Give yourself a time out. Take a deep breath and recite the following, "I will not get emotionally involved in someone's issues." An effective manager doesn't hide out in his office to get away from troubled workers, but he or she doesn't become emotionally tied to them either.
Sally comes into the office with tears in her eyes.
Jim yells loudly and knocks off a few things on a desk.
Janet pushes people on the way to the exit door.
Bill is angered and vengeful with others again because he just can't seem to do his job well.
Do we go off on these people and fight just because they are in one? Do we sit down and talk with them in the heat of battle? Do we reason away their emotional outbursts or act as if they never happened? Do we run off and hope that they can't find us?
Leaders whether you hold a title or not, don't do any of the above. You may have been tempted and may have done some of what is mentioned, but forgive yourself. Allow positive self-talk to usher you toward change. Consider what your peers are saying, but keep your spirit free from the burdens by releasing them to your God or find something you can do so that you will not be overwhelmed with so much stuff!
Workplace issues don't ever go away completely, some are there until the company or department comes to an end. You might have thought that you were doing so well showing compassion toward so many people who approached you, but what we positive types or do-good folks learn in the end is that if you get too wrapped up into what others are feeling, you will surely burn out.
Consider the following:
1. Don't allow yourself to be consumed with many personal stories from workers. Seek a plan of escape from unproductive conversation like "Things are getting busy now...I will have to go, but thanks for sharing."
2. Don't make promises you can't keep. If you know that it isn't in your power to get something done, say so.
3. Avoid the drama by staying out of it. When you hear that something is happening in a certain room, department, or somewhere else and it isn't considered anything worth escalating, stay away from that place and those who are a part of the drama. Of course, you can see things for yourself, but once you know the truth--keep away.
4. Let your genius come forth with those who appreciate your work, but protect your passion/heart with both positive and negative individuals. You can't afford to fall apart at work just because an idea/suggestion or something else you came up with was rejected. If at first you don't succeed...you know the rest.
5. You can't control what others think/feel about you and don't even try! Actions speak louder than words anyway and those who formulate personal false assumptions about you will sooner or later look rather stupid when they say something negative about you. Win over those who matter!
Reserve the sentimental feelings and personal touch for those at home. Work is just what it is...be understanding, but no fool. There are many actors and actresses out there.
Nicholl McGuire
