Monday
Career Development – A Boss Who Feels Jealous. | WiseWolf Talking – the WiseWolf Coaching Blog
If you're a boss who is secretly experiencing jealous feelings toward someone in your group, you may want to read this: Career Development – Dealing With A Boss Who Feels Jealous. | WiseWolf Talking – the WiseWolf Coaching Blog
Wednesday
Is Someone on the Job Running Scared, Fearful You are Going to Take Their Job?
You might have been the one joking about one day taking over your manager's position. He or she may have noticed lately that you are a threat. Sometimes we underestimate those who appear like they are secure with their positions. We assume that they trust us. But once you verbalize your desire to have anything of those who lead over you, you become someone to watch out for.
I got the opportunity to observe a student elevate into a teacher role over a period of years. When the student had finally reached his plateau, it was time to find a way for the teacher to push his student out the door. Now on the surface, this was a good thing, that is if the student felt he or she was ready. But there was some growing that still needed to be done and besides the student was looking for opportunities close by, not far away. This one who had learned the ropes didn't want to believe that his beloved teacher was pushing him outdoors when those around him tried to warn him. What the student forgot, was that the teacher remembered his cocky comments about one day being "the boss" and so when the time was right, he had to push his student away. No one likes an arrogant student or one who acts like a know-it-all, these flaws in his character was quite evident to the teacher. It would only be a matter of time that they might bump heads. Now because the teacher didn't want to hurt the student by setting him up to fail, despite past offenses, fