Do You Really Want to Be on Top in that Industry or Working with Those People?

They told you, "This would be a good job for you."  They said, "You are very talented, we want you!"  You said, "This is what I want to do..." Who are you kidding?  You don't even like the job much less the people, yet you stay like a victim in an abusive relationship then you get the wisdom, courage, motivation to leave, but then back to your work space you go day after day, week after week. Ho hum, ho hum.

I had a dream last night it was one of those really thought-provoking ones that was quite vivid and made me feel somewhat relieved and at peace.  I saw myself riding in one of those stylish, upscale elevators decorated in steel gray with detailing in a wood grain finish inside and new multi-gray carpeting.  Everything was new within and around.

The ride was very quick up to the 11th floor.  Then the elevator stopped without a sound or a jolt--I could barely feel it.  I realized I was at the top of a tall building. I looked in front of me and rather than see a door it was glass.  I observed the white collar professionals arranged in row seating on a crowded main floor.  They were sitting in high back black leather chairs behind high-end, long horizontal shaped, dark brown desks.

As I watched through three separate tall yet wide glass windows that were facing the east, west and north of me, I could see these thirty-something men and women were all very focused with those in front of them as well as the paperwork on their desks.  Some of these people were somewhat stressed from the looks in their eyes and none smiled not even a little bit or frowned.  They didn't exchange pleasantries with those seated in front of them which were primarily white--some older others about the same age. I felt the negative energy from the workers, they were quite tense, but the people in front of them not so much.  They were talking and the workers were listening.

I must mention on the way up to that 11th floor in my dream I was excited, but the positive feelings quickly went away and my anticipation of meeting those important looking people with their white shirts and business suits was no more.  I remained in the elevator and the doors never opened as the elevator went back down behind walls with no view.  A slow ride down and the dream ended.

Back to reality....I awoke realizing that being on top is not what I want, but being content is more important.  It didn't matter how much of my own kind I saw at the top (I saw many African Americans), that the corporate world at those levels wasn't for me.

So I say this to the weary worker, if you really want to be a genuine success in this life, try on happiness for size first!  It should come before location, benefits, dollar amount, the kind of people, you would like to work around or for, and more.

Will you sincerely be happy on the top?  You probably are already on your way like I was in the dream.  How much research have you really done related to your industry and where is it headed?  Will you be happy with the changes and will you be willing to go along with the programming?  Every workplace has programming and every worker will be trained/admonished/persuaded into doing certain things that might compromise your core beliefs.

When you are in Rome and don't play like the Romans, doors don't open for you, you are nothing more than a spectator--that's me.  So be willing to start from square one again when you suddenly realize, before they do, that you are not one of them.  What is your real calling in life?

It's a great ride up on that career ladder until truth hurts, and a life-changing situation puts you on that ride back down again.  But you will survive and with every trial you face, you only get stronger if you don't let people, places and things get the best of you!

I find myself enjoying my life these days even when it appears like nothing much is going on and money isn't all that great.  I realize more and more with each passing day that success isn't in how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, or where you live, but true success is being happy with you! Contentment or authentic joy can't be found among flawed men and women and it definitely doesn't show up in a competition with others who believe themselves to be something special or demi-gods, you have to look beyond mortals for sincere appreciation of life and all that comes with it!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of What Else Can I Do on the Internet?  The content in the book might be your breakthrough.  What are you overlooking or don't know about on the Internet that could improve your lifestyle, let this idea generating book along with this blog for bored people help you.

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What To Do When You Feel You Have Burned A Bridge With Someone

It happened one day, you said too much.  You wanted to take back everything you just said, but it was too late.  Everyone looked at you with a strange look of surprise, anger, and some even smirked.  You heard someone mumble, “He really did it this time!”  It’s what most of us fear, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  How do you rebuild a broken relationship with a boss or co-worker?

Time may heal all wounds for many people, but you don’t have much time in the workplace.  The threat of being written up, suspended or dismissed, looms on the horizon.  You need to start mending fences now.  If you realize at that very moment what you did was wrong and apologized that was half the battle.  Just as everyone was there for the negative statements, they were also there for the sincere apology.  However, there is still more work to do.  The following suggestions will, at the very least, put you on the right path to mend fences; however, the ultimate decision to let you back into the heart of the offended rests with him or her.  

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1. Make the time to personally apologize if you haven’t already.  If it happened publicly, you may want to offer a public apology as well, but ask them first.  They may not want to be embarrassed a second time. (If they live out of town either call or write regarding your apology.)

2. Explain to them what you meant without looking as if you are justifying the statement or covering yourself.

3. Tell them that they have every right to be angry.

4. Offer to do something for them.  You may know this person well enough to invite them to dinner, participate in a chore, do them a favor, etc.

5. Follow up with them on a later date with flowers, candy or some other charming gift. (Don’t do this on a daily or weekly basis it loses its impact and you may be considered a nuisance.) 

