Why would any woman or man in a relationship riddled with
lies, emotional abuse, and other ugly things want to quit a job? Wouldn’t he or she need money especially if
the relationship is coming to a slow end?
For some heartbroken couples, it is easier for them to cope by creating distractions
rather than addressing issues. Blaming
the job causes them to focus on something other than the spouse or partner who
really needs to go!
Being in an unsatisfying relationship will make you think
that issues you are faced with are really not at home especially when a partner
is repeatedly suggesting it is your job that is keeping you stressed.
Maybe it is the partner’s spending habits,
the extracurricular activities he/she or children are involved in that they
desire your participation, or the fact a partner simply doesn’t like you
working around women and/or men. Quit
enough jobs in a short period of time and you will soon discover that your
workplace isn't the problem, but the issues a possibly jealous, argumentative
or controlling partner has placed upon you.
Here's why some people do the unthinkable, like suddenly quit
a job, while maintaining a miserable relationship:
1. They have
convinced themselves that things will get better in the relationship if they
didn’t have to deal with difficult people at work. Although this might be true in some cases, this
may not be an accurate perspective when the partner is the one who is blaming
the job and putting you up to quitting it for selfish reasons.
2. Moving on to a
better opportunity while promising a troubled mate how much better life will be
is a good excuse not to deal with chronic relationship problems. You are buying time, because you aren’t ready
to call it quits. If a partner is
thinking about leaving, he or she might change his or her mind in order to reap
some benefits such as: a new house, monetary gifts, relocation to a desired
state, family planning, getting out of debt, etc.—all the things that an
increase in income might bring.
3. A spouse, family
member or friend may have advised that it might be in your best interest
emotionally and/or legally to take on a job that pays less money and requires
less responsibilities. However, once
again, consider how involved others are in choosing your new career path? Once again, are you avoiding relationship
difficulties by distracting yourself with a new job search?
4. The person assumes
that is what a partner might want is to quit the job, because he or she often
complained about it. When in all actuality, he or she just can’t manage anymore
both job and relationship challenges.
5. The controlling partner
redirects the blame on his or herself for causing certain relationship problems
on to your job. He or she is never at
fault. “Why don’t you look for another
job, Honey. You know how you can be when
you come home from work.” Maybe the one,
who will soon be unemployed, simply wants to come home to no one.
Consider all factors before ending a job especially if it is
one that you personally like. Sure, it
has its share of challenges, what job doesn’t?
Your personal life may be hindering you from being a success—don’t let
it!
Nicholl McGuire is the owner of this blog and the author of WhatElse Can I Do on the Internet? She also owns and contributes to a blog
entitled, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.
Showing posts with label personal issues at work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal issues at work. Show all posts
Tuesday
Monday
Effectively Managing Personal Issues at Work
Everyone goes through personal issues of some sort during their lives. Let's face it, when major family/personal issues arise, your time and energy is going to be focused on resolving these difficulties.
You're not a machine, you're human, so accept the realities as they are and don't bristle against them. Beating yourself up will accomplish nothing except low self-esteem something that will only add to already difficult circumstances. Accept the fact that you won't be at your best in the office during this time. Instead of taking the approach to "keep a stiff upper lip", try sharing with people around you. Let them in on the personal issues you're experiencing. Give them an understanding that your situation will require your absence from the office or will take up a lot of your time. Of course there's no need to share specifics unless you want to. Sometimes when you let others know the circumstances, it negates gossip and sets your co-workers' expectations properly. It also allows them to be more understanding and provide a way to reach out and offer help.
Some people prefer to "work through" a crisis and others may benefit from taking some time off or taking an unscheduled vacation. Depending on your circumstances, you may want to consider taking a sabbatical. Often we think we are handling things jut fine, but we really aren't.
Many years ago I was dealing with an issue that involved one of my children. It was a difficult and very challenging time for me and the rest of my family. A few close friends knew, but I felt that I couldn't or shouldn't let others know, and besides, I was handling it, right? Then one day, a client told me she thought I wasn't interested in her as a client anymore. When I asked why, she confided that I seemed distracted when we met and that I didn't send her emails or respond to her as I had in the past. I realized that while I thought I had myself under control, I didn't. I would have benefited from some time off, so I could focus on what needed handling without having to pretend' everything was all right while I was at work.
During this difficult time, size up your work load and priorities. Focus on what must be done and let everything else go. Make a point of reminding yourself that you can't do it all and only the things that absolutely must be done will get attention.
Be kind to yourself, ask for help from others and accept it graciously. For some reason, most people are hesitant or embarrassed about asking for help. It is during these times that we need others the most, so don't deprive yourself during these difficult times. And remember to take time for yourself. Going through a trying time will wear on you emotionally and physically, so take time to go to the gym, play golf, read a book or take a long, relaxing bath.
If you take care of yourself, you are better able to take of the personal issues in your life. Learn to embrace all facets of life. The cycles of personal problems and personal successes will flow and ebb and you will need to learn to flow along with them. Being kind to yourself is the first step.
Linda Finkle is a leading expert on organizational communication strategies and human potential development. As CEO of her executive coaching firm, INCEDO GROUP, Linda has helped countless leaders build internal communication and conflict resolution strategies. She brings about changes in attitude and leadership style that yield dramatic results. Company profitability is an inevitable side effect. Learn more at =>http://www.IncedoGroup.com
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