For those of you who have a faith in the workplace, Nicholl, writer and manager of this blog, has created a new blog Face Your Foe. Although in it's infancy, this blog and future book is written from a spiritual perspective with tips on facing certain enemies like the liar, pervert, etc. anywhere.
We know that every smiling face at the workplace doesn't like Christ followers much less are interested in what they have to say. So do stop on over at Face Your Foe and put some useful information into practice to help you solve your workplace dilemmas. You do have a fellow believer who cares!
God talk is always welcome! Enjoy.
Saturday
Thursday
Positivity Has Its Place
Being positive is a great attribute to
have when it comes to discussing issues at the workplace. When a situation comes up, “looking on the bright side of
things” is one of those catch phrases that is intended to encourage
someone, but unfortunately for many, they say it to look good before others even
when this advice doesn't always work or has little relevance to what
is going on at the workplace.
One can be positive and be a fool too.
A positive fool is that one who sees there is an ongoing fire at
a friend's home. The poor friend is crying about losing everything, and
before her tears are dried up, the optimist says something like, “Well,
at least you and your family weren't there in the house when the fire started. Don't worry, you will get your stuff back.” That isn't a very truthful or encouraging statement. Family photos, keepsakes, and other valuables are lost forever--you can't get them back!There is a time and a
place for everything. Being grateful for one's life is a good thing,
but a statement like, “Here's a check to help you with your
tragedy” sounds far better!
Sometimes positive statements are just
used for selfish reasons at a workplace setting. Some employees use them to get out of speaking truth
and to avoid adding details to a story or personal opinion. A
positive phrase can be used as an escape out of a situation someone
doesn't want to be in or is fearful of where the conversation might
lead. For instance, you are asking someone a question about specific
work events and he or she responds with, “All is well.”
That doesn't say what anyone did, said, how much was done...it only
communicates “no problems.” But then later, one's positive comment becomes more than meets the
eye, the worker says, “Oh, that's right I forgot to tell you
about...and I didn't do...I got someone else to do that...well, yes
there was that issue...it wasn't that bad.” Really?!
Workers will hide behind their positive
phrases when they are doing the following: running from a situation
that might make them feel uncomfortable, lack confidence in what they
are doing, or are worried that what they say might be repeated to
others. When one is honest with no worries, confident that things
are managed well, and has nothing to hide, why avoid details when
asked open-ended questions or why use feel-good phrases just because
one doesn't feel like talking about a situation? Maybe you can get a
way with such a strategy at home, but at work, different story.
When a leader is looking for open
communication with details as to why something has or hasn't
occurred, he or she doesn't want a response like, “Well, some
people did what was asked, and others didn't, but there were no
problems. That's just how things are. But we got things done. We
can look at the glass half full or half empty in this situation.”
What!? The manager is going to want to know, “Why were some people
working and others were not?” The following is another fictional
example except this person didn't bother to ask any questions about a
challenge before blurting out something about being positive, “Well,
people do things we don't like. I mean I didn't hear everything
about what happened. I don't even know her personally. But I would
like to think she meant nothing by her action. Oh, just try to be
positive.” Meanwhile, the person is ignorant of the person and the
details, but advises one to be positive. Huh!? It isn't any wonder
why some so-called optimists end up overlooked for promotions, job
offers, can't keep good relations with staff, etc. They don't know how to express positivity in such a way
that will help them and others.
One should avoid saying too much of anything, including advising, when
you don't know the facts. Sometimes all a speaker wants is a
listening ear. A wise person would listen for the lesson in the
conversation that might be beneficial to her or him. In the example,
the listener should have been telling his or herself while listening to the concern, “If I ever encounter
this person that supposedly gave her a hard time, I will watch what I
say” instead of assuming that one's intentions might be positive.
If so, why were there issues in the first place?
Never assume anything about anyone's
intentions especially when you haven't personally had an encounter
with them or don't know them or details. From parents to CEOs, people have
their reasons for why they do or don't do. Better to be quiet than
to carelessly say something without doing a thorough investigation on
a matter.
