenure you have with a company!  

These "mistakes" or "I forgot" or "I wasn't aware..." excuses have been the culprits in getting some employees prematurely laid off (with the hopes to one day get rid of them altogether), suspended from their jobs, demoted, or worse terminated.

1)  A pattern of showing up late to work and leaving early.  After all these years of getting away with this behavior with old managers, new management decides to carefully watch the time-honored employee who is guilty, and so the write-ups start building up.

2) Missing important deadlines whether a pattern or not.  Whatever the excuse for missing a deadline, the point is the so-called established employee is cherry picking when he or she feels the need to work or not "I didn't think I had to do that...I didn't think it needed to be done so soon."  Evidently this employee doesn't want to be promoted.

3) Missing meetings.  Once again, the time-honored employee who believes that he or she can never be replaced and doesn't think that certain things are important, also doesn't think that having to attend every meeting is necessary.  Why wonder why employees like this, regardless of tenure, are passed over?

4) Refusal to take company classes.  They are boring and a waste of time to the long-standing employee, but necessary.  Chances are there is something new being discussed and that employee who thinks he or she knows it all will be bothering his or her coworkers for answers.  Why get angry when they don't want to help?

5) Workplace harassment (sexual and bullying).  After all the media hype about harassment, yet an employee still thinks it is okay to flirt with a coworker while bullying another with insulting remarks.  Can someone please call human resources?

6)  Discriminating behaviors.  The deep-rooted leader sitting cushy in the corner office, huh?  What's with the eye rolls and deep sighs when "those people" come around?  Why does an employee consistently hire people who don't look anything like he or she while there are plenty of resumes that aren't even viewed because "I think that name is black...that name is definitely middle eastern...I know how those people are...U.S. and China aren't getting along so let's just pass on this one."  Again, can someone please make some phone calls, we have racist on site?

7)  Lying.  The complacent workers recruit new employees to lie.  "I just say this...Don't tell the manager that...If she asks about...tell her this..."  Long-standing employees sure know how to lie and when caught they are "never aware, don't recall, can't ever remember saying that."  Enough already! Let's just start building that case to get rid of them!  There are plenty of other companies that welcome liars.

8) Stealing or so-called "borrowing."  Interesting how things go missing and then are suddenly returned when questioned, then go missing again and are never returned.  The seemingly stable employee still has something at home from like five years ago and another long-standing employee knows all about it (chances are he or she used it to) and never says one word.  Write them both up or better yet can we just call this company theft and start the process of getting them out!

9) Bring family and/or pets to work.  What's with this?  The workplace isn't a family reunion and there sure isn't any babysitters at work.  Stop with the "emotional support" case.  Funny, how all this happens when now it is inconvenient for everyone to stay home.  Start looking for a new job, because coworkers are only going to deal with so much concerning an employees' crying child and barking dog--either they get to work from home or not!  How long they have been with the company is not an excuse to keep allowing children and pets to come to work adding to an already stressed atmosphere.

10)  Staying on personal phone calls for long periods of time.  Established employees feel quite comfortable doing this because they have gotten away with it for so long.  Meanwhile, coworkers are answering phones, running around offices, helping visitors at the door, and doing other things while the veteran employee continues to talk and talk and talk.  Then after the phone call, this employee wants to share.  Well this kind of sharing is not caring to most employees, stop accepting these unimportant phone calls during business hours!  Is anyone noticing that the employee is stealing company time to do his or her nonemergency personal business?  Hmm.  I smell a write-up.

11)  Using company equipment to visit websites for personal pleasure.  The use of this equipment was never meant for employees to have fun doing what they want when they want and how they want it, but veteran employees feel like they are entitled because "well I use my personal phone to take photos for the company and I receive texts from management on my phone...so I can use their computer, copier...whatever to do what I want.  No one cares."  Are you sure about that?  Someone is keeping track of how much shopping for company supplies is happening each month.  Looks like it's time to check company credit cards, phone bills, office supplies and the like.  There's a veteran employee guilty as charged.

12)  Favoring employees who one has a friendship with while criticizing others. This behavior is key in creating division between workers.  It is obvious that the personal friendships that the complacent employees have with their favorites is getting in the way of making important business decisions.  Those that aren't favorited are reprimanded formally, but friends are rarely talked to.  Can we find another department for this employee or an exit out the door?  If there is racial, gender, or sexual discrimination involved well there is another case to build against the complacent employee.

So if you aren't one who is guilty of the above, no worries.  However, if you are, it is never too late to change.  Do it before all this catches up to you sooner rather than later.

Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and author of many nonfiction books.

Lying Prophets at the Workplace

What's Wrong with the Job? 12 Possible Reasons Why Employees Leave

There are those reasons employees don't mind sharing with others as to why they don't work for a certain company any longer, but then there are those work observations they would never discuss because they wouldn't want to burn any bridges.  Human Resources may know, but then again maybe not especially if some staff are too chummy with managers and supervisors or at fault.

So the following are some straightforward reasons why some workers leave that can be uncovered either before you take on a position, while you are working there or after you start a new job working elsewhere.  Notice the cost savings and the headaches you no longer will have if you suggest some practical workplace changes.

1)  It was boring working there.

What exactly are one's duties and when put into practice is there really enough work to hire someone for eight hours a day for five days a week?

2)  Managers, assistants and other workers were divisive.

Notice how frequent the staff fraternize.  Do they realize that their socializing is costing the company time, money and quality of work?  Further, this kind of atmosphere often causes tension.  Is it really necessary to visit a manager's office more times than one goes to the bathroom?  All the talk definitely isn't about work.

3)  People are lying to protect their jobs.

Some of the selfish, vindictive, veteran employees are also the most harmful!  They have protected their jobs for so long with their secrets, lies, denials, and cover-ups that no wonder why new employees never seem to stay.  Notice a pattern with a veteran employee who often points out the mistakes of others, doesn't bother to train effectively, and always has excuses as to why something wasn't done accurately.

4)  Management couldn't care less about the issues that were raised.

Time and time again employees point out challenges and provide solutions and nothing seems to get done.  No wonder why there is a high turn-over!

5)  Co-workers had unchecked personality disorders that impacted business.

"That's just how he/she is..." says the supervisor excusing yet another offensive comment by a trouble-making employee.  Not good enough!  Why aren't write-ups fully enforced?  When a disorder is increasingly causing problems in the workplace either an employee gets help or is terminated.

6)  Substance abuse ongoing with a staff member.

Often taking breaks, lying about one's whereabouts, the odd smell on clothing, glassy or blood-shot eyes, hmm, someone has a major problem.  When the addict makes repeated errors, nothing is done.  Say goodbye to another observant worker who has had enough of the excuses as to why work is incomplete or not done.

7)  Flirtatious managers and/or supervisors.

You would think with all the sexual harassment policies in place one wouldn't even attempt to cross the line, yet he or she does.  Rather than raise the matter up with upper management and possibly face backlash, one attractive employee after another leave.  Does anyone ever notice anything?

8)  People stole and then covered things up.

Before one is thrown under the bus, he or she is out of there!  No one wants to work among thieves and liars if they have good sense.  Employees like this are always saying, "I'm just borrowing it." Sure.  "You didn't see that...Those numbers are correct."  Yeah right!  

9)  Management and/or supervisors were unreachable at crucial times during business hours.

So grateful to have help, yet far too eager to put one's phone on vibrate or off.  Now what is the new employee supposed to do?  You guessed it, figure things out rather right or wrong.  That split decision-making gets old over time.  Employees surely burn out too!

10)  Owners didn't bother to spend money to fix recurring problems.

There are ways to get things done, but you won't like them.  The employee is going to take matters in his or her own hands especially when management is ignoring phone calls.  He or she is going to walk just when you need him or her the most.  Making excuses and telling lies to customers' gets old.  Fix the problem!

11)  Worked far too many hours while the company was slow to hire new employees.

So the company wants to see how much work can be done with as few hands as possible.  Great cost-savings move; however, sooner or later expect your best workers to start looking elsewhere for more pay with less responsibilities.

12)  When customers' issues arose, management often took their side even when they were in the wrong.

What happened to team work makes the dream work?  Not only are staff being cut, but now customers are always right too?  Don't be surprised to see an employee's resume saved on the desktop.  Some customers have their share of hidden agendas and they sure aren't in the best interest of the company.  Listen to your employees with an open mind; rather than a mind ready to go on attack!

Recognize any of these things occurring in your establishment, you know what to do, be proactive before your good workers walk!

Nicholl McGuire manages this blog and many others.  The wife and mother of four sons is an nonfiction author and inspirational speaker.  She also works offline providing administrative support.

Lying Co-Workers: Denials and Cover-ups

You know you have family members who you just can't be around you for long because they are liars, but sometimes co-workers can be just like that too!  From lying about who stole lunches out of the breakroom fridge to personal purchases using the corporate credit card, these lying co-workers do nothing more than cause unnecessary tension at the workplace and eventually cause good workers to look for employment elsewhere!  If you suspect you are being lied to by a co-worker or many co-workers, here's what you do.

Document and gather evidence.

Before you can make an accusation, you must have evidence and proof that the liar is guilty.  The day the act happened, time and date, video image(s), conversation with or between others about questionable acts, witnesses who saw the act, financial statements that show someone lied, days the guilty employee was supposedly working, personal days off while participating in act impacting the company, etc.  No amount of complaining to Human Resources, managers or supervisors will do much if you have nothing.  However, keep in mind they too might deny, lie and cover-up when they are friendly with the lying coworkers.  So document what they told you as well like a refusal to believe that what was said was true.

Confront the liars with witnesses present.

You don't act like a lawyer in the courtroom when confronting them but rather you simply ask, "What happened to the lunches that were in the fridge last week?  Where are the receipts of those purchases you made using the corporate card?  Now where might I find those items?"  Liars deny everything, so what you will do next is either share what you know with management or if you are in a leadership role hold a meeting and present evidence.  The witnesses, some who might even be a bit bias, will have nothing to do but just stand there.  Busted!

Note the consequences.

Was there any action taken for rule-breaking?  If not, note your observation and keep it handy for when business owners, presidents, or other significant leaders come to town.  You can also send information along with attachments via email prior to their arrival or simply make a phone call.

Plan your future.

When you have observed that management has no intent to investigate a matter, handle a situation, or rather lie too, cover-up, or deny something had occurred, then you escalate the matter.  If nothing is being addressed from top leaders, start looking for another place to work. Chances are there is a nest of more corrupt things going on you have yet to uncover.  No job is worth putting your good name, health or freedom in jeopardy!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of What Else Can I Do on the Internet? and other books.

5 Signs You Won't Last Long with an Organization/Company

One's attitude will dictate whether he or she will be a success at any organization or company.  If a worker feels hidden animosity toward others, has unchecked resentment or bitter feelings, or overall hates many things about his or her job, it is only a matter of time that the individual will either quit employment or be let go.  Obvious signs a worker will not last a long time with a company include:

1.  The person often talks negatively about the leadership.
2.  (If in management) He or she doesn't listen nor does the individual address staff concerns.
3.  He or she finds his or her self lying or exaggerating about what they do or don't do at work to leadership and staff.
4.  The worker is frequently worried, stressed, or easily aggravated every time someone interrupts his or her work or has to deal with the public.
5.  The person hates his or her commute to work and back home again so much in fact that he or she often leaves early or stays late at work and doesn't like doing that as well.

If most of these signs apply to you, you may want to start looking for new employment.  It is better to start your job search now before you are forced to do it.

Nicholl McGuire also records spiritual audio/video, check out her latest work at YouTube channel: nmenterprise7
 

Unethical Worker Using Flattery to Hide Deception

He tells you, "Good morning..." he is often happy and doesn't appear to have a care in the world.  Yet, you feel something is a bit off about this person.  The friendly smile doesn't really seem what it appears to be.  You watch him for awhile.  A good worker, team player, and gets along well with others, but still something isn't right.

You may have someone like this at your workplace, someone who seems to be the life of the party, so to speak.  But in time you may have learned why he or she is so over-the-top with his or her pleasantries and appears to work harder than most, this worker just might have some dirty company business to hide.

I watched one of the most ignorant, yet one of the brilliant of the bunch use his flattery to distract fellow workers from his deceitful actions.  "Hello...how are you...what's new...I just needed to use this..." while he had a goody bag of company things he had helped himself to.  I was left feeling shocked, angered, and confused.  How could someone so nice, be so dirty?  He had learned from the best--pimps, players and hustlers.  People who spent days lying, stealing, and cheating to earn street credentials and obtain wealth.  The "nice" guy had participated in undercover foolishness for so long at his workplace, while winning the trust from so many, that when he was exposed, some refused to believe the truth about this manipulator.

When the smile wasn't showing, cold eyes revealed a cold heart from the sneaky worker that didn't care much about others or the company's reputation.  He was in business for himself.  When approached about his wrong-doing, the typically cool, calm and collected guy was visibly nervous, talking fast, and willing to make bargains even if they were unethical with management.  He sweet talked his way with select leadership and knew how to sell his skills and those that loved him by name-dropping.  Individuals that mixed business with friendship looked the other way and worked to protect him while others just looked on in disbelief.  Powerful figures didn't want to get their hands dirty when the news reached their ears.  Therefore, they sent a select few to "investigate," "interview" and watch, but the man with the smile had connections higher than they.

Things to think about when dealing with a deceitful worker:

1.  He or she most likely has been getting away with unethical acts for some time.  If this is the case, the worker might be quite comfortable in his or her mischief.  Begin to build a case against this person and make copies of all information you collect.  Chances are that someone, who really likes the person, just might destory evidence.  Note dates, times and offenses.  Set up hidden cameras and other useful things to help when it is time to confront the individual.

2.  Know who his or her favorite people are and start befriending them.  They just might slip up and say some things about the deceitful worker's conduct one day especially if this person has angered him or her.

3.  If you are in leadership, hire someone or get a volunteer (who is not a relative or friend of the deceiver) to report to you about the latest happenings with the unethical worker.

4.  Don't encourage negative behavior by joking with this person, participating in, lying, or covering up his or her deceit.  Avoid the temptation to argue about facts with this person.

5.  Don't share findings with people you know who are friendly with this person.

6.  Don't allow personal feelings toward the deceptive employee get in the way of doing your job.  "It's nothing personal, it's just business." so the old adage goes.

Once deceitful workers are found out yet nothing is done, it is only a matter of time that they will bring themselves and others down with them.

Nicholl McGuire       

What Every Manager/Business Owner/Employee Can Learn from Disgruntled Ex-Cop

A mean-spirited man hell-bent on killing people decides that he is going to pay back those who failed him at his place of employment.  We saw the movies, read the news, had our own personal concerns on the job, and heard some angry relatives and friends complain about a boss, employee, contractor, or someone else wronging them at their workplaces.  But rarely does anyone really think too much about the prideful statements, hateful comments and even threats one makes about workers at the job.

Some people are very good about hiding their personal opinion when it comes to a certain ethnicity, gender, and workplace issue they don't agree with.  But others, not so much.  As a result, workplace operations is disrupted over some workers having no self-control over their tongues.  What's worse, there are leaders all across America who don't mind deviating from policies, manuals, and other company related material, not to better the collective, but to suit one's selfish ideas, desires, and those who they might favor.  Meanwhile the good employee, who plays by the book, will either quietly or boldly react while an unfair, negative, demeaning, or evil scenario plays out that may or may not directly affect him or her, but in their minds they constantly think, "Something must be done!"

Now let us take a look at this former law enforcement officer, Christopher Jordan Dorner, for a moment.  (His manifesto is attached to his name).  Someone who seemed to have a great career, intelligent, and loved his country at one time, which is inferred from his manifesto, yet an enraged man who wanted nothing more than to take revenge on those who failed him.  But why not handle matters professionally assuming that he did kill the couple and write the manifesto?  (He hasn't been tried yet at the time of this writing.)

According to Dorner's manifesto,  "I have exhausted all available means at obtaining my name back. I have attempted all legal court efforts within appeals at the Superior Courts and California Appellate courts. This is my last resort. The LAPD has suppressed the truth and it has now lead to deadly consequences. The LAPD’s actions have cost me my law enforcement career that began on 2/7/05 and ended on 1/2/09. They cost me my Naval career which started on 4/02 and ends on 2/13."
 
The system had failed him in his opinion.  Here was a man who drove himself mad trying to play by the book.  There are many examples in the manifesto where he was that tattle-tale or whistleblower, so to speak.  So when management didn't follow protocol, Dorner took matters in his own hands!

My question to you is, do you have a fellow co-worker, employee, counselor, client, supervisor, or assistant who plays by the book that you might have let down?  Are you the worker that might feel slighted by management?  Think on this for awhile.  Because chances are, there is something on the inside of you or someone you know that is festering.  Some of those negative emotions may be playing themselves out in the following: under performance (like work not getting done in a timely fashion), so-called jokes made about you or others, frequent tardiness, fake illnesses, failure to get along with fellow workers, stealing, lying, and more.

Many companies have a variety of awareness programs, but what about having one that teaches employees how to recognize a disgruntled employee?  A good worker, who simply feels angered about things like:  his complaint being overlooked, unappreciated, or not properly dealt with, according to the company's protocol, might not be a future problem for you and your group if management follows-up, investigates matters, follows policies, or adds better ones, and stays out of the "the club" or "clique." 

You may have your favorites and may have taken an oath with a certain organization, but doesn't integrity and fairness mean anything?  Your Right Hand Man may one day be your foe, because he or she notices that you don't play by the rules unless it suits you, then what?  In the case of Dorner, he called people out and yet they still didn't listen even with proof.   

Working to achieve a common goal is different from looking the other way when a worker is doing wrong.  If you are that team player, meaning helping make the company a success not covering up misdeeds, yet the group decides that they want to do some things that undermine the community that they serve while deceiving management, it is your responsibility to report what you observe to the necessary authorities.  Dorner listed many people in his writing that simply lacked standards, didn't want to address issues, etc.  Management shouldn't treat their good workers like snitches while making others think they are bad for business for wanting to do right.   

There are those workers who believe that being a team player means one is nothing more than a snitch, a tattle-tail, big mouth, and other words not so nice.  Like a child who repeatedly tells a parent about a sibling hitting them, the worker wants justice!

So after reading the Dorner's manifesto, you might want to think about the following points for your establishment when teaching/advising/reprimanding:

One.  When information is released by a company about what changes have been made, and you don't see any changes or they are no benefit to workers, you make mention in writing.  You talk to others to get their feedback.  If they simply aren't willing to work with you, you don't keep giving them your service, you look for another job.  If you don't deal with the issue that keeps showing up, feelings of resentment, bitterness, rage, and more will start to take root.  Before long, all you will keep thinking about in your mind is how much you hate this person and how you want to pay this one and that one back as well as what else can you do to make these people see the light.  Save your energy for a company who will listen! 

