You may have noticed someone acting unfairly toward you whether blatantly or inadvertently and dismissed it in the past, but it keeps happening and you want to know whether they are discriminating against you. The following signs will help you discover whether a person doesn’t like you, but you will need more than one happening on a consistent basis to be able to determine whether a person is discriminating against you. So what are some specific signs you might be overlooking?
One. When conversing with this person, he or she makes stereotypical remarks, jokes or false assumptions about your age, race, gender or religion. You find yourself having to defend who you are and what you believe.
Two. When controversy erupts regarding your particular age group, race, religion, or gender, a racist person will make statements like, “Your people, you women, you young people…” You feel angry and often feel the need to explain why you or your group is different.
Three. When asking a boss or supervisor about additional opportunities to better yourself, share ideas, and service others, you are met with a negative attitude and are told, “Thank you, but I can handle it. You should stick with what you are doing.” Sometimes people will act as if they are superior by saying, “I didn’t know you knew that…I thought your people weren’t interested in that sort of thing.”
Four. When you share your personal experience, the person will belittle it, debate as if they were there, talk about their “friend” who is the same race or religion as you and do other things to make them look like the authority on the issue.
Five. When you try to be friendly or make friends, you are greeted half-heartedly or not at all. The person doesn’t include you in on any activities, meetings or events. When asked about them, he or she always has an excuse to why they hadn’t included you such as, “I misplaced your phone number. I thought I emailed you. I told Bill to tell you…I thought you knew already.”
Six. When you come around people act as if they don’t trust you without reason. They may even deliberately set traps to catch you lying or stealing so that they can replace you with someone else.
Seven. You overhear someone talking about your race and when you come around they quickly change the subject and act as if they like you. When you tell them what you have heard they try to set you apart from the rest.
When you feel discriminated against you must not act on feeling alone, you must have solid information that proves that a person was acting unfairly toward you because of your race. A quick indicator that most people who have been victims of prejudicial behavior is when you see that other people of a different race are being afforded better opportunities than you and when you question it the company always has an excuse despite all the efforts you made to fulfill company requirements.
By Nicholl McGuire
Monday
How to Deliver Bad News in Five Steps
You have been chosen to deliver the bad news to an unsuspecting person. You really don’t want to do it, but you know that if you don’t this person will most likely hear it in a way that might be insensitive, bitter or blatantly rude. Here’s what you need to do if put in that situation:
One. Pay close attention to your facial expression.
Look at your self in the mirror if one is available. Notice how you look as you think about the news you will be sharing with this person. Keep in mind how you would want someone to approach you with bad news.
Two. Think about your tone of voice.
You don’t want to ever sound angry, because this only makes the person anxious and irritated. You also don’t want to rush through the news either, because this will only put you in the position to have to repeat the news all over again.
Three. You will want to ponder on what you are going to say before you say it.
So the old adage goes, “It isn’t what you say it’s how you say it.” If you have to tell this person that someone is ill, dying, losing their job, they are a victim of theft, or their mate was seen cheating, then you will want to save the long speech and get to the point.
Four. When you begin to share the news in your calm, controlled voice, start with something they already know before you tell them something they don’t know, because it prepares their ears to hear what you have to say.
For instance, let’s say this person is going to lose his or her job you may say something like, “You know our boss has been talking about letting some people go…” Then you will provide details, “Well I was informed that on January 1 the company will be letting several employees go.” By this point he or she may interrupt with, “Does this mean I will be leaving the company too?” then you can confirm the details. If they don’t catch on to what you are saying, then state what the company will be doing by making your point clear, “So I have been told you are one of the employees. However, I found out that XYZ is hiring.” You will do the same if you should deliver other bad news. State what you know, provide details, and if you are able to assist them in any way with their problem offer to do so.
Five. Give them some space, if need be excuse yourself.
Most people who receive bad news need time to think. They may have many questions or none at all. Some may be in shock and may not be thinking clearly. Give the person a chance to collect his or her thoughts before you give them anymore information. Whatever you do, never give them false hope by telling them something you are not certain. You may not know the answers to all their questions and if so, direct them to someone who could help them.
Giving someone bad news is never easy to do, but if you take your time, stick to the facts, and keep your composure at least you know you have done your part to the best of your ability.
