Poor Excuses, Poor Leaders Can Break Workplace Relationships

The reason I couldn't get this done was because...

I apologize but I couldn't...

You should have seen the traffic...sorry I couldn't...

I really wish I could....

You see, what had happened was...

I was unable to get that completed due to....

We have all heard the valid excuses as well as the invalid ones.  What were the solutions that the worker came up with to get the project done?  What decision had been reached?  Did things eventually run smoothly?  Was the excuse a valid one and what efforts are being made to resolve the issue?

Nothing is ever resolved with the poor excuse maker unless you jump right in and do some things yourself!  He or she doesn't know how to come up with a plan.  The excuse maker either doesn't know how to problem solve or doesn't want to.  Excuses show up in full force when an employee is unhappy, unreasonable, difficult, or simply lazy.  We don't always know what is occurring emotionally and/or physically with a worker until he or she is tested.

A once great working relationship goes up in flames when a person cares more about self rather than the collective especially during a time when he or she is needed the most.  Managers, supervisors, co-workers and others begin to formulate their personal opinions.  They assume the worse, "He is unreliable...she is untrustworthy...They are lazy!"  Too many excuses and heads begin to roll.

The one who is listening to the excuse whether valid or invalid can be a poor listener.  Not only is the workplace challenge eating up a lot of time and money, but now the one who simply jumps to conclusions and falsely assumes someone is a liar, lazy or something else isn't handling the problem either.  Throwing words at a situation without action won't make the problem go away!  Asking one's self, "How can I resolve the issue?" is better than saying, "What the?  Who the f&ck is responsible?  That son of a...!"  Where is your plan, Leader?

Sometimes excuses show up because there wasn't any contingency plan from the start!  In the event, this happens, what should we do?  What are the tools we can identify to solve this problem?  How many hands do we need on deck?  How much will this cost us?  What requirements can we put in place that won't push people into wanting to cover for themselves?

Excuses are also covers for what is really wrong with a workplace relationship that appeared like it was good at one point when it really wasn't ever.  For instance, an employee may not want to assist another employee because they don't like who they work for, may be fearful of ramifications or being taken advantage of, or may also be looking elsewhere for employment.  Workers begin to stop putting their best foot forward when they feel the following:  a lack of respect, overworked, manipulated, or abused.  The frequent excuse such as:  "I couldn't come to work because..." may not always be an issue going on at home, but how about someone who simply fell out of love with the job.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of What Else Can I Do on the Internet and this blog owner.

When a Loved One Doesn't Like to Work

Relatives close to the one who doesn't like his or her job or worse doesn't want to work five or six days a week, tend to be mistreated and disrespected.  These difficult men and women rarely smile, prefer to spend much time alone, easily irritated, most often miserable, and don't want to talk much or not at all on most days.  Children are encouraged to go to their rooms.  Wives are quickly shut down when they want to communicate.  Husbands are ignored.

No matter what you might ask the unhappy one, "I'm fine, everything is okay.  Why are you asking me that?  Nothing is wrong with me..."  Sure.  We must remember that many workers, who were once lazy children, didn't necessarily let go of their rebellion toward work especially if they grew up around strict parents.  As children, when they didn't step it up at home, they were called, "Lazy!  Good for nothing!  You better help or else!"  So it isn't any wonder why these workers have a negative attitude toward employment.

People who don't like their jobs or don't want to work at all can't stay in hiding for long!  Potential candidates will initially respond positively to being up for a "challenge" during an interview.  However, the truth comes out once they are hired.  We notice the following:  they are frequently late for work, delegate most or even all responsibilities to others, often request time off, avoid any customer service confrontations, and the list goes on!

Relatives catch hell when these poor performers are held accountable by their managers for their sub-par work ethic, lack of enthusiasm, and downright laziness.  On the way home, the tension of the day is building.  They will never tell the full story about what really happened at work.  Rather than be honest with themselves and others, they prefer to lash out on anyone who asks, "How was your day?"

Children are not parented effectively and nor are marriages nurtured by selfish, lazy people who not only don't like to work a job, but don't like to help build their households either.  Their lack of performance is not restricted to just a job.  They choose roles out of necessity.  They simply need money while they don't put too much thought in how their negative attitude about working might affect their loved ones, friends, coworkers, managers, and others in the short or long term.

Anyone who notices a relative or friend often acting mean-spirited without any explanation, but it seems that the mood is connected to work, you can attempt to get the individual to talk.  However, if they refuse to be open and rather ignore you, well then you have a right to distance yourself from the negative worker!

Don't be surprised if one day they lose their job or quit.  Save your money and pay off debt if you rely on this person, it's only a matter of time.

Nicholl McGuire

Your Selfish CoWorkers

The Judgments They Form Against You

Quitting the Job When You're Really Supposed to End a Relationship

Why would any woman or man in a relationship riddled with lies, emotional abuse, and other ugly things want to quit a job?  Wouldn’t he or she need money especially if the relationship is coming to a slow end?  For some heartbroken couples, it is easier for them to cope by creating distractions rather than addressing issues.  Blaming the job causes them to focus on something other than the spouse or partner who really needs to go!

Being in an unsatisfying relationship will make you think that issues you are faced with are really not at home especially when a partner is repeatedly suggesting it is your job that is keeping you stressed.  
Maybe it is the partner’s spending habits, the extracurricular activities he/she or children are involved in that they desire your participation, or the fact a partner simply doesn’t like you working around women and/or men.  Quit enough jobs in a short period of time and you will soon discover that your workplace isn't the problem, but the issues a possibly jealous, argumentative or controlling partner has placed upon you.

Here's why some people do the unthinkable, like suddenly quit a job, while maintaining a miserable relationship:

1.  They have convinced themselves that things will get better in the relationship if they didn’t have to deal with difficult people at work.  Although this might be true in some cases, this may not be an accurate perspective when the partner is the one who is blaming the job and putting you up to quitting it for selfish reasons.

2.  Moving on to a better opportunity while promising a troubled mate how much better life will be is a good excuse not to deal with chronic relationship problems.  You are buying time, because you aren’t ready to call it quits.  If a partner is thinking about leaving, he or she might change his or her mind in order to reap some benefits such as: a new house, monetary gifts, relocation to a desired state, family planning, getting out of debt, etc.—all the things that an increase in income might bring.

3.  A spouse, family member or friend may have advised that it might be in your best interest emotionally and/or legally to take on a job that pays less money and requires less responsibilities.  However, once again, consider how involved others are in choosing your new career path?  Once again, are you avoiding relationship difficulties by distracting yourself with a new job search?

4.  The person assumes that is what a partner might want is to quit the job, because he or she often complained about it. When in all actuality, he or she just can’t manage anymore both job and relationship challenges.

5.  The controlling partner redirects the blame on his or herself for causing certain relationship problems on to your job.  He or she is never at fault.  “Why don’t you look for another job, Honey.  You know how you can be when you come home from work.”  Maybe the one, who will soon be unemployed, simply wants to come home to no one. 

Consider all factors before ending a job especially if it is one that you personally like.  Sure, it has its share of challenges, what job doesn’t?  Your personal life may be hindering you from being a success—don’t let it!

Nicholl McGuire is the owner of this blog and the author of WhatElse Can I Do on the Internet? She also owns and contributes to a blog entitled, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.