What to Do About these Dreaded Holiday Party Invites?

Sam was grateful for the invitations to go out after work with his co-workers and to visit his in-laws, but he was in doubt about whether he should go to with this holidays season--there has been too many this year! 

Sam had heard how drunk his co-workers could get and he didn't want his wife to be angry with him again after their last visit to his in-laws. He was looking for a way out to decline both invitations, but he didn't want to disappoint anyone. Finally, he came up with an idea.

He told his co-workers that he had already made plans to visit his in-laws that night and they were surprised because they knew how much he disliked spending time with them. Then, he told his wife that he had been invited out after work, but that he didn't want to leave her alone all night so he was going to stay home. She was happy to hear this and said she would make dinner for him.

Sam was plenty burnt out with party invites.  He had previously accepted five the month before. One day when Sam got home from work, he found a note from his wife telling him that she had gone out with her friends and would be home late. He was relieved and decided to take advantage of the opportunity to watch TV without her nagging him to change the channel.

You might be like Sam or you know someone who is simply tired of having to go to parties no matter how important they are.  Here's what you can do the next time you are suddenly surprised by yet another holiday party invite.

If you find yourself constantly declining invitations to holiday parties, there are a few things you can do to make the process a bit easier on your colleagues (and yourself). First, try to be as specific as possible when declining an invitation. rather than saying "I'm sorry, I can't make it," try something like "I'm sorry, but I have a prior engagement that night." This will help your colleague understand that you're not just blowing them off.

If you know that you're going to have to decline an invitation well in advance, call, text, send a brief email and/or message letting the person know. This way, they won't be waiting around for an answer that never comes. Finally, if you find yourself in a situation where you absolutely cannot attend a party, try to send a gift or card in your place, even if you can't be there in person, it's still important to show your support for your family or colleagues.

Nicholl McGuire is the manager and contributor of this blog and also the author of Should I Go to the Party? and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.  Get your copies today!  These great reads will surely help your or someone you love!

Work Place After Parties, Happy Hours

It can be difficult working in an atmosphere that doesn't really appreciate you much. So for some of you reading this, you might not spend too much time with boss or workers other than to complete a job and then off you go.  However, there are those of you who love your co-workers like they are your brothers and sisters (at least so it appears that way).  Could your emotions get you in trouble one day?  Throw alcohol, drugs, or something else into the mix and who knows what might happen to your work relationship.

Sometimes we forget that people on the job are workers.  Even a family member is not a family member when it comes to business.  One has to put aside his or her personal and outside interests and carry on with business.  But some people who don't have much of a social life outside of the workplace, sometimes look at workers as best friends, brothers, sisters, lovers, and more.  It doesn't matter how likable a person is, he or she is put in your presence to assist with tasks not hand-hold, pleasure, or be a personal counselor.  However, so many have turned their work relationships into something more and have brought their "I like her...I like him" stories home to a spouse or partner who is glaring back with eyes of distrust.

Some of you might have already slipped when it comes to these happy hour events.  You may have reasoned, "What my sweetie doesn't know won't hurt her/him."  But what some workers fail to understand is that a loved one most likely has a feeling that something went down back in 19... or 2000 whatever and might go down again after happy hour, during idle time at work, or this upcoming holiday party.

There is much anxiety and tension in the air for some couples during this season of holiday parties and it only gets worse as it gets closer and closer to certain days.  When you know you have been guilty of getting a little bit too carried away at these work celebrations, you might want to do the wisest thing, sit out for a bit.  Now for some readers, they probably weren't expecting a blog entry post to advise such things.  "Sit out!  I wish I could, but my company..."  Just hold off on the reasons why the company party (or dare I say it that cute guy or gal in the office) is more important than your family.  For some readers, your company could do without a few of you showing up especially if you like to drink.

Some bosses are hoping and praying that some of you heavy drinkers don't show up.  Wives and husbands that have been cheated on are also hoping that a cheating mate will sit this one out this year.  You can make your new year a happy one and lessen some of your burdens by making other arrangements even if you suspect you might be tempted to act out of character.  Whatever your other arrangements are, they just might save your job.

I have personally observed much activity at company parties ie.) drunk women dressed slutty and dancing seductively, men misbehaving, and the boss and his assistant being a little too chummy while his wife just stares at the two of them. The next day the office reeked of last night's alcohol and cigar smells, arguments with a jealous spouse takes up most of the day, and reprimands are sent out to trouble-making workers inciting conflict over "he say, she say" statements.  Hung over and red face, a former boss and supervisor either looked a little too happy to see me or scary looking as if the two were possessed. Those spirits really did do a number on them and of course they left early and left the rest of us holding the bag.

Now for those who can handle their alcohol or shall I say partying, I have nothing to say to you.  Eat, drink and be merry if that's what you most desire to do.  But for those who know better, you best look at your situation with wise eyes and do what's right for you, your career, and your family.  Observers don't forget what you say or do at happy hour or any other social engagement.  Who knows what the new year holds for you?

Nicholl McGuire is the creator of the Job Journal.  A simple book to help you keep track of your thoughts while on the job.