Funny Things That Happen at Work

1.  Female co-worker comes over with a bright smile, talking about a little bit of everything--family, faith, but not farts!  She is having a laughing fit about something I said and then when I least expected, she went off about her business after leaving behind a comment from her butt.  She gave my cubicle a silent, but deadly--ugh!

2.  Male co-worker talking and talking.  The smell seems to be traveling closer and closer to my nostrils.  "When is it a good time to offer him a mint, gum, a cup of Listerine...!" I'm thinking all of these things while he is talking about...I don't know.  Good God, am I still at work?

3.  So the boss burps--a weird noise that sounds like a kid making strange noises from the back of his throat--without saying excuse me (as if a room full of eye balls doesn't notice). Meanwhile Mr. Play By The Rulebook is trying to act very serious and focused during a meeting.  Forget about it, nasty!  We all laugh at him.  Now that is what I call a meeting!

4.  Short skirts, leave them at home ladies!  Young woman was giving a guy, in a boring marriage, some flashbacks of the good ole' days when things were much different before his wife's pregnancy.  Shame on you Jezebel!

5.  Workman doesn't feel the cool breeze from the air conditioner as he showcases a peekaboo moment from his backside.  For God sake, cover yourself up man!

6.  Is her shirt too tight?  I repeat, is her shirt too tight?

7.  What the?  Who the?  What made her do that to her hair?

8.  I would love to focus on my instructions boss, but your heavy breathing is really distracting.  Do you really need another doughnut?

9.  If I knew your wife's phone number, I would tell her how much time you visit that young woman in the next cubicle.

10.  If I were your husband, I would stand at the window of your workplace with my nose smashed to the window and my eyes wide open waiting for you to stop laughing and talking to XYZ when you are supposedly working late.

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