By Nicholl McGuire
One. Pay close attention to your facial expression.
Look at your self in the mirror if one is available. Notice how you look as you think about the news you will be sharing with this person. Keep in mind how you would want someone to approach you with bad news.
Two. Think about your tone of voice.
You don’t want to ever sound angry, because this only makes the person anxious and irritated. You also don’t want to rush through the news either, because this will only put you in the position to have to repeat the news all over again.
Three. You will want to ponder on what you are going to say before you say it.
So the old adage goes, “It isn’t what you say it’s how you say it.” If you have to tell this person that someone is ill, dying, losing their job, they are a victim of theft, or their mate was seen cheating, then you will want to save the long speech and get to the point.
Four. When you begin to share the news in your calm, controlled voice, start with something they already know before you tell them something they don’t know, because it prepares their ears to hear what you have to say.
For instance, let’s say this person is going to lose his or her job you may say something like, “You know our boss has been talking about letting some people go…” Then you will provide details, “Well I was informed that on January 1 the company will be letting several employees go.” By this point he or she may interrupt with, “Does this mean I will be leaving the company too?” then you can confirm the details. If they don’t catch on to what you are saying, then state what the company will be doing by making your point clear, “So I have been told you are one of the employees. However, I found out that XYZ is hiring.” You will do the same if you should deliver other bad news. State what you know, provide details, and if you are able to assist them in any way with their problem offer to do so.
Five. Give them some space, if need be excuse yourself.
Most people who receive bad news need time to think. They may have many questions or none at all. Some may be in shock and may not be thinking clearly. Give the person a chance to collect his or her thoughts before you give them anymore information. Whatever you do, never give them false hope by telling them something you are not certain. You may not know the answers to all their questions and if so, direct them to someone who could help them.
Giving someone bad news is never easy to do, but if you take your time, stick to the facts, and keep your composure at least you know you have done your part to the best of your ability.
By Nicholl McGuire
Sunday
A Great First Impression is a Lasting One
He is the one everyone seems to like and she seems to be the one that is always being praised. How do they do it? What must you do to stay one step ahead at work, in social environments, and other places you are trying to make a lasting impression? Here are seven things you need to do within the next seven days to boost your reputation with others.
1. Think of everything that is wrong with a situation and try to make it better.
There is always something that could be improved, changed, rearranged, or done away with. Look around for opportunities to solve problems while making life better for those around you. Then get these people who you are trying to impress involved with your ideas.
2. Make room in your schedule for a time to sit and talk with the one you are trying to impress.
Contrary to popular belief, especially in a down economy, you don't want to scare anyone with an over the top invitation that includes fine wine, expensive dinner, and other things that may look like wasteful spending in the eyes of those who are budget conscious. The goal with a one-on -one meeting is to get this person to see you. This would be a perfect time to share your knowledge with this person and tell them how you can be of assistance to him or her. Don't just reserve a meeting like this for someone at your workplace, try this with a person you wouldn't mind having a relationship. Who says you have to have a traditional date to get to know someone?
3. Utilize any and all communication devices to make a connection.
Whenever you can call, email, text, or chat online with someone, do it. But don't use all devices on the same day; you might scare him or her away! You can easily start a conversation with someone by asking them a question, sharing some knowledge about something they may be interested in, or praising them for something they did for you or someone else. These are great ways to take them up on their request to call them some time.
4. Don't pass on opportunities to meet with people in significant positions.
Even if you don't golf, could care less about bowling, or absolutely hate going to church picnics, if you know that the people you are trying to impress will be there, you need to be there too! What better way to see these men and women in leadership in a different atmosphere? Who knows, he or she might have heard some wonderful things about you and would like to know more. Don't be a stranger when you don't have to be.
5. Avoid socializing with people who have had a major disagreement with those you are trying to impress. Sometimes a person will falsely assume that you are a negative person just by the company you keep. Disassociate yourself from people who are not interested in building a positive reputation, impacting those in management, or helping others.
6. Be dressed to impress.
This seems to be a problem with people who are so focused on what they are planning to say when they are around that group they want to impress, that they forget about basic things like appearance and body odor. What a person sees is just as important, if not more, as what they hear.