Two.  You may find that someone is purposely spreading incorrect information about you.  They may go so far as to make your office space uncomfortable with all his or her bad-mouthing.  As soon as you hear something negative that has your name in it, share your concern with Human Resources or others you know can help you.  Tell your confidante or advisor your plans to confront this person and if you don't trust him or her, be near witnesses, speak over the phone, or behind closed doors, but record the exchange.  Always have a paper trail with dates and times.  The sooner you address the "He say, She say," the better!  Request an apology or something in writing from those who can clear your name.

Three.  If you know of certain individuals who tend to eat lunch all the time, are related to one another, or seem to be connected due to fraternal connections, it is best to mention these affiliations in any report you file.  This will prove that individuals will lie, cover up or do anything else to support one another because many of these group members swear by oaths to protect secrets and more.  Be sure you are not a part of the club.  This means no lunch dates, attending events, etc.  Otherwise, your socializing with the group might be used against you later.  You may be labeled as the disgruntled one who got kicked out the club.

Four.  Those who use offensive remarks about others that are racial, sexist and more should be reported, but one should not threaten or physically fight the offenders.  When you do, you set yourself up for a future dismissal and you will also create enemies for all the wrong reasons.  Find out what does company policy say about offensive statements, hand gestures, etc.

Five.  Trouble-makers on the job usually have an extensive history.  Do your research to find out why certain people continue to stay.  Don't bring up concerns to those who favor these individuals.  Think of ways to bring attention to the matter within the group.  If you have to be anonymous, then do so.  However, don't prepare your concern at the workplace, go elsewhere to do it and don't save what you wrote on a personal computer.  If you are mailing correspondence, go outside of where you live to do it.  Avoid handwriting envelopes and letters.  Use paper that can't be tracked back to you.  Mail outside of the post office (off the property).  If you are very concerned, be sure your fingerprints are not on paper, postage, envelope, and other places.  If your identity being found out is a non-issue, then send email with time and date stamp and cc. all those who need to know about your concerns. 

Six.   Notice who the angry workers are in your organization.  They are typically easily irritated, often do not smile, curse, or throw things.  They disrespect others and are not able to work in groups.  Then there are those who are good actors who will smile for certain individuals and not others.  When you hear repeated complaints about these angry individuals, do something about them when in your power such as: meet with them and ask about their issues and provide tips, send them written correspondence and offer assistance, seek your boss for advice, report to H.R. and be knowledgeable of your rights and company policies.  Direct these ticking time bombs to necessary help within your company or outside of it.  Offer days off when possible.  Remember, note your findings because you might be called as a character witness one day.  Always follow-up!  Schedule a future appointment with the angry employee during the meeting, and try not to cancel.

Seven.  You or someone you know might come to a point that a worker/manager can't do anything else to rectify a matter.  The dissatisfied employee may or may not be visibly upset.  When you know you can't do anything else to get your issue resolved, don't badger anyone and avoid complaining; rather, make up in your mind either you will accept things how they are or move on.  Maybe things might change because of your long history of fighting the good fight, but then maybe not. 

Don't drive yourself crazy trying to get some justice for your issue or someone else's!  Be sure to have a network of supportive individuals who can counsel/pray/assist you when you are down.  Surrounding yourself with useless, unwise advisers and so-called helpful mentors who have proven that their good tips have run out, will not help you to be the most effective on the job.  In time, your issues at work will surface on the home front and when this happens you will definitely hate your job and everyone who works there. 

Stop the rage about someone or something early on, by taking appropriate action,  do things like: consult with others to see what they have done in a similar situation, take days off to think, find positive ways to express yourself, and above everything else when no one seems to understand or will listen, start putting those resumes out! 

Don't waste your life staying with a company or working in a department that doesn't help you when you are down!  Life is simply too short!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books available on Amazon.com

10 Signs it Might Be Time to Move On from a Job

Lately work has been something like a bad relationship, you are putting up with foolishness because you just aren't ready to leave.  At times you convince yourself that everything is "Okay" and "Alright" when it isn't.  But why put yourself through all this worry and stress?  Maybe you do need to leave.  However, before you do anything drastic, pay closer attention to the signs and then do something about your woes.

One.  Leadership frequently fails to keep their promises while leaving it up to you to dig them out of their messes.

Two.  You no longer feel that your spiritual faith can sustain you each day you show up at your workplace.

Three. Your boss and co-workers keep finding faults with you even when what you do isn't worth mentioning.

Four.  Your spouse or best friend keep telling you to quit your job because he or she sees how bad it is affecting you personally.

Five.  You find yourself lying about little things just to hide your true feelings about your job.

Six.   The money received from your work is no longer helping you meet financial goals.

Seven.  Hateful feelings concerning your job are festering within you and you are gradually ruining your relationship with others as a result.

Eight.  You are beginning to come to work late and are often taking days off.

Nine.  You worry about getting fired for things you know you shouldn't be doing or saying at work.

Ten.  You no longer like to commute from your home to your job and complain often about how far away you live.

If the majority of these signs describe your situation, it's time to make a serious effort to rid yourself from this emotionally and physically binding job.

To your peace and a sound mind!

Nicholl McGuire blogs periodically on Apartment Leasing Tips blog.

No Accountability: Employees Who Love Getting Out of Things

Whether it is an unecessary argument or a major event that ends badly, there are just some workers who don't want to take responsibility for anything.  They will do any number of things to justify why they can't do something, won't do something, or why it is someone else's fault/job/issue, etc.  Some of you reading this probably are thinking of a few employees who should have been gone with the wind like yesterday.  So how do we expose, correct, and if need be, send these people on their "It's never my fault" ways?

1.  Track the lying.  Whether boss, supervisor, co-worker, or friend, note the lies and excuses made whenever you confront this person.  There are those lies that cover up the fact that one was aware of a situation, but didn't do anything about it.  Then there are those lies that have a little truth mixed in them.  Of course, we can list many more lies that are specifically created to do just one thing, cover one's you know what!  Keeping an  accurate record with date and times included of all the story-telling will help you build a case against the troubled worker in case you are ever called into a meeting about him or her.