6. Make a personal phone call just to see how they are doing.  Don’t mention the negative event if they don’t.  Make the conversation short and simple.

7. Talk about something from the past that affected both you and the offended positively.  This helps with opening the lines of communication back up again.

8. Remember he or she during the holidays or their children’s birthdays.  If you have acknowledged these dates in the past don’t stop, and if you haven’t ever don’t begin.  You don’t want any false assumptions made in either instance.

9. Don’t go around asking their co-workers, friends, family members, etc. about what they said about you.  It may be something that will anger you and as we all know “two wrongs don’t make it right.”

10. Allow he or she some space.  If you don’t typically talk to this person very often, don’t start.  If you don’t see him or her often, don’t make a point to keep showing up at their doorstep, workplace or somewhere else.  Allow time to heal.

Although the statement was offensive, you may not have felt there was anything wrong with what was said, avoid being insensitive around him or her and witnesses.  Some people will make the mistake of apologizing then tell a mutual friend how they really feel.  If your true feelings leak out to others, then the person you offended will know you were being insincere.  

Use the negative event to help you see where you went wrong.  If many people tell you that you need to stop making offensive comments, then you know you have a problem.  However, if everyone knows you are a great guy or gal and you didn’t mean anything negative about what you said, then just make a note to yourself that the offended person is someone you may have to watch what you say around.  Be careful spending time with he or she at social events, you don’t want to be misunderstood again and will have to repeat this process on rebuilding your relationship with him or her.

Nicholl McGuire is the author What Else Can I Do on the Internet?

How To Start A Conversation With Celebrity Fans - Relationship Building to Get What You Want

Your boss or someone you are trying to impress shares with you that they are “the biggest XYZ fan!”  You should be thinking at that moment, “When opportunity knocks, take it!”  They begin to tell you about favorite movies they have watched with the celebrity in them.  They add they personally met him or her somewhere and they are “so nice!”  Meanwhile, you don’t know much about the celebrity, but you may want to know more, since this big fan of XYZ’s is important to you and may be able to help you in the future. 

The following tips are great conversation starters and ideas on how you can get on the excited fan’s good side.  When performed gradually and not daily or every week, you will build a positive relationship with that important person and will not appear to look like the teacher’s pet or a stalker.

1. If the celebrity is an actor, pick a few specific scenes from movies that he or she has performed (other than the nudity shots) that will start a conversation.  Know the names of some of their early movies.  If the celebrity is a singer, comedian or dancer, know about a few places they have entertained audiences throw some years in so that you look like you know what you are talking about.  For athletes, politicians, speakers, ministers, etc. mention books they have written, most exciting moments on television, opportunities you may have got to meet them, etc.

2. If you remember the celebrity, on a talk show, mention the conversation he or she had with the host.  Comment on what was said and how he or she looked.  If you can’t remember, visit a website that you can search for past television shows in the celebrity’s name.

3. Find a collectible, whimsical gift, book, magazine or product the celebrity may have created.  The fan will appreciate your thoughtfulness.  However, when buying books, don’t buy unofficial autobiographies.  They are not celebrity endorsed.  Also, don’t burn copies of DVDs and music it is illegal and most of all tacky.

4. Know some general facts about the celebrity.  Birthdays, where they were born, how they got their name to fame, personal likes and dislikes, marriages, divorces, etc.  Also, look for little known facts, like the nickname their mom gave them or a funny event that happened to them in grade school.

5. Find current news about the celebrity.  Is she pregnant?  Is she getting married?  Does she have a new film?  When will his new album be released?  Where will the band perform?

6. Rumors are interesting, but be careful how you deliver them and which ones to select when conversing with the fan.  If you should mention one, ask rather than tell.  “I heard that XYZ was seen doing…..do you think that is true?” 

7. Invite them to see a movie or a concert with the beloved celebrity performing.

8. If the excited fan says at any time, “Oh, I didn’t know you were a XYZ fan…”  Nonchalantly say, “I like to read about celebrities from time to time.”  You don’t want your intentions to lead to false hopes for the fan such as, “We can start a fan club?”  or “Let’s hang outside her home or visit her on the set!”  Nor, do you want future conversations to become nothing more than about a celebrity.  Find a way to ease your intentions into each conversation.  This is just a start in trying to build a positive relationship with this person.

9. Surprise the fan by taking them to a place the celebrity may have visited, auditioned, a past movie set, a place she grew up or a business they have established.

10. Share information with the fan about your favorite celebrity.  Who knows, maybe one day you might receive a really nice gift.

Since so many people adore celebrities, you might as well use what you know to get on someone's good side!  Utilize the tips and hopefully one day you will reap the benefits of creating a positive connection with someone (who might be a bit difficult to work with).

 

Nicholl McGuire is the author of What Else Can I Do on the Internet?