It only takes but a minute to say, "I apologize." However, ego prevents some from saying those two little words.
I remember those apologies that I had to say when I knowingly did something wrong, but then there are those apologies that have nothing to do with you, but you say them anyway just to quiet the person with the complaint. Then you follow them up with, "What would you like for me to do for you?" The person tells you what he or she wants, and you try to reach a compromise--end of story, right? Not for some people.
The worker and client become irritated because neither one feels like their being heard. The customer doesn't feel like his or her needs are being addressed. The worker doesn't want to be held accountable. He or she may avoid apologizing while the client looks for some peace of mind. The more the two talk, the more they don't get anywhere. Everyone involved becomes increasingly angry.
We all can avoid a lot of unnecessary arguing if we just simply acknowledge that there was a misunderstanding, say we're sorry, and try to make wrongs right. What's the use in taking on a defensive stance? In the end, you just may lose more than your temper.
Nicholl McGuire
Tuesday
New Kid on the Block?
They will look at you with a peculiar look, whisper something about you when you aren't looking, and try to befriend you if they can get something out of you, those old employees who know your job better than you.
You are the new kid on the block and chances are they had plenty of time to meet with one another on what changes they want to see happen in the workplace since the old person left. "Sir, have you considered changing our department's work-flow to include A, B and C? Have you noticed our break-room, we could sure use a new...? Did anyone tell you about our admin, she is useless?"
Show off your skills too soon and you just might have some people taking advantage of you, take too long to address an issue and someone might be looking to get rid of you. Finding middle ground is often a challenge, but you can do it! The advantage of being the new kid per-se is that you can bring a fresh perspective to an old way of doing things. If your ideas help the team meet goals, you come out ahead. However, if your thoughts are nothing more than repackaged goods from yesteryear, you won't win those that "have been there and done that."
How might you make a lasting first impression? Start off getting a few loyal followers by doing the following: "really" listening to them and address each concern, help them with those small requests (like a personal day off), offer a lunch date with the staff, create an incentive program to make some work days a little more interesting, and acknowledge a few personal announcements like that upcoming birthday or recent birth of a grandchild that an employee shares with you. They will think, "You remembered--wow!"
Being the new kid doesn't have to be a difficult transition, but you can make it be if you do some of the following things. For instance, if you don't bother to make a to-do list everyday, nothing you really want to get done will be accomplished. You will find yourself frequently forgetting to do things and apologizing more times than you can imagine for not staying up on tasks, not only that, you won't turn your bosses' heads (at least positively.) They will think, "Now why am I paying her the big bucks?" Forget to meet with key staff and you will be left out the loop. Miss too many important phone calls and/or arrive late for work often, and someone will think you are slacking off. As long as you look like you are in control, you just might win the respect of your team. Before long, you won't be that new kid that your employees think they can manipulate.
Nicholl McGuire
You are the new kid on the block and chances are they had plenty of time to meet with one another on what changes they want to see happen in the workplace since the old person left. "Sir, have you considered changing our department's work-flow to include A, B and C? Have you noticed our break-room, we could sure use a new...? Did anyone tell you about our admin, she is useless?"
Show off your skills too soon and you just might have some people taking advantage of you, take too long to address an issue and someone might be looking to get rid of you. Finding middle ground is often a challenge, but you can do it! The advantage of being the new kid per-se is that you can bring a fresh perspective to an old way of doing things. If your ideas help the team meet goals, you come out ahead. However, if your thoughts are nothing more than repackaged goods from yesteryear, you won't win those that "have been there and done that."
How might you make a lasting first impression? Start off getting a few loyal followers by doing the following: "really" listening to them and address each concern, help them with those small requests (like a personal day off), offer a lunch date with the staff, create an incentive program to make some work days a little more interesting, and acknowledge a few personal announcements like that upcoming birthday or recent birth of a grandchild that an employee shares with you. They will think, "You remembered--wow!"
Being the new kid doesn't have to be a difficult transition, but you can make it be if you do some of the following things. For instance, if you don't bother to make a to-do list everyday, nothing you really want to get done will be accomplished. You will find yourself frequently forgetting to do things and apologizing more times than you can imagine for not staying up on tasks, not only that, you won't turn your bosses' heads (at least positively.) They will think, "Now why am I paying her the big bucks?" Forget to meet with key staff and you will be left out the loop. Miss too many important phone calls and/or arrive late for work often, and someone will think you are slacking off. As long as you look like you are in control, you just might win the respect of your team. Before long, you won't be that new kid that your employees think they can manipulate.
