Help! I Hate My Boss

Getting Along with the Boss: Build the Relationship at Work that Matters Most to Your Career

Find me someone who has ever held a job, and I'll find you someone who's hated his boss. Call it karma, feng shui, or just the way of the world, but everyone seems to have had a boss they've disliked. Really disliked. Even bosses have hated their bosses.

Why the hate? For starters, as you've read thus far, the little things can get in the way of love. I, for one, find it hard to love the boss who clips his toenails in his office, as was the case with boss #3. Call me crazy, but I still harbor the slightest bit of ill will for the supervisor who returned a draft of a memo I had been working on with "I don't get this" written in large, red letters across the top.

Despite these cruel injustices, it doesn't serve me - or you, dear reader - very well to sit around, be cranky, and stew in our own juices. Hopefully, you're working with a manager or supervisor who is enlightened and a joy to be around, or maybe your boss is less than perfect. Perhaps you don't have a boss yet, but want to make sure you start off on the right foot when you do. Whatever the case, this is going to be one of the most important work relationships you'll have, and you'll want to do everything you can to make this relationship work. It doesn't mean you two have to be best friends, but like it or not, your boss holds the keys to your career, at least for the time being. Unless you want to ride shotgun for the rest of the ride, you're going to want to figure out how to love the one you're with.

The Micromanager

How to Spot Him: It's not tough. He's the guy breathing down your neck, looking over your shoulder, and calling you every three minutes to check on how things are progressing with the report you're working on. Micromanagers have a hard time giving up control and have you on a very short leash. Plus, they drive you completely nuts.

How to Manage the Micromanager: Consider his perspective - as your manager, his butt is on the line with everything you do. When you screw up, it's more work for him, and he isn't sure he can trust you to get things right. Perhaps he was burned in the past by a former employee and just isn't willing to take chances on letting you work solo. Or, maybe he's a control freak who won't let go, or thinks nobody can do the job but him.

Try this: Think of your micromanager as a strict, overprotective mom who worries about everything, and who feels much better when she knows exactly what is going on at all times. Send daily updates, weekly reports, detailed voice mails - whatever it takes to keep her very, very informed. If you smell the faintest whiff of a problem in the air, let your micromanager know immediately. As Equity Methods CEO David Roberts (who is certainly not a micromanager) puts it: "Never let a bump in the road become a pothole. Keep me informed."

If you want your micromanager to give you more independence, start with something small to test the waters. Show the micromanager the benefits of giving you some space and managing you less - for instance, they save time, gain productivity, and strengthen your skills and abilities in the process. And remember, trust is earned. Don't expect your boss to let you handle the presentation or the proposal on your own for a while. No boss, no matter how relaxed, is handing over the keys to the Porsche until he's darn sure that you can really drive.

The Absentee Boss

How to Spot Her: Good luck. If you happen to catch a glimpse of her in the office, she's either running out the door, to a meeting, or is buried in a conference call. You see her so seldom, you hardly remember what she looks like. Often, the Absentee Boss leaves you wondering what you're supposed to do and how you're supposed to get it done.

Manage the Absentee Boss: Why are some bosses so hard to get a hold of? For the absentee boss, her disappearing act might be explained by the fact that she's being pulled in too many directions and doesn't have time for you right now. Or, let's face it, some managers simply don't want the job or responsibilities that come with managing someone, and it could be that she prefers handling the tasks of her job rather than managing you. Whatever the reason, that's little comfort to those of us who would actually like to see our boss once in a while, if only so they can see all of the great work we're actually doing.

Try this: First, try like heck to get your boss to agree to a weekly meeting. Even he'll only give you five minutes, force him to put something on his calendar each and every week (or more) that is exclusively time for you. Don't let him off the hook here -make sure you get a regular standing 'date' with him, so that even if he's pulling a disappearing act the rest of the week, you know you'll have your regularly scheduled meeting to ask questions, get him to sign off on stuff, etc. Once you've got your meeting, run it like a tight ship - be extremely prepared, keep your points short, sweet, and concise. If you aren't prepared or waste time, it will be that much harder for you to get his attention the next time you need it.