7. Be honest.
People can tell the difference between someone who is genuine and someone who is being fake. Be secure in who you are by doing things to help you love and appreciate yourself. When you are equipped with knowledge of who you are and where you want to go in this life, you won't find yourself scripting phone calls or acting around certain people, you will just do it naturally. Those who may have much education, miss out on great opportunities in life because they don't know how to separate the person who has book knowledge from the average Joe who has common sense. Figure out how to balance the two.
These seven tips you can do as soon as you’re done reading this. Create a plan that will keep you on the mind of the individual or group you are trying to impress, but whatever you choose to do, don't do the following: make a nuisance of yourself, talk about others negatively, share a lot about your personal life, offend by making jokes or comments about people, places, and things you don't know much about or know too much about, or break rules. It’s better to do more listening and less talking. When you are ready to make that lasting impression, do it with style! Also, remember to offer your assistance -- people always want to know what you will do for them before they will ask you, “What can I do for you?”
By Nicholl McGuire
1. Think of everything that is wrong with a situation and try to make it better.
There is always something that could be improved, changed, rearranged, or done away with. Look around for opportunities to solve problems while making life better for those around you. Then get these people who you are trying to impress involved with your ideas.
2. Make room in your schedule for a time to sit and talk with the one you are trying to impress.
Contrary to popular belief, especially in a down economy, you don't want to scare anyone with an over the top invitation that includes fine wine, expensive dinner, and other things that may look like wasteful spending in the eyes of those who are budget conscious. The goal with a one-on -one meeting is to get this person to see you. This would be a perfect time to share your knowledge with this person and tell them how you can be of assistance to him or her. Don't just reserve a meeting like this for someone at your workplace, try this with a person you wouldn't mind having a relationship. Who says you have to have a traditional date to get to know someone?
3. Utilize any and all communication devices to make a connection.
Whenever you can call, email, text, or chat online with someone, do it. But don't use all devices on the same day; you might scare him or her away! You can easily start a conversation with someone by asking them a question, sharing some knowledge about something they may be interested in, or praising them for something they did for you or someone else. These are great ways to take them up on their request to call them some time.
4. Don't pass on opportunities to meet with people in significant positions.
Even if you don't golf, could care less about bowling, or absolutely hate going to church picnics, if you know that the people you are trying to impress will be there, you need to be there too! What better way to see these men and women in leadership in a different atmosphere? Who knows, he or she might have heard some wonderful things about you and would like to know more. Don't be a stranger when you don't have to be.
5. Avoid socializing with people who have had a major disagreement with those you are trying to impress. Sometimes a person will falsely assume that you are a negative person just by the company you keep. Disassociate yourself from people who are not interested in building a positive reputation, impacting those in management, or helping others.
6. Be dressed to impress.
This seems to be a problem with people who are so focused on what they are planning to say when they are around that group they want to impress, that they forget about basic things like appearance and body odor. What a person sees is just as important, if not more, as what they hear.
7. Be honest.
People can tell the difference between someone who is genuine and someone who is being fake. Be secure in who you are by doing things to help you love and appreciate yourself. When you are equipped with knowledge of who you are and where you want to go in this life, you won't find yourself scripting phone calls or acting around certain people, you will just do it naturally. Those who may have much education, miss out on great opportunities in life because they don't know how to separate the person who has book knowledge from the average Joe who has common sense. Figure out how to balance the two.
These seven tips you can do as soon as you’re done reading this. Create a plan that will keep you on the mind of the individual or group you are trying to impress, but whatever you choose to do, don't do the following: make a nuisance of yourself, talk about others negatively, share a lot about your personal life, offend by making jokes or comments about people, places, and things you don't know much about or know too much about, or break rules. It’s better to do more listening and less talking. When you are ready to make that lasting impression, do it with style! Also, remember to offer your assistance -- people always want to know what you will do for them before they will ask you, “What can I do for you?”
By Nicholl McGuire
How to Manage Your Temper with a Crazy Boss
He is often anger, she is hyper active, and you feel like you are in over your head! How do you deal with an over the top personality at work? Here are some basic solutions to help you keep your cool while on your job.
You may remember the wise Proverb from the Christian’s Bible that says, “A soft answer turns away wrath,” how true this statement is! If someone speaks loudly to you, rants about everything that is going on around them, and you respond with a low, controlled voice having very little if anything to say, usually they won’t want to be in your presence for long. They may also calm down when they realize they are looking like a fool in front of you or become so angry that they quickly dismiss you from their presence.