Positivity has its place. As crazy as
it seems, it can also be used as a weapon. If I refuse to say
anything negative, even when there are those moments where I need to
speak up and tell the truth about a situation, then I could be
fueling a fire. Some employees will refuse to help managers because
they are more concerned about friendships with co-workers, so when a
workplace challenge comes up, they rather stick with a list
of nice phrases for everyone involved while ignoring facts and how
their actions or in-actions might have contributed negatively to a
situation. For example, a nervous contractor responds to a manager's
question about a certain worker's frequent tardiness that has been
witnessed by others, “I wouldn't say that she is always late...I
mean she does stay late too...she's a good worker.” The individual
in question just so happens to be a very good friend of the
contractor. In another fictional example, a supervisor talks to a
worker about not being clear on a directive given to a group of
employees and he responds with, “Well, I told them that, I mean I
know what you told me to tell them, but I thought it would be better
if... besides everything turned out good.” Meanwhile, little does
the employee know that the supervisor's paperwork says otherwise and
things aren't “good.”
We can all go too far with all our
flattery, niceties, and optimistic outlook on this person, that issue
or that thing. There is always the story that one tells you and the
story that goes on behind closed doors. There is the face you see at
one's workplace and the one that he or she has away from work and it
isn't always “great, wonderful, friendly...”
In closing, consider the following advice when it comes to being positive.
- For every statement that makes one feel uncomfortable or has a negative tone to it, one should refrain from shooting everything down with positivity so as to protect one's reputation. Instead, speak truth, don't sugarcoat. Avoid offering your opinion unless asked.
- Before reaching an assumption that one, who is telling a story must “calm down, be nice, be good, look on the bright side...,” consider the speaker's point of view.
- Look beyond the scope of your personal experience.
- Ask questions first, save commentary or advice when the person is willing to receive.
- You can't build a quality relationship with anyone whether at work or at home if you choose to defend someone or something while using an assortment of feel-good statements. We must all keep in mind an old piece of wisdom, “Think, before you speak.”
Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and other blogs including one for apartment and home renters. She is a former property manager, former supervisor, and has held other leadership positions in the past in a variety of industries.
Wednesday
Irritable Male Syndrome and Menopause at Work Who Knew?
If hormones fluctuate at home, you best believe they swing at work (probably moreso)! Picture this, work leaders between the ages of 40 and 55, who rarely exercise or eat healthy, often complain about one issue or another, and have the patience of a spoiled child. "I was expecting that to be done! Who keeps taking my $%^* pen? What idiot keeps you on hold for 10 minutes to check something that is already in a database? Why is it so *&%$# hot in here?" Men and women both have issues during mid-life. From feeling like the world is great one minute to wanting to escape to an island the next, it isn't easy managing hormones at work.
People change as we all know. What you use to be able to handle in your youth, you can't once those hormones start to take a shift from one day to the next. Crowded areas use to be no problem, phone ringing all day you could handle it, and people's body odors, no big deal! But now!? For some, an empty stomach feels like you are going mad, ready to vomit over the slightest weird smell. Sweat beads show up on one's forehead out of nowhere while people are talking about how comfortable the room is. One is more sensitive to bad news and might even share a few too many tears over something. Then there is the constant reminders, the mind just doesn't retain information as well as it once did. Yes, the joys of midlife at work.
Sometimes there is a feeling of envy that comes over the individual who has worked at a company for years. He or she notices that new workers coming in are younger, sharper, and faster. There is either a desire to keep up with the pace, stay put, or go above and beyond while killing yourself in the process. The family wants to know why the long hours. The partner wants to know what's up with the sex life. The relatives want to know why they never see you anymore. Meanwhile, hormones say, "You will be in the mood later..." But later seems so few and far in between.
If this describes you, do something to harness those mood swings and body changes especially when fellow employees are noticing a different you every hour. Don't bother making excuses. Avoid the temptation to blame others. Take a good long look in the mirror during one of your breaks and do what you can to deal with your change of life.
Things you can do:
1. Take an online quiz about Irritable Male Syndrome (Andropause) for men and PMDD, Perimenopause or menopause for women.