The Slave Driver

How to Spot Him: Easy - he's the boss who likes to schedule meetings on a Saturday afternoon, who wants to review your memo at 7:00 am on a Monday morning, and doesn't seem to bat an eye about calling you on your vacation to discuss an upcoming project. Hard working?

Sure, but the Slave Driver takes it to a scary new level, where it seems there is little else that matters more to him than work - and you're expected to follow suit.

Manage the Slave Driver: Managing the Slave Driver is tricky - after all, if he is your boss, you can't very well say no to the early meetings, the Saturday work sessions, or anything else for that matter, can you? The answer is... maybe.

How to know? Start by taking a look around the office: Do you work in a company that celebrates a 'work hard/Type A personality' type of culture? Have you noticed that many of your colleagues work weekends, come in early, or stay late? If that's the case, accept the fact that you're part of a company or industry where working long hours is par for the course and your Slave Driver boss is simply one of many around the office. On the other hand, if you and your boss usually the only ones burning the midnight oil, you may have some room to negotiate.

Try this: If you've truly got a Slave Driver on your hands, your owe it to yourself to take a stand. Numerous studies of workplace life and stress management show how working around the clock results in less productivity, higher rates of absenteeism and illness, and, ultimately, burnout on the job. The bottom line: Your mind, body, and spirit need breaks from time to time. Don't feel guilty about taking them.

Still, tread very, very carefully when telling your boss 'no' in any way, shape, or form. Even if your boss is being unreasonable, you're still the new kid on the block, and the last thing you want to do is gain the reputation of being unreliable, lazy, or not holding up your end of things.

In the Final Analysis

If there's one thing to remember when it comes to your boss, it's that it's up to you to make the most of your situation, even if your boss is Cruella DeVille in disguise. No matter how lousy your boss is (and I sincerely hope this isn't the case), it isn't an excuse for being lousy on the job. Instead, remember that bosses come and go throughout a career, and this is simply a small bump in the road. When the boss chips are down, resolve to focus more than ever on results and deliverables, and do the good work you were hired to do. And if it doesn't work out perfectly - or at all - don't worry too much. You've probably learned a few things along the way (even if it's what not to do as a boss!) and you're better armed, better prepared, and better able to handle the next one that comes along.

Elizabeth Freedman is an expert in career and workplace issues. She is the author of Work 101: Learning the Ropes of the Workplace without Hanging Yourself and The MBA Student's Job-Seeking Bible, and was a 2005 finalist for College Speaker of the Year, awarded by the Association for the Promotion of Campus Activities. Elizabeth runs a Boston-based career-development and coaching firm; clients include PricewaterhouseCoopers, Thomson Reuters and The Gillette Company.

Workplace Stress Trap - I Hate Work Meetings Because I Look So Dumb

How much time do you spend in meetings at work? Far too much time is the usual response. But what if you are hopeless in meetings but good at your desk and other work? What if you feel you look dumb all the time at meetings? Is this a workplace stress trap that has caught you up? If so, let's think about how often this happens and how you can deal with it.

The first reality is that most people get frustrated in meetings. The agenda seems too long; there is very little specific purpose to the meetings; there are few positive outcomes; and there are too many people sitting there. I often look around at meetings and calculate the per hour cost of the meeting. Let us imagine that there are 12 people meeting where the average cost of salary plus benefits is probably $80 per person per hour then you have a meeting that is costing nearly $1000 per hour. You would expect a lot of outcomes from this investment.

Another issue with meetings is the social dynamic that plays out. The well-known cognitive psychologist Edward de Bono says that meetings involve a lot of payback and inter-personal pressure. A person proposes a motion and then immediately makes eye contact with colleagues to gather support for that idea and motion. A sense of loyalty requires the colleague to support the motion because the person deserves support. So the value of the motion is less important than the interpersonal support. De Bono says that the most efficient meetings to cut down on the social dynamic is to either meet in a completely dark room or have all the chairs facing out from the table so that people cannot see each other. For a lot of people, this meeting social dynamic and interaction can be extremely stressful. For others, it is the hierarchical and competitive dynamic that makes them feel inadequate and dumb and adds to meeting stress; that is, looking silly in front of supervisors and bosses.