If what they say is shocking and offensive, rather than immediately react, try walking away while saying, “I need to take a bathroom break. Do you want anything from the vending machine? I need to take care of another issue, I will come back later.” Many hot tempered people resort to name-calling, threats to physically beat up someone, and other things that can cost them their job and/or their freedom. As much as you would like to say or do something to get even, remember anything you do has not only a negative effect on the one you are doing it to, but you and those who know you will be impacted as well.
The first thing you will want to think about when dealing with a person you know it’s not completely a master at self-control is to find ways to keep yourself busy. When you make time for a person like this, he or she will always look for you to listen to them whenever they are having some kind of crisis or meltdown. Always have something going on and never encourage their negativity by giving him or her lots of eye contact, nodding your head or acting interested. Laughing or teasing can easily be misunderstood by someone who is in a rage. If you joke around at the wrong time, your crazy boss who was once upset at someone else will most likely become upset with you which will ultimately trigger a negative reaction within you toward your boss.
Another thing you will want to consider when dealing with a hypersensitive personality type is how he or she interacts with others and how others respond to them. When you find you don’t know what to say or do around this person, watch how others react. Find a way to react to him or her that you are most comfortable. In this way, you are in control of how you feel and not the other way around.
Next, if your boss seems to be happy one minute and cursing like sailor the next, avoid approaching him or her with a concern if you can find someone else who can assist you. This mentally unstable person may direct their negative attitude on you, just because you brought them yet another problem they feel obligated to solve.
Third, think of ways you can always look good in his or her sight. This angry person may be your secret weapon one day in case you need someone to help you fight a battle in the board room, court room or wherever you need support in the workplace. Find out what his or her favorite music is when he or she is mellow, listen to the conversations they are having with others, and take the time to study their mannerisms and wardrobe. You may learn a thing or two about your boss that no one else has noticed and this small detail may win you brownie points with him or her.
Lastly, avoid wasting a hot tempered boss’ time by complaining. Remember you want to be a part of the solution not a part of the problem. Whenever you approach your boss, get to the point, find a way to communicate a 10 minute discussion into a five minute one. Ask questions when you don’t understand something and never assume you know-it-all when you don’t. When the time comes to meet with your boss about a concern, provide him or her with appealing visuals if you know this person likes them and also to help you illustrate your point, but if you don’t know whether your boss likes pie charts over statistics and you aren’t quite clear on the subject matter you are attempting to present then you are setting yourself up to be the next victim.
Hot tempered bosses could care less about what others think. They aren’t usually the likeable type, they usually don’t have many friends, and they don’t really like people but tolerate them because they need a paycheck. Don’t expect an angry boss to hand hold, micro manage, or spend a lot of time repeating his or her instructions, difficult bosses prefer fast learners who make them look good, and are readily available when they call – simply put a good slave!
Nicholl McGuire
You may remember the wise Proverb from the Christian’s Bible that says, “A soft answer turns away wrath,” how true this statement is! If someone speaks loudly to you, rants about everything that is going on around them, and you respond with a low, controlled voice having very little if anything to say, usually they won’t want to be in your presence for long. They may also calm down when they realize they are looking like a fool in front of you or become so angry that they quickly dismiss you from their presence.
If what they say is shocking and offensive, rather than immediately react, try walking away while saying, “I need to take a bathroom break. Do you want anything from the vending machine? I need to take care of another issue, I will come back later.” Many hot tempered people resort to name-calling, threats to physically beat up someone, and other things that can cost them their job and/or their freedom. As much as you would like to say or do something to get even, remember anything you do has not only a negative effect on the one you are doing it to, but you and those who know you will be impacted as well.
The first thing you will want to think about when dealing with a person you know it’s not completely a master at self-control is to find ways to keep yourself busy. When you make time for a person like this, he or she will always look for you to listen to them whenever they are having some kind of crisis or meltdown. Always have something going on and never encourage their negativity by giving him or her lots of eye contact, nodding your head or acting interested. Laughing or teasing can easily be misunderstood by someone who is in a rage. If you joke around at the wrong time, your crazy boss who was once upset at someone else will most likely become upset with you which will ultimately trigger a negative reaction within you toward your boss.