2.  Provide proof.  When one doesn't want to face the truth, he or she is going to call your bluff.  Have the evidence to back up your claim.  For instance, the worker said that the project would be done on XYZ date and time.  Did you bother to get this person to document his or her promise?  The trouble-making employee keeps coming to you with what someone else is or isn't doing, can this person back up her statements?  You notice that a worker's job performance is going down hill steadily, what is the evidence that shows this?

3.  Record meetings, conference calls, etc.  From witnesses to recording devices, you will need anyone or anything to help you hold people accountable who historically wiggle their way out of things.  Be sure to have attendees (as well as those who couldn't make meetings) sign a sheet that confirms they read notes or was present when tasks were communicated.

4.  Enlist others to help hold others accountable.  Tardiness, blame games, and other things that workers do to disrupt work flow can be hard to keep up with.  So when you are in a power position, use your skills to stay one step ahead of the slackers by using a couple of your most loyal assistants to help.  Tell them what you are looking for and explain to them how the problematic worker is causing challenges for the whole team.  Reward those who aid you.  However, if your help seems to be siding with the trouble-makers, be sure to confront this person.

5.  Note excuses and rejections.  Whenever the employee is called upon to handle business affairs, but appears like he or she can't/won't  then advise this person why it is important for he or she to participate.  Be sure that the job description and what you are asking is not in conflict.  Also, keep note of the reasons as to why the employee has repeatedly rejected your work requests.  When the next review period comes along, bring up your findings and why he or she is ineligible for a promotion or some other incentive.

6.  Discuss and record errors.  One of the mistakes leadership makes when dealing with employees is to rarely address errors.  It isn't until major issues come up that one wants to threaten a worker with job dismissal.  Don't wait until problems repeatedly show up.  Instead, as soon as one brings an issue up with a worker, investigate.  Periodically use other employees to check over one's work.  See to it that everyone is on the same page, reading from the same manuals/memos/emails, and have a clear understanding as to what is expected when it comes to completing a task.  If no one is addressing issues, then a worker will take advantage of your oversight and start pointing the finger at everyone else while saying things like, "I didn't know...no one never told me...I didn't know we were supposed to do it that way."

With so many unemployed workers in this world who desperately want to work, there is no reason why a boss/supervisor/manager should be stressing his or her self out over workers who don't want to be held accountable for their actions.  Start building cases against those who are trouble-makers.  From leadership to contractors, note what the issues are, supply proof, list solutions, and confront those who never want to be held accountable for anything.

Nicholl McGuire

How to Know You Are Being Discriminated Against

You may have noticed someone acting unfairly toward you whether blatantly or inadvertently and dismissed it in the past, but it keeps happening and you want to know whether they are discriminating against you. The following signs will help you discover whether a person doesn’t like you, but you will need more than one happening on a consistent basis to be able to determine whether a person is discriminating against you. So what are some specific signs you might be overlooking?

One. When conversing with this person, he or she makes stereotypical remarks, jokes or false assumptions about your age, race, gender or religion. You find yourself having to defend who you are and what you believe.

Two. When controversy erupts regarding your particular age group, race, religion, or gender, a racist person will make statements like, “Your people, you women, you young people…” You feel angry and often feel the need to explain why you or your group is different.

Three. When asking a boss or supervisor about additional opportunities to better yourself, share ideas, and service others, you are met with a negative attitude and are told, “Thank you, but I can handle it. You should stick with what you are doing.” Sometimes people will act as if they are superior by saying, “I didn’t know you knew that…I thought your people weren’t interested in that sort of thing.”

Four. When you share your personal experience, the person will belittle it, debate as if they were there, talk about their “friend” who is the same race or religion as you and do other things to make them look like the authority on the issue.

Five. When you try to be friendly or make friends, you are greeted half-heartedly or not at all. The person doesn’t include you in on any activities, meetings or events. When asked about them, he or she always has an excuse to why they hadn’t included you such as, “I misplaced your phone number. I thought I emailed you. I told Bill to tell you…I thought you knew already.”

Six. When you come around people act as if they don’t trust you without reason. They may even deliberately set traps to catch you lying or stealing so that they can replace you with someone else.

Seven. You overhear someone talking about your race and when you come around they quickly change the subject and act as if they like you. When you tell them what you have heard they try to set you apart from the rest.

When you feel discriminated against you must not act on feeling alone, you must have solid information that proves that a person was acting unfairly toward you because of your race. A quick indicator that most people who have been victims of prejudicial behavior is when you see that other people of a different race are being afforded better opportunities than you and when you question it the company always has an excuse despite all the efforts you made to fulfill company requirements.

By Nicholl McGuire

Tricks Employees Will Use With Managers

Ever wanted to know whether an employee was lying to you about needing some time off for personal reasons, but they were really looking for time off to interview? Have you ever questioned what happened to some missing office supplies and had a feeling that your favorite employee really took them? The following tips will help you determine what kind of employee you really hired and what you need to do to get them to fly right or get out! Each employee has been categorized based on the concerns you may have had with him or her.

Mr. Time Off

He just came back from vacation and will be taking off again. He seems to spend more time away from work then at work. Then when he is at work he isn’t getting much done. You will need to find out if he has any hidden agendas. Too much time off in a span of thirty days spells trouble, particularly if he doesn’t have the accumulated time to take off. Think about whether he had shared any information with you about his personal life leading up to this need for time off. When is his wife expecting? Would his grandma need special treatment? Does his child need surgery? Also, consider how he reacted to any recent evaluations or warnings you may have given him. When you are ready to speak with him, don’t make any assumptions. Let him do the talking. If you can accommodate his schedule, provide him with more money, or work with him in other ways. Be prepared to do it, if you plan to keep him.

Mr. Closet Thief

Someone is in the supply closet again. It seems that Mr. Closet Thief has been in the supplies more often since the recent shipment arrived. Every month he has a request for what seems to be the same supplies, but you have noticed that they are nowhere in his office after he receives them. Could those CDs he requests really be used to burn music? Is any of his tasks requiring him to use DVDs? What about those expensive pens, is he really going to a lot of business events that he needs that many? Where are all the ink cartridges going if he doesn’t send mass mailings out, print memos, etc.? The paper goes fast too, he is frequently in the copy room an employee tells you. The extra gifts from the last company event where are they being stored and does he have the only key? Need I say more?