How to Escape the Stress of Meetings

If you feel dumb at every meeting you attend you have to ask the question:"Did I prepare adequately for this meeting?" Some people float into a meeting without the background reading and preparation. They are constantly trying to play catch-up because they did not get across the issues from the last meeting, failed to do the required reading, did not have follow-up discussions with other team members, and generally treated the meeting as though it was an obligation not an opportunity. So the first way to overcome the workplace stress trap of feeling dumb at meetings is to become informed.

But some people feel inadequate generally and try to compensate for their inadequacy by talking excessively and unnecessarily. A good motto is 'God gave me two ears and one mouth so that I would listen twice as much as I talked.' This is very good advice for meeting novices. Listen carefully, take notes so that you're well organized, only speak if you have something important to contribute, and be brief. Try not to speak more than a few times per meeting so that your colleagues will expect that what you have to say is worthwhile. And they will listen. In this way, you will no longer feel dumb.

From a psychological point of view, the reality is that most of us are anxious about our performance. We tend to be more negative and self-critical than positive and self-supportive. This negative self talk increases stress and anxiety and reduces our ability to relieve stress and tension. If we add to this the workplace stress trap of not feeling competent at meetings a sense of anticipatory anxiety and reduced feelings of competence and self-efficacy, we compound our feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty. The sounds like a lot of jargon but the reality is that if you want to avoid the stress of being dumb at meetings be well-prepared, be prudent and thoughtful in what you say, and believe in yourself.

Dr Jeff, a psychologist, writes about workplace stress, personal stress, interpersonal stress, and how to manage stress. On his blog, http://www.drjeffbailey.com, he answers questions from readers. He works hard to make his articles practical and helpful and all of his articles are based on sound research evidence and extensive clinical experience. Please go to his Dr Jeff blog to get your free report on stress.

Staff Productivity Plus Great Culture Equals Effective Workplace

Once you have these great people, there is a true art to keeping them productive and happy, and that art is known as “creating a culture”. While it may not sound hard, creating and maintaining a culture that meets all the requirements for all of your employees can be a balancing act to say the least! Here are some ways to build a great office culture and to keep employees happy in their job.

Office Surroundings

There aren’t many people that enjoy going to work in a pokey, dark office! That’s why the office culture starts with the surroundings in which you put your staff. When choosing an office space, look for a location with plenty of windows, large break out areas for staff to have lunch in and good heating and cooling. These things may all sound like standards, but you would be surprised! Many business owners will look for places that are low on extra space (to save money) and rarely think about the positive impact that natural light can have on their staff, never mind a good heater and air conditioner.

There are a range of options when it comes to livening up your office. Bright paintings, colourful furniture or cushions, or even funky office stationery will improve morale and lift everyone’s spirits.

Plants have also been shown to increase productivity levels in staff, decrease stress and provide an all round more positive environment in an office situation.

Team Building and Office Perks

Many people are now sold on a job, not by the remuneration they are offered, but the perks the company provides. Simple things like buying a coffee machine, keeping a stock of drinks in the fridge or a Friday afternoon off in the summer months every now and then all helps to make a business a more enticing place to come and work each day. These initiatives may only cost the business a small amount of money, but will have a huge impact on team productivity and happiness.

Team building exercises don’t need to be weekends away or huge off-site extravaganzas. Something as simple as getting a table tennis table in the office to encourage staff interaction, or even ten pin bowling once a month can do wonders for building a strong and supportive team.

By: Ralph Garofano

Career Women: Regulate Your Menstruation With Menstrulax

Every woman irrespective of race and culture has to undergo menstrual cycle once a month until menopause. During the menstrual cycle, all women suffer from various symptoms and pain. A healthy woman will have menses once in 28-30 days. However, many women suffer form irregular menses that cause various problems. You will not be able to give birth to a healthy child if you have problem in your menstrual cycle. Irregular problem with the menstrual cycle is often associated with hormones in the body. Many women prefer to take hormone medicines to regulate the menses cycle. Sometimes, this may lead to several other problems in the body. Apart from irregular periods, women may suffer from excessive or poor bleeding during their period. Menstrulax is an excellent herbal remedy for all menstrual problems.

Menstrulax contains 100% motherwort extracts. This herb has been used in Chinese medicine for many years to cure women problems. This herb relaxes the smooth muscles and hence, it can be effectively used as a medicine to treat irregular periods. The studies show that when the extract of this herb is given during labor, possibilities of hemorrhage are reduced. This herb prevents the uterine infections and it acts as a uterine tonic. The ancient treatments used this herb as an effective medicine for menstrual and menopause problems.