Another thing you will want to consider when dealing with a hypersensitive personality type is how he or she interacts with others and how others respond to them. When you find you don’t know what to say or do around this person, watch how others react. Find a way to react to him or her that you are most comfortable. In this way, you are in control of how you feel and not the other way around.
Next, if your boss seems to be happy one minute and cursing like sailor the next, avoid approaching him or her with a concern if you can find someone else who can assist you. This mentally unstable person may direct their negative attitude on you, just because you brought them yet another problem they feel obligated to solve.
Third, think of ways you can always look good in his or her sight. This angry person may be your secret weapon one day in case you need someone to help you fight a battle in the board room, court room or wherever you need support in the workplace. Find out what his or her favorite music is when he or she is mellow, listen to the conversations they are having with others, and take the time to study their mannerisms and wardrobe. You may learn a thing or two about your boss that no one else has noticed and this small detail may win you brownie points with him or her.
Lastly, avoid wasting a hot tempered boss’ time by complaining. Remember you want to be a part of the solution not a part of the problem. Whenever you approach your boss, get to the point, find a way to communicate a 10 minute discussion into a five minute one. Ask questions when you don’t understand something and never assume you know-it-all when you don’t. When the time comes to meet with your boss about a concern, provide him or her with appealing visuals if you know this person likes them and also to help you illustrate your point, but if you don’t know whether your boss likes pie charts over statistics and you aren’t quite clear on the subject matter you are attempting to present then you are setting yourself up to be the next victim.
Hot tempered bosses could care less about what others think. They aren’t usually the likeable type, they usually don’t have many friends, and they don’t really like people but tolerate them because they need a paycheck. Don’t expect an angry boss to hand hold, micro manage, or spend a lot of time repeating his or her instructions, difficult bosses prefer fast learners who make them look good, and are readily available when they call – simply put a good slave!
Nicholl McGuire
Thursday
Tricks Employees Will Use With Managers
Ever wanted to know whether an employee was lying to you about needing some time off for personal reasons, but they were really looking for time off to interview? Have you ever questioned what happened to some missing office supplies and had a feeling that your favorite employee really took them? The following tips will help you determine what kind of employee you really hired and what you need to do to get them to fly right or get out! Each employee has been categorized based on the concerns you may have had with him or her.
Mr. Time Off
He just came back from vacation and will be taking off again. He seems to spend more time away from work then at work. Then when he is at work he isn’t getting much done. You will need to find out if he has any hidden agendas. Too much time off in a span of thirty days spells trouble, particularly if he doesn’t have the accumulated time to take off. Think about whether he had shared any information with you about his personal life leading up to this need for time off. When is his wife expecting? Would his grandma need special treatment? Does his child need surgery? Also, consider how he reacted to any recent evaluations or warnings you may have given him. When you are ready to speak with him, don’t make any assumptions. Let him do the talking. If you can accommodate his schedule, provide him with more money, or work with him in other ways. Be prepared to do it, if you plan to keep him.
Mr. Closet Thief
Someone is in the supply closet again. It seems that Mr. Closet Thief has been in the supplies more often since the recent shipment arrived. Every month he has a request for what seems to be the same supplies, but you have noticed that they are nowhere in his office after he receives them. Could those CDs he requests really be used to burn music? Is any of his tasks requiring him to use DVDs? What about those expensive pens, is he really going to a lot of business events that he needs that many? Where are all the ink cartridges going if he doesn’t send mass mailings out, print memos, etc.? The paper goes fast too, he is frequently in the copy room an employee tells you. The extra gifts from the last company event where are they being stored and does he have the only key? Need I say more?
Ms. Know-It-All
She doesn’t allow you to get to your desk before she tells you about everything that has went wrong today. For every solution you have to her concerns, she has several reasons as to why that just won’t work. She is an eloquent speaker, hard worker and too smart for her own good, but she just doesn’t know how to shut up long enough to consider what you are saying. Here’s what you need to do. Let her know before she comes into the office bothering you, what you need to do first before you can sit down and chat with her. Tell her when you are available to discuss her concerns, if she hasn’t written them in a memo, tell her to write them down with possible solutions and submit them to you for review. Once you have reviewed her concerns, respond in writing to each one. Call a meeting with her to discuss, but let her know in advance how long the meeting will be and remind her about your other obligations. Any concerns that she can complete without you let her know what she needs to do to get those tasks completed. She will most likely come up with more concerns during the meeting; however, don’t bother with the new concerns at that time. Make notes and reassure her that when she has done what you ask, those other issues will be addressed. If you find that she is not completing what you request, missing deadlines, making up excuses, etc. provide her with a verbal and written warning. This will humble her if she really needs the job. However, if she has given you any indication that she doesn’t really need the job, be prepared to get a replacement.