2. Pay closer attention to how you react to your employees.
3. Watch what you are eating and drinking during meal and snack times. Too much of anything isn't good for you!
4. Check into herbal supplements, vitamins, and precription medicines to help you deal with symptoms.
5. Avoid blaming the weather, your partner, boss, co-workers, children, and whoever or whatever else because you are often annoyed, aren't functioning well in your personal or public relationships like you use to, and often have feelings of wanting to be left alone or being anywhere but on this planet.
6. Communicate issues with your doctor, counselor or someone else who seems like they have their health issues under control.
7. Do exercise, take up hobbies, and travel so that you aren't concentrating so much on how you feel, what others think about you, etc.
Resources worth checking out:
Male Menopause
http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/andropause-dealing-with-male-menopause.htm
Andropause Videos
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xsdtxg_andropause_news
http://men.webmd.com/video/male-menopause
Irritable Male Quiz
http://theirritablemale.com/quiz2.htm
Women Menopause
http://womenshealth.gov/menopause/
Menopause Video
http://videos.howstuffworks.com/health/menopause-videos-playlist.htm
PMDD Video
http://youtu.be/n2NfZbFHi8w
Perimenopause
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/perimenopause/DS00554/DSECTION=symptoms
PMDD
http://www.medicinenet.com/premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder_pmdd/article.htm
People change as we all know. What you use to be able to handle in your youth, you can't once those hormones start to take a shift from one day to the next. Crowded areas use to be no problem, phone ringing all day you could handle it, and people's body odors, no big deal! But now!? For some, an empty stomach feels like you are going mad, ready to vomit over the slightest weird smell. Sweat beads show up on one's forehead out of nowhere while people are talking about how comfortable the room is. One is more sensitive to bad news and might even share a few too many tears over something. Then there is the constant reminders, the mind just doesn't retain information as well as it once did. Yes, the joys of midlife at work.
Sometimes there is a feeling of envy that comes over the individual who has worked at a company for years. He or she notices that new workers coming in are younger, sharper, and faster. There is either a desire to keep up with the pace, stay put, or go above and beyond while killing yourself in the process. The family wants to know why the long hours. The partner wants to know what's up with the sex life. The relatives want to know why they never see you anymore. Meanwhile, hormones say, "You will be in the mood later..." But later seems so few and far in between.
If this describes you, do something to harness those mood swings and body changes especially when fellow employees are noticing a different you every hour. Don't bother making excuses. Avoid the temptation to blame others. Take a good long look in the mirror during one of your breaks and do what you can to deal with your change of life.
Things you can do:
1. Take an online quiz about Irritable Male Syndrome (Andropause) for men and PMDD, Perimenopause or menopause for women.
2. Pay closer attention to how you react to your employees.
3. Watch what you are eating and drinking during meal and snack times. Too much of anything isn't good for you!
4. Check into herbal supplements, vitamins, and precription medicines to help you deal with symptoms.
5. Avoid blaming the weather, your partner, boss, co-workers, children, and whoever or whatever else because you are often annoyed, aren't functioning well in your personal or public relationships like you use to, and often have feelings of wanting to be left alone or being anywhere but on this planet.
6. Communicate issues with your doctor, counselor or someone else who seems like they have their health issues under control.
7. Do exercise, take up hobbies, and travel so that you aren't concentrating so much on how you feel, what others think about you, etc.
Resources worth checking out:
Male Menopause
http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/andropause-dealing-with-male-menopause.htm
Andropause Videos
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xsdtxg_andropause_news
http://men.webmd.com/video/male-menopause
Irritable Male Quiz
http://theirritablemale.com/quiz2.htm
Women Menopause
http://womenshealth.gov/menopause/
Menopause Video
http://videos.howstuffworks.com/health/menopause-videos-playlist.htm
PMDD Video
http://youtu.be/n2NfZbFHi8w
Perimenopause
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/perimenopause/DS00554/DSECTION=symptoms
PMDD
http://www.medicinenet.com/premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder_pmdd/article.htm
Joking with the Wrong People on the Job Might Be an End All
You may have thought your comment, joke, smirk, or laugh was okay for the moment with a co-worker or fellow leader. Some people will smile or laugh along, but others not so much. It is hard to tell what a person really thinks about what you said or did until disapproving actions follow sooner or later.