Many women suffer from anxiety and stress during their periods. This is very natural as there will be drastic changes with the hormone levels in the body. Motherwort contained in Menstrulax acts on nervous system and induces passivity. The working women face great problems in their workplace during their menses as they lose their temper very easily during their periods. By taking Menstrulax pills everyday you can stabilize the hormone levels in your body in a natural way and stay calm during your periods.

Erratic menstrual flow is a common problem that is experienced by almost every woman. When the blood flow is heavy, you will have lower energy levels because of the loss of blood. Lower discharge means that there are some problems with the uterus. Motherwort contained in Menstrulax is capable of stabilizing menstrual flow. Thus, you will not experience heavy or less blood flow during your menses when you take this capsule. Since optimal levels are maintained, you do not have to worry about loss of excess energy.

The heart conditions are stabilized by the extracts of motherwort. Palpitation is a common problem that is experienced by many women during their menses. This arises because of increased stress as well as hormonal changes. The increased heart rate resulting in palpitation should be controlled and this job is perfectly done by Menstrulax.

Unlike hormonal treatments, Menstrulax contains 100% natural extraverts from naturally cultivated motherwort and it does not cause any harm to the body. However, you have to avoid taking these pills during your pregnancy. There are no side effects with the pure natural extracts. You can take two capsules of Menstrulax every day to stabilize your menstrual cycle and stick to your regular schedule without worrying about your periods.

By: Jingyu bai

Herbalspan specialises in traditional Chinese Herbal Medicine and herbalspan stocks whole range of chinese herbs and herbal products.

Causes Of Domestic Violence And Its Impact In The Workplace

There are many causes of domestic violence, and situations range across all socioeconomic levels and backgrounds. It may seem that an abused woman’s place of work may be a relief or an escape for them; unfortunately, abusers can further victimize their partner, even while they are at work. Victims are vulnerable because their abusers know where and when they go to work, as well as their phone number and e-mail address. Domestic violence offenders have been known to visit their partner’s place of business in an attempt to harm or harass them. Victims cannot escape, because their jobs are necessary to their financial survival and their only hope for independence.

Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, or psychological battering; all of which are devastating. Many times one suffers from more than one of these types of abuse from their partners. The causes of domestic violence have been studied, and typically, abuse escalates and intensifies over time. It has been found that 74% of women who are abused in the home experience continued abuse at their place of work. Abusers can use workplace property to stalk and threaten their victims. Not only is this a dangerous situation for the victim, but it creates a dangerous environment for co-workers with a violent individual wanting to do harm in their midst.

There are things that employers can and should do to help. They can have policies in place to help protect victims from abuse, and have specific guidelines allowing co-workers to recognize the signs of abuse to let them know how to help. If resources are made available, someone who may be hesitant to ask for help will know what to do. There are outside help and support groups, and employee assistance programs can be initiated. A domestic violence policy should be a part of an employer’s guidelines to encourage open communication, and to guide supervisors for proper procedures when there is an employee recognized as a victim.

Practical strategies can be implemented to protect a victim in the workplace including having a secure work environment, offering schedule flexibility to a victim, or changing their work location. An employer can also be supportive by providing escorts or having a ‘buddy system’ for accompanying individuals to their cars or transportation home. Security personnel or receptionists can be provided with photographs of the abuser to allow screening and protection for the victim. Telephone and e-mail screening, or the changing of phone numbers or e-mail addresses can also help avoid harassment.

The emotional support from an employer is a critical element for a victim because they know that they can get help. In addition, the practical policies at a place of business can look after a victim daily, allowing them every possible chance to maintain their job and be safe while they are at work. The causes of domestic violence may not be prevented, but by providing a safe and accommodating environment for an employee, an employer offers a productive and safe work situation.

Grace Enderlein is a freelance writer and editor.“Causes of Domestic Violence and its Impact in the Workplace” notes the continued abuse for domestic abuse victims in their place of business, and what employers can do to help.We also provide help against sex trafficking of women and girls and strives for the prevention and awareness of the causes of domestic violence with their programs.