Thursday

When Trying to Be Nice No Longer Works On the Job

So you have done everything to appease that customer/client/employee/boss and now it is time to make this person see that you are nobody's fool any longer!  Just a minute, before you put your foot down, you do plan on keeping your job right? 

One.  Communicate how you feel in a serious tone.

Joking, smiling, and making flattering statements is not going to make this person who finds you weak consider you strong.  Fix your face!  Let's get serious.  The fun and games are over!

Two.  Express how his or her actions or inactions are affecting not just you, but the organization.

Show proof when you make accusations.  What exactly is he or she doing or not doing that is making you feel the way that you do?  Don't assume that the employee knows already.  Remember some people are mentally slow and don't catch on to hints and forget reminders.

Three.  Change your clothing and your posture for the meeting.

You might schedule to meet with this person on a specified day so that you will have time to go over all that concerns you.  If this is the case, then don't present yourself in the way you typically do with the employee.  Instead, address your concerns from a standing position, if you typically sit behind a desk or reverse.  Wear a bold, dark solid color, rather than a light color with prints.  Your demeanor should be showing this person, "I mean business."

Four.  Spell your concerns out and have them printed on paper.

Even though it might be a little issue or something that others wouldn't make a big deal about, you will want your situation in writing because it may be ongoing without any resolve.  Consult with Human Resources on what your rights are and have them review the contents of your communication. When talking to other's about your situation, you want to make it clear that the employee is just not understanding you or what you want after past attempts to talk to him or her. 

Your goal is to get a solution and fast before this person comes up with something to get the upperhand on you.  Upper management may not want to help because they are too busy for what they might consider petty.  Lower management may not care because this problem worker because he or she isn't affecting his or her department.  Keep in mind, to send a copy of your concern with those who need to know even if they don't want to help or don't think it is anything worth addressing.  Share your printed material you plan to give the employee along with any other communication before your confrontation with him or her.  After the meeting pen the results of your meeting and share with your superiors and then at a later date note the worker's progress.  This way if this person needs to be dismissed, you will have a paper trail.

If you should have to confront someone who you believe might be a liar, deceptive or has been known to get people fired, do let someone know about your experiences, what you plan to do, what you expect from this person, and what you hope will be accomplished if this person doesn't stop or start doing whatever it is that you are expecting.

Be polite, but not "nice" in the sense of being weak or sweet.  Most ikely this person keeps giving you problems, because he or she is taking your "nice" personality for being weak-minded. 

Use your voice to help you articulate your thoughts in a way that makes the worker know he or she has crossed the line.  If necessary, have witnesses.  Sometimes behind closed door confrontations don't do anything more than turn into "He say, She say..." matches.  So if something continues to happen, bring the matter out in the open in such a way that witnesses can see.  Of course, you may be reprimanded by an authority figure or someone might be offended and complain, but when nothing else seems to work, do what you must!  Sometimes public exposure is a very powerful weapon when used appropriately and will cause you to obtain the respect you deserve!

Nicholl McGuire writes and maintains other blogs including: When Mothers Cry and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

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