Mr. Lazy
You have asked him over and over again to submit his monthly report and for some reason he just never seems to give it you when you need it or he simply doesn’t do it at all. He will make up a million reasons as to why he just can’t seem to get it done. Mr. Lazy also has a problem with getting to work on time and he has many reasons for his tardiness too. He will need a serious wake up call. The scenario between you and he will play out like this: Find out what he will need to put aside to get the work done. He may need someone to take over one of his responsibilities (but then again don’t jump to this conclusion without interviewing some of his co-workers, remember he is lazy and could be making up excuses.) Use every disciplinary action available to you, following company protocol. Ask him how important is his job to him? Give him an option he can either begin to give you what you need by deadline, come to work on time, etc. or face possible termination (put your plan of action in writing.) He will have X amount of time to do it, if for some reason, he still can’t seem to follow through, then dismiss him. No second, third, fourth or more chances. You will lose respect not only with him, but everyone else on your team. Then you will find that people who weren’t usually late or submitted work on time will become nonchalant. They will always remember how you gave Mr. Lazy so many chances.
Ms. Busybody
You have noticed that every new person you have hired Ms. Busybody is ready to welcome them with all the latest company gossip. You know what her personality is like because she has brought quite a bit of news to you. However, she isn’t to be trusted so here’s what you can do to “shake her up.” Be forward with Ms. Busybody. She knows what she is doing and she will feel very embarrassed and fearful that she may lose her job when confronted on stories she is spreading. Remind her that people have been fired over gossip. Tell her that you don’t approve of certain conversations. Make it clear to your new employees what you will not tolerate, without naming her, and ask them to see you about any matter they have in question.
Ms. Cover-up
She makes mistakes and she knows it. However, she doesn’t want anyone else to know it. You confront her tell her about an error you found and she is ready to blame it on someone else. Ms. Cover-up usually has an extensive history on this type of behavior. It most likely started when she was a child blaming her siblings for everything she has done to avoid discipline. Now she is an adult and continues to do the same thing. She may say things like, “I didn’t do that, the customer was irate. I didn’t follow up because I thought it was already taken care of.” You can fix this by making her accountable. When it comes to a situation where she is ready to blame someone, have evidence available that shuts down her accusations. Make it present before everyone, since she doesn’t mind bringing people’s names up behind their backs. Expose her repeatedly on her blame and she will eventually learn to take responsibility for her actions.
Mr. Con man
He is always looking for an opportunity to move up in the company, make more money, land a date or any thing else that will make him feel and look good. Watch out for his requests to work overtime. Then when you deny him, he will find an opportunity to stay late anyway so you have to pay him. “I had to stay late because XYZ needed fix.” He will make a situation look worst then it seems. He may also be interested in an available position that he may or may not be qualified for, he will have many reasons as to why he is more qualified while talking negatively about each one of his co-workers. Mr. Con man also enjoys conversing with the opposite sex. He will use any lag time in his workday to socialize with them. Don’t ignore those complaints women (or men) make about him “always coming around.” Keep a journal of dates and times when people have complained. In time he will usually do something dumb enough to get his self fired.
Once you have determined which kind of problem employee you may have, you will have to be sure that you not only meet with them, but follow up with whatever you have decided to circumvent their negative behavior. If you meet with your employee and do not provide a deadline for them to meet any of the goals you may have set for them to accomplish, and provided no consequences for their actions, then expect them to continue to act irresponsibly until you have no choice but to fire them. Hopefully, the other employees who have noticed how you have handled the situation with the problem employee will not resort to the same tactics. If so, it’s because they have learned that you do not handle matters immediately nor effectively and you may have to make some examples of a few more employees to correct your ineffective practices from the past.
By Nicholl McGuire
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