Nicholl McGuire
How to Know You Are Being Discriminated Against
You may have noticed someone acting unfairly toward you whether blatantly or inadvertently and dismissed it in the past, but it keeps happening and you want to know whether they are discriminating against you. The following signs will help you discover whether a person doesn’t like you, but you will need more than one happening on a consistent basis to be able to determine whether a person is discriminating against you. So what are some specific signs you might be overlooking?
One. When conversing with this person, he or she makes stereotypical remarks, jokes or false assumptions about your age, race, gender or religion. You find yourself having to defend who you are and what you believe.
Two. When controversy erupts regarding your particular age group, race, religion, or gender, a racist person will make statements like, “Your people, you women, you young people…” You feel angry and often feel the need to explain why you or your group is different.
Three. When asking a boss or supervisor about additional opportunities to better yourself, share ideas, and service others, you are met with a negative attitude and are told, “Thank you, but I can handle it. You should stick with what you are doing.” Sometimes people will act as if they are superior by saying, “I didn’t know you knew that…I thought your people weren’t interested in that sort of thing.”
Four. When you share your personal experience, the person will belittle it, debate as if they were there, talk about their “friend” who is the same race or religion as you and do other things to make them look like the authority on the issue.
Five. When you try to be friendly or make friends, you are greeted half-heartedly or not at all. The person doesn’t include you in on any activities, meetings or events. When asked about them, he or she always has an excuse to why they hadn’t included you such as, “I misplaced your phone number. I thought I emailed you. I told Bill to tell you…I thought you knew already.”
Six. When you come around people act as if they don’t trust you without reason. They may even deliberately set traps to catch you lying or stealing so that they can replace you with someone else.
Seven. You overhear someone talking about your race and when you come around they quickly change the subject and act as if they like you. When you tell them what you have heard they try to set you apart from the rest.
When you feel discriminated against you must not act on feeling alone, you must have solid information that proves that a person was acting unfairly toward you because of your race. A quick indicator that most people who have been victims of prejudicial behavior is when you see that other people of a different race are being afforded better opportunities than you and when you question it the company always has an excuse despite all the efforts you made to fulfill company requirements.
By Nicholl McGuire
One. When conversing with this person, he or she makes stereotypical remarks, jokes or false assumptions about your age, race, gender or religion. You find yourself having to defend who you are and what you believe.
Two. When controversy erupts regarding your particular age group, race, religion, or gender, a racist person will make statements like, “Your people, you women, you young people…” You feel angry and often feel the need to explain why you or your group is different.
Three. When asking a boss or supervisor about additional opportunities to better yourself, share ideas, and service others, you are met with a negative attitude and are told, “Thank you, but I can handle it. You should stick with what you are doing.” Sometimes people will act as if they are superior by saying, “I didn’t know you knew that…I thought your people weren’t interested in that sort of thing.”
Four. When you share your personal experience, the person will belittle it, debate as if they were there, talk about their “friend” who is the same race or religion as you and do other things to make them look like the authority on the issue.
Five. When you try to be friendly or make friends, you are greeted half-heartedly or not at all. The person doesn’t include you in on any activities, meetings or events. When asked about them, he or she always has an excuse to why they hadn’t included you such as, “I misplaced your phone number. I thought I emailed you. I told Bill to tell you…I thought you knew already.”
Six. When you come around people act as if they don’t trust you without reason. They may even deliberately set traps to catch you lying or stealing so that they can replace you with someone else.
Seven. You overhear someone talking about your race and when you come around they quickly change the subject and act as if they like you. When you tell them what you have heard they try to set you apart from the rest.
When you feel discriminated against you must not act on feeling alone, you must have solid information that proves that a person was acting unfairly toward you because of your race. A quick indicator that most people who have been victims of prejudicial behavior is when you see that other people of a different race are being afforded better opportunities than you and when you question it the company always has an excuse despite all the efforts you made to fulfill company requirements.
By Nicholl McGuire
Monday
How to Deliver Bad News in Five Steps
You have been chosen to deliver the bad news to an unsuspecting person. You really don’t want to do it, but you know that if you don’t this person will most likely hear it in a way that might be insensitive, bitter or blatantly rude. Here’s what you need to do if put in that situation:
One. Pay close attention to your facial expression.
Look at your self in the mirror if one is available. Notice how you look as you think about the news you will be sharing with this person. Keep in mind how you would want someone to approach you with bad news.
Two. Think about your tone of voice.
You don’t want to ever sound angry, because this only makes the person anxious and irritated. You also don’t want to rush through the news either, because this will only put you in the position to have to repeat the news all over again.
Three. You will want to ponder on what you are going to say before you say it.
So the old adage goes, “It isn’t what you say it’s how you say it.” If you have to tell this person that someone is ill, dying, losing their job, they are a victim of theft, or their mate was seen cheating, then you will want to save the long speech and get to the point.