The word "nice" gets thrown around a lot at the workplace until a worker rubs another the wrong way. "Oh she is so nice...I like him he's very nice." But as the work relationship gets older, "He's okay...I guess she's alright." In time, the offended worker might say of his co-worker when asked how he feels about working with him, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."
People don't forget what hurts their feelings. I repeat, people don't forget what hurts their feelings. Days, weeks or even years back the human brain recalls moments of "just joking" during a dispute. Those thoughts that were never communicated out loud tend to come back around. For example, in the heat of an argument, a worker says, "Oh yea, by the way, I didn't think what you said about...was nice." The jester assumed his comment was taken lightly from 10 months ago! "Are you really bringing that up? I was joking. If you weren't okay with what I said, why didn't you say something back then!?" It is only a matter of time that these two will be talking about one another behind closed doors with a boss or supervisor about "how he/she makes me feel." Wonder which one will still be considered for a promotion or maybe he will just find someone else for their positions depending on how long this drama plays out?
You may have a way of joking that is well-received on the home front, but take that same sense of humor and use it with a certain ethnicity, the opposite sex, a man or woman with an interesting lifestyle, or a person with a faith, and look out, you just might be strategically pushed out doors. Witty, funny people who have tongues that oftentimes go out of control aren't loved by all especially if they make management work to put out their fires. Consider the following fictional example of a boss who grew weary of Jim's fat jokes and insults about how he handles things at work. Do you think Jokes Jim can see the signs that his boss is trying to get rid of him without firing him? "Hey Jim, did you check out that open position in another department or what about an even better one in another city? I think you are good for it. Let me talk to my boss." Jim better take the offer if he gets it, because if he stays with his boss, his continued clowning might cost him and his family a lot of unnecessary stress in the future. Wonder what his boss will come up with next, a layoff?
Past insults, negative statements, and jokes come back to haunt you in more ways than one. Jim's boss doesn't care that much about Jim's success as much as he wants him to go away. People grow weary of backhanded insults, smart mouth quips followed by ugly grins that say, "I was just kidding." Sure, right.
Nicholl McGuire
The word "nice" gets thrown around a lot at the workplace until a worker rubs another the wrong way. "Oh she is so nice...I like him he's very nice." But as the work relationship gets older, "He's okay...I guess she's alright." In time, the offended worker might say of his co-worker when asked how he feels about working with him, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."
People don't forget what hurts their feelings. I repeat, people don't forget what hurts their feelings. Days, weeks or even years back the human brain recalls moments of "just joking" during a dispute. Those thoughts that were never communicated out loud tend to come back around. For example, in the heat of an argument, a worker says, "Oh yea, by the way, I didn't think what you said about...was nice." The jester assumed his comment was taken lightly from 10 months ago! "Are you really bringing that up? I was joking. If you weren't okay with what I said, why didn't you say something back then!?" It is only a matter of time that these two will be talking about one another behind closed doors with a boss or supervisor about "how he/she makes me feel." Wonder which one will still be considered for a promotion or maybe he will just find someone else for their positions depending on how long this drama plays out?
You may have a way of joking that is well-received on the home front, but take that same sense of humor and use it with a certain ethnicity, the opposite sex, a man or woman with an interesting lifestyle, or a person with a faith, and look out, you just might be strategically pushed out doors. Witty, funny people who have tongues that oftentimes go out of control aren't loved by all especially if they make management work to put out their fires. Consider the following fictional example of a boss who grew weary of Jim's fat jokes and insults about how he handles things at work. Do you think Jokes Jim can see the signs that his boss is trying to get rid of him without firing him? "Hey Jim, did you check out that open position in another department or what about an even better one in another city? I think you are good for it. Let me talk to my boss." Jim better take the offer if he gets it, because if he stays with his boss, his continued clowning might cost him and his family a lot of unnecessary stress in the future. Wonder what his boss will come up with next, a layoff?
Past insults, negative statements, and jokes come back to haunt you in more ways than one. Jim's boss doesn't care that much about Jim's success as much as he wants him to go away. People grow weary of backhanded insults, smart mouth quips followed by ugly grins that say, "I was just kidding." Sure, right.
Nicholl McGuire
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