Ms. Know-It-All

She doesn’t allow you to get to your desk before she tells you about everything that has went wrong today. For every solution you have to her concerns, she has several reasons as to why that just won’t work. She is an eloquent speaker, hard worker and too smart for her own good, but she just doesn’t know how to shut up long enough to consider what you are saying. Here’s what you need to do. Let her know before she comes into the office bothering you, what you need to do first before you can sit down and chat with her. Tell her when you are available to discuss her concerns, if she hasn’t written them in a memo, tell her to write them down with possible solutions and submit them to you for review. Once you have reviewed her concerns, respond in writing to each one. Call a meeting with her to discuss, but let her know in advance how long the meeting will be and remind her about your other obligations. Any concerns that she can complete without you let her know what she needs to do to get those tasks completed. She will most likely come up with more concerns during the meeting; however, don’t bother with the new concerns at that time. Make notes and reassure her that when she has done what you ask, those other issues will be addressed. If you find that she is not completing what you request, missing deadlines, making up excuses, etc. provide her with a verbal and written warning. This will humble her if she really needs the job. However, if she has given you any indication that she doesn’t really need the job, be prepared to get a replacement.

Mr. Lazy

You have asked him over and over again to submit his monthly report and for some reason he just never seems to give it you when you need it or he simply doesn’t do it at all. He will make up a million reasons as to why he just can’t seem to get it done. Mr. Lazy also has a problem with getting to work on time and he has many reasons for his tardiness too. He will need a serious wake up call. The scenario between you and he will play out like this: Find out what he will need to put aside to get the work done. He may need someone to take over one of his responsibilities (but then again don’t jump to this conclusion without interviewing some of his co-workers, remember he is lazy and could be making up excuses.) Use every disciplinary action available to you, following company protocol. Ask him how important is his job to him? Give him an option he can either begin to give you what you need by deadline, come to work on time, etc. or face possible termination (put your plan of action in writing.) He will have X amount of time to do it, if for some reason, he still can’t seem to follow through, then dismiss him. No second, third, fourth or more chances. You will lose respect not only with him, but everyone else on your team. Then you will find that people who weren’t usually late or submitted work on time will become nonchalant. They will always remember how you gave Mr. Lazy so many chances.

Ms. Busybody

You have noticed that every new person you have hired Ms. Busybody is ready to welcome them with all the latest company gossip. You know what her personality is like because she has brought quite a bit of news to you. However, she isn’t to be trusted so here’s what you can do to “shake her up.” Be forward with Ms. Busybody. She knows what she is doing and she will feel very embarrassed and fearful that she may lose her job when confronted on stories she is spreading. Remind her that people have been fired over gossip. Tell her that you don’t approve of certain conversations. Make it clear to your new employees what you will not tolerate, without naming her, and ask them to see you about any matter they have in question. 

Ms. Cover-up

She makes mistakes and she knows it. However, she doesn’t want anyone else to know it. You confront her tell her about an error you found and she is ready to blame it on someone else. Ms. Cover-up usually has an extensive history on this type of behavior. It most likely started when she was a child blaming her siblings for everything she has done to avoid discipline. Now she is an adult and continues to do the same thing. She may say things like, “I didn’t do that, the customer was irate. I didn’t follow up because I thought it was already taken care of.” You can fix this by making her accountable. When it comes to a situation where she is ready to blame someone, have evidence available that shuts down her accusations. Make it present before everyone, since she doesn’t mind bringing people’s names up behind their backs. Expose her repeatedly on her blame and she will eventually learn to take responsibility for her actions.

Mr. Con man

He is always looking for an opportunity to move up in the company, make more money, land a date or any thing else that will make him feel and look good. Watch out for his requests to work overtime. Then when you deny him, he will find an opportunity to stay late anyway so you have to pay him. “I had to stay late because XYZ needed fix.” He will make a situation look worst then it seems. He may also be interested in an available position that he may or may not be qualified for, he will have many reasons as to why he is more qualified while talking negatively about each one of his co-workers. Mr. Con man also enjoys conversing with the opposite sex. He will use any lag time in his workday to socialize with them. Don’t ignore those complaints women (or men) make about him “always coming around.” Keep a journal of dates and times when people have complained. In time he will usually do something dumb enough to get his self fired.

Once you have determined which kind of problem employee you may have, you will have to be sure that you not only meet with them, but follow up with whatever you have decided to circumvent their negative behavior. If you meet with your employee and do not provide a deadline for them to meet any of the goals you may have set for them to accomplish, and provided no consequences for their actions, then expect them to continue to act irresponsibly until you have no choice but to fire them. Hopefully, the other employees who have noticed how you have handled the situation with the problem employee will not resort to the same tactics. If so, it’s because they have learned that you do not handle matters immediately nor effectively and you may have to make some examples of a few more employees to correct your ineffective practices from the past.

By Nicholl McGuire

How to Know You’re Being Watched at Work

We are in an economic crisis as we all know and companies are doing what they can to save money including eliminating employees. When there are many good and talented people working it can be difficult for a manager to choose which will stay and which will be let go regardless of tenure. So how do they conduct a process to eliminate employees while saving the company thousands, they become petty! In the past they may not have cared that you showed up for work a few minutes late, they may not have bothered to review your expense reports carefully for wasteful spending, and it may not have mattered too much that you showed up a half an hour late from having lunch. But nowadays, what use to be considered, “Don’t worry about it, its okay!” Now has become “Worry about it. We don’t really need you.”

So how do you know you are being watched at work? Here are enough tips to help you make the necessary adjustments and hopefully get you off the company radar.

Your immediate supervisors and co-workers are contacted about your performance behind your back.

Those people you love to have lunch with may also be responsible for putting you on the radar to get the managers off their back. Sometimes those we work around know more than what they are telling us, so when they feel like they are backed into a corner with nowhere to go, out comes your name. You may have forgot about something that needs to be done, was slow about turning a document into your boss, or did something else that hasn’t gone over too well. When your co-worker doesn’t want any blame to fall on him or her, they will bring up someone or something else to distract the boss.

Your co-workers or supervisors seem to come around your workspace more.

This is their way of checking in on you. Don’t take those “Good mornings” lightly. They are also watching the clock too. What time did you come in to work is all they really want to know and then they may record it somewhere in their files. Did you leave for lunch early and come back late? He or she didn’t have that last minute request for nothing. Once you turn your timesheet in, they will check it for accuracy. If they catch you in a lie or two or maybe you just have a slow clock and they have a fast one, you just may be reprimanded which will set the paperwork in motion to eventually dismiss you. You may also notice they are showing up at your workspace nearing time for you to go home too. For some managers, they do this to see if you are leaving the office earlier that you should.