Four. When you begin to share the news in your calm, controlled voice, start with something they already know before you tell them something they don’t know, because it prepares their ears to hear what you have to say.
For instance, let’s say this person is going to lose his or her job you may say something like, “You know our boss has been talking about letting some people go…” Then you will provide details, “Well I was informed that on January 1 the company will be letting several employees go.” By this point he or she may interrupt with, “Does this mean I will be leaving the company too?” then you can confirm the details. If they don’t catch on to what you are saying, then state what the company will be doing by making your point clear, “So I have been told you are one of the employees. However, I found out that XYZ is hiring.” You will do the same if you should deliver other bad news. State what you know, provide details, and if you are able to assist them in any way with their problem offer to do so.
Five. Give them some space, if need be excuse yourself.
Most people who receive bad news need time to think. They may have many questions or none at all. Some may be in shock and may not be thinking clearly. Give the person a chance to collect his or her thoughts before you give them anymore information. Whatever you do, never give them false hope by telling them something you are not certain. You may not know the answers to all their questions and if so, direct them to someone who could help them.
Giving someone bad news is never easy to do, but if you take your time, stick to the facts, and keep your composure at least you know you have done your part to the best of your ability.
By Nicholl McGuire
One. Pay close attention to your facial expression.
Look at your self in the mirror if one is available. Notice how you look as you think about the news you will be sharing with this person. Keep in mind how you would want someone to approach you with bad news.
Two. Think about your tone of voice.
You don’t want to ever sound angry, because this only makes the person anxious and irritated. You also don’t want to rush through the news either, because this will only put you in the position to have to repeat the news all over again.
Three. You will want to ponder on what you are going to say before you say it.
So the old adage goes, “It isn’t what you say it’s how you say it.” If you have to tell this person that someone is ill, dying, losing their job, they are a victim of theft, or their mate was seen cheating, then you will want to save the long speech and get to the point.
Four. When you begin to share the news in your calm, controlled voice, start with something they already know before you tell them something they don’t know, because it prepares their ears to hear what you have to say.
For instance, let’s say this person is going to lose his or her job you may say something like, “You know our boss has been talking about letting some people go…” Then you will provide details, “Well I was informed that on January 1 the company will be letting several employees go.” By this point he or she may interrupt with, “Does this mean I will be leaving the company too?” then you can confirm the details. If they don’t catch on to what you are saying, then state what the company will be doing by making your point clear, “So I have been told you are one of the employees. However, I found out that XYZ is hiring.” You will do the same if you should deliver other bad news. State what you know, provide details, and if you are able to assist them in any way with their problem offer to do so.
Five. Give them some space, if need be excuse yourself.
Most people who receive bad news need time to think. They may have many questions or none at all. Some may be in shock and may not be thinking clearly. Give the person a chance to collect his or her thoughts before you give them anymore information. Whatever you do, never give them false hope by telling them something you are not certain. You may not know the answers to all their questions and if so, direct them to someone who could help them.
Giving someone bad news is never easy to do, but if you take your time, stick to the facts, and keep your composure at least you know you have done your part to the best of your ability.
By Nicholl McGuire
Sunday
A Great First Impression is a Lasting One
He is the one everyone seems to like and she seems to be the one that is always being praised. How do they do it? What must you do to stay one step ahead at work, in social environments, and other places you are trying to make a lasting impression? Here are seven things you need to do within the next seven days to boost your reputation with others.
1. Think of everything that is wrong with a situation and try to make it better.
There is always something that could be improved, changed, rearranged, or done away with. Look around for opportunities to solve problems while making life better for those around you. Then get these people who you are trying to impress involved with your ideas.
2. Make room in your schedule for a time to sit and talk with the one you are trying to impress.
Contrary to popular belief, especially in a down economy, you don't want to scare anyone with an over the top invitation that includes fine wine, expensive dinner, and other things that may look like wasteful spending in the eyes of those who are budget conscious. The goal with a one-on -one meeting is to get this person to see you. This would be a perfect time to share your knowledge with this person and tell them how you can be of assistance to him or her. Don't just reserve a meeting like this for someone at your workplace, try this with a person you wouldn't mind having a relationship. Who says you have to have a traditional date to get to know someone?
3. Utilize any and all communication devices to make a connection.
Whenever you can call, email, text, or chat online with someone, do it. But don't use all devices on the same day; you might scare him or her away! You can easily start a conversation with someone by asking them a question, sharing some knowledge about something they may be interested in, or praising them for something they did for you or someone else. These are great ways to take them up on their request to call them some time.
4. Don't pass on opportunities to meet with people in significant positions.
Even if you don't golf, could care less about bowling, or absolutely hate going to church picnics, if you know that the people you are trying to impress will be there, you need to be there too! What better way to see these men and women in leadership in a different atmosphere? Who knows, he or she might have heard some wonderful things about you and would like to know more. Don't be a stranger when you don't have to be.
5. Avoid socializing with people who have had a major disagreement with those you are trying to impress. Sometimes a person will falsely assume that you are a negative person just by the company you keep. Disassociate yourself from people who are not interested in building a positive reputation, impacting those in management, or helping others.
6. Be dressed to impress.
This seems to be a problem with people who are so focused on what they are planning to say when they are around that group they want to impress, that they forget about basic things like appearance and body odor. What a person sees is just as important, if not more, as what they hear.
7. Be honest.
People can tell the difference between someone who is genuine and someone who is being fake. Be secure in who you are by doing things to help you love and appreciate yourself. When you are equipped with knowledge of who you are and where you want to go in this life, you won't find yourself scripting phone calls or acting around certain people, you will just do it naturally. Those who may have much education, miss out on great opportunities in life because they don't know how to separate the person who has book knowledge from the average Joe who has common sense. Figure out how to balance the two.
These seven tips you can do as soon as you’re done reading this. Create a plan that will keep you on the mind of the individual or group you are trying to impress, but whatever you choose to do, don't do the following: make a nuisance of yourself, talk about others negatively, share a lot about your personal life, offend by making jokes or comments about people, places, and things you don't know much about or know too much about, or break rules. It’s better to do more listening and less talking. When you are ready to make that lasting impression, do it with style! Also, remember to offer your assistance -- people always want to know what you will do for them before they will ask you, “What can I do for you?”
By Nicholl McGuire
1. Think of everything that is wrong with a situation and try to make it better.
There is always something that could be improved, changed, rearranged, or done away with. Look around for opportunities to solve problems while making life better for those around you. Then get these people who you are trying to impress involved with your ideas.
2. Make room in your schedule for a time to sit and talk with the one you are trying to impress.
Contrary to popular belief, especially in a down economy, you don't want to scare anyone with an over the top invitation that includes fine wine, expensive dinner, and other things that may look like wasteful spending in the eyes of those who are budget conscious. The goal with a one-on -one meeting is to get this person to see you. This would be a perfect time to share your knowledge with this person and tell them how you can be of assistance to him or her. Don't just reserve a meeting like this for someone at your workplace, try this with a person you wouldn't mind having a relationship. Who says you have to have a traditional date to get to know someone?
3. Utilize any and all communication devices to make a connection.
Whenever you can call, email, text, or chat online with someone, do it. But don't use all devices on the same day; you might scare him or her away! You can easily start a conversation with someone by asking them a question, sharing some knowledge about something they may be interested in, or praising them for something they did for you or someone else. These are great ways to take them up on their request to call them some time.
4. Don't pass on opportunities to meet with people in significant positions.
Even if you don't golf, could care less about bowling, or absolutely hate going to church picnics, if you know that the people you are trying to impress will be there, you need to be there too! What better way to see these men and women in leadership in a different atmosphere? Who knows, he or she might have heard some wonderful things about you and would like to know more. Don't be a stranger when you don't have to be.
5. Avoid socializing with people who have had a major disagreement with those you are trying to impress. Sometimes a person will falsely assume that you are a negative person just by the company you keep. Disassociate yourself from people who are not interested in building a positive reputation, impacting those in management, or helping others.
6. Be dressed to impress.
This seems to be a problem with people who are so focused on what they are planning to say when they are around that group they want to impress, that they forget about basic things like appearance and body odor. What a person sees is just as important, if not more, as what they hear.
7. Be honest.
People can tell the difference between someone who is genuine and someone who is being fake. Be secure in who you are by doing things to help you love and appreciate yourself. When you are equipped with knowledge of who you are and where you want to go in this life, you won't find yourself scripting phone calls or acting around certain people, you will just do it naturally. Those who may have much education, miss out on great opportunities in life because they don't know how to separate the person who has book knowledge from the average Joe who has common sense. Figure out how to balance the two.
These seven tips you can do as soon as you’re done reading this. Create a plan that will keep you on the mind of the individual or group you are trying to impress, but whatever you choose to do, don't do the following: make a nuisance of yourself, talk about others negatively, share a lot about your personal life, offend by making jokes or comments about people, places, and things you don't know much about or know too much about, or break rules. It’s better to do more listening and less talking. When you are ready to make that lasting impression, do it with style! Also, remember to offer your assistance -- people always want to know what you will do for them before they will ask you, “What can I do for you?”
By Nicholl McGuire
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