Someone checks the websites you have visited when you aren’t around.

If you haven’t learned how to clear history by now you should, but some people are just savvy enough to find other ways to see what you have visited like installing spy software. It is best to visit those social networking, gaming, video, music and personal email accounts away from the office.

Tasks may be created to see if you would volunteer for them.

You may have been able to get away with only doing the things that fit into your job description for years, well at some point someone will challenge you to do more and if you decline too many times, your boss may look toward the young and ambitious that work alongside of you to do what he or she requests. Try to be more flexible and find that spark you love about your job again.

Email time stamps and confirmation receipts are checked.

Bosses who are extremely detail oriented are checking the time stamp on when you sent an email and when you opened it. Don’t feel tempted to lie when you know you should have opened his or her email a little sooner. He or she will know because they have the time at which you responded and the time when they sent it. Lying will also put you on the radar for a future dismissal.

Fake problems are created to see how you would resolve them.

There are real problems at a company, but then there are the phony ones that some managers will create to test you. How you resolve to handle the mystery shopper’s issue that comes through the door or calls you over the phone may also determine whether you or your bubbly co-worker is a keeper.

Your company joins a network for live chat, and requires that you sign in everyday, so that they can see when you are online.

When your boss is in another town, city or state, he or she is not always able to just pop in on you, so to be sure that you are at least in the office; there are those companies who register for these types of programs. This way they can see whether you are offline still sleeping in or online ready to get your day started.

Certain co-workers may appear very friendly and visible because they may be responsible for “keeping an eye on you.”

Be wary of those people who smile in your face as the old song goes. They have hidden agendas whether they are looking to take your position, obtain some knowledge from you to elevate their status, or hope to get rid of you. If you do everything you can to at least keep your job on your end, then at least when the time comes to lay people off, you will be missed.

Traps are set such as money being left out in the open or a cabinet, door or drawer that is typically locked is suddenly left unlocked.

Sometimes there are accidents and sometimes there are those things that people do on purpose. Too many accidents only mean one thing someone is trying to set you up to fail. Always double check everything you are responsible for locking up and if you can get someone to witness your actions by all means do it!

Certain office desk drawers are set with paper sticking out and other traps to see if you opened them.

You know that you have no business snooping through your manager’s files, but you want to know what he or she has written about you or you may want to know when the company plans to lay people off, if you want to go sooner open that drawer otherwise walk away from temptation. Most likely, he or she has set it so that they can see whether you are trustworthy or looking for an excuse to let you go when the time comes.

Expense reports and company credit card statements are checked for excess or frivolous spending.

You know that you shouldn’t have bought the most expensive pens in the catalog or bought an extra meal to take home, but you did. You may want to attempt to cover up your actions with an excuse. Thanks to President Barack Obama’s speech on accountability, more and more companies are finding ways to make their employees accountable for wasteful spending.

Mileage on the company vehicle is checked closely.

Maybe in the past you didn’t always write down the exact mileage you used when you went from point a to point b in the company vehicle, because you knew you also shopped for groceries and took them home, stopped by a friend’s house, and picked up your dry cleaning – whatever you did, at some point someone will be responsible for checking the records and if you haven’t been honest that will also put you on the company radar.

Someone is used to ask you how you feel about your job.

You thought maybe this person sincerely cares about your honest feelings about your job. They may care, but then again they may not. This “good friend” may really be a “mole” for the boss who is wondering how you really feel about the job, him or her, and operations say the wrong thing and you give them an excuse to put you on radar.

Venting about your job is taken seriously and viewed as you being a trouble maker.

So you converse with the “mole” and now he or she has went back and told your boss about what you said. Depending on what your comments were such as, “I think this company needs to pay its employees more. Management does a poor job about meeting our demands. I am thinking about looking for another job” will determine whether he or she keeps you. Most likely, they will view you as a threat with the potential of rallying up support for your cause and if that is the case they will let you go without notice or reason.

Completion of tasks are timed.

The manager knows approximately how long it takes you to complete each task, so when he or she notices that you are falling behind schedule, this person will start searching. What could be distracting you lately to keep you from performing your duties? Is it the Internet, the personal telephone calls, or your social personality? All of which have been the cause of many talented individuals being dismissed.

Phone records are checked for long distance calls and how long you spent on the phone during work hours.

You may not think it’s a big deal to converse with your mother who lives on the other side of the world for about 15 minutes, but a manager who is looking to get his or her bonus for saving money in the department does think it’s a big deal. Not only that, he or she may reason that you aren’t meeting deadlines because you are too busy taking up company time chatting.

Fraternizing with the staff, clients, contractors, and customers.

Everyone has been guilty of talking or listening to someone longer then they should when they are suppose to be working. The boss who walks by looking at you isn’t admiring your new shirt, he or she is timing when you will wrap up that conversation and get back to work. When he or she has warned you about this behavior and you still continue to do it, at some point it won’t be hard to make a decision whether to keep or dismiss you.

In conclusion, consider all of these points the next time you go back to work and make necessary changes. It is very difficult to find a job these days that will give you the benefits you most likely receive at your current one don’t let a dismissal for petty things upset your way of life. As mentioned before, many companies are looking for ways to save money and if it means that they can eliminate just one more position from their workflow chart they will.

Signs of Lying and Getting the Truth

Some of the more obvious signs of lying include different answers when you repeat a question, and hesitation in answering. You also can watch for eye movements that differ from the usual. Be careful with these individual signs, since shifty eyes may be normal for some people, even when telling the truth. Compare eye movements and other behaviors to their known tendencies.

There are other signs of lying you can learn, but perhaps it is more useful to learn how to get the truth out of a person. That's what the rest of the tips below cover.

Motivation
Determine whether the person is more motivated by rewards or fear. You may have to ask about events in her past to determine this. Then tailor your approach accordingly. Suggest or hint at good things that will come from telling the truth, or bad things that will come from lying. You might even do both.

Build Rapport
Suppose you are trying to get some information about your friend - who may have lied to you - from his brother, who you don't know well. The first thing you would want to do is build rapport. If he mentions a movie he liked, you say, "Yeah, I loved that movie." You continue to find things you have in common with him and then start working any relevant questions into the conversation.
Rapport creates trust. Other ways to create rapport include sitting like the person you are talking to, using the same words and expressions he uses, and talking at the same speed. The more he feels that you are just like him, the more likely he is to open up and talk.

Use Subliminal Persuasion
Subliminally reward the subject whenever you know he is telling the truth, and quietly "punish" him when he lies or withholds information. This might be as simple as a compliment and a smile when he tells the truth, and an uncomfortable glare when he lies. If your acting ability is good enough, you might change your whole demeanor in a second according to whether he is cooperating or not.
Of course, you'll have to have a pretty clear idea of when he is lying and when he is telling the truth for this to work. But this will work when done right. Anyone who consistently feels stressed when lying, and relief or pleasure when telling the truth, will unconsciously feel a greater inclination to tell the truth.

Make Assumptions
You can sometimes get a confession by making assumptions about what you think happened. For example, suppose you suspect a friend of saying some nasty things about you. If you ask, he will lie.
Instead, you start with, "I think I know why you said those mean things about me, but if you're my friend you can at least tell me why you said them."

If your friend did say things about you, and is convinced that you know this, he will usually offer some explanation at this point, confirming his guilt. If he hesitates after you say this, he may be weighing his options, indicating that he did say something about you. He now has to decide to lie and risk losing the friendship, or acknowledge what he did. If he is truly innocent, he is likely to immediately say so.

The signs of lying are a good thing to know, then, but it can also help to know the techniques for getting at the truth.

Copyright Steve Gillman.

How to Deal with Lazy People at Your Workplace

You are a hard worker. You enjoy tackling a challenge and claiming victory when it's all said and done. You are not the type of person that necessarily enjoys working in teams, because you know that there is always one who isn't going to put 100% effort into the project, more like 20% or less. He or she will then go around and brag and boast they did more and would like a pat on the back for a contribution that was well...forgettable. How do you deal with these lazy people?

There are two types of lazy people. The first are those who admit, "Yes, I am lazy and I don't care who knows about it." The other group finds excuses, "I am not lazy. I just need to think about what I need to do before I do it." To this you say, "Well, how long is it going to be before you stop thinking and get to it?" The end result: nothing gets done.

The first group of lazy people when required to do anything will do the bare minimum. Since you know from the very start, if given the choice they will pick the least amount of work to do, give them the most. Sure they will complain, they will probably say what they won't do, but if there is a reward associated with it, they may find the motivation to do it. Motivation is essentially what they are lacking. The only way to find out what motivates them to stop playing solitaire on the computer and surfing the Internet, is to find out what they really want, need or both. One idea is to use time off as an incentive.

The second group of lazy people care about what others think, because if they didn't they wouldn't make unnecessary excuses to avoid negative comments. The way to motivate them is not to argue about the excuses that they make, but instead direct them to the task at hand and assign them specific deadlines they must meet. When deadlines are met, provide them with incentives as well or ways to make their job less cumbersome so that they are without excuse.
Lazy people are always looking for a way to make life easier for their selves. Most are very selfish. They aren't interested in helping others, but they will do it out of obligation. They know they have to eat; therefore, they will get a job, but they will be the ones you most likely see hanging around the water-cooler, talking in the break-room (when they have already took two breaks in less than an hour), out of site (and they are hoping out of your mind) when you need them and other similar behaviors.

Once you know you have someone like this around you, consider watching he or she more than the rest of the team. They are most likely going to be "up to no good." Too much time on their hands leads to gossip, lying, stealing and any other negative action, because they simply don't know how to keep themselves busy.

Many lazy people simply haven't been taught how to be good workers. You may want to show them basic principles on how one can achieve their best at work. Pointing the finger at Suzy and praising her for all her achievement in front of lazy workers is not the way to teach them, but describing the characteristics of a good worker is best.

by Nicholl McGuire

Spending More Time At Work Then At Home

Admit it, you treat people at work better than you treat the ones you say you love at home.

I know about money, bills, daycare, rent, lights, gas, emergency savings, etc. The stress of having to pay for all of these things is great and at times you want to walk away from it all. Yet, with all the responsibilities that are on your shoulders there are some people at home who wish you were spending as much time with them as you do at work.

When the time comes and it will and you are lying on your back sick from all your stress, the realization will come to you to change your life, you may do something about it, you may not. That's your choice, but their are heavy costs that you will pay if you don't. If your child is crying out for your attention now, your wife is telling you she wants to spend time with you and the grandparents are complaining about not seeing their you or their grandchild enough, these are warning signs to make the time for them.

If you are spiritual, you know that in the end of this life God isn't going to say, "job well done..." to the man or woman who acquired much material wealth and shared it; rather, he will be more interested in the relationships you accumulated with people and how you handled them.

Long hours at the job are needed if you have done all you can on the home front to cut costs. They also help (for a time) when you are trying to get your financial house in order again or if you are looking for a promotion. However, they are not meant to be used forever and companies who are financially savvy will not hesitate to cut them. Long hours aren't necessary if you know you are living comfortable, the bills are getting paid and you are secure in your position at work.

Time for yourself will always be needed to rejuvenate your mind,body and spirit. You can find the time during your lunchbreak, before you get to work or after work about once, twice or more a week. Of course on weekends, between spending time with your family, you can find even more time for yourself. However, when you don't take this time, everyone around you suffers and it usually isn't the people at work dealing with your mood swings, it is the people at home.

Your family is your support system in good times and in bad; yet, if you don't know how to "keep your cool" with them, then they can be your worst enemies. They deserve to be treated with respect like you treat your boss and co-workers. Notice how you communicate with people at work. You are polite, offer praise on a job, take the time to go out on lunch dates, always look your best, remember holidays and most of all sit down and meet with them to talk about upcoming plans, concerns, money and much more. Why is it that you can't set aside that time for your family when you come home? Yet, some of you will rush to get home to do what? Sit in front of the television, go to your room or participate in what you want to do barely socializing with your family. As for being tired, that happens, but if everyday you feel this way, then schedule a doctor's appointment.

Show some love, appreciation, respect, honesty, accountability, trust, etc. like you do at work. Consider the following, if your family waved thousands of dollars over your head you would feel motivated to do right by them, now wouldn't you? Well, they don't have money dangling over your head, but they do have love, now let that be your motivation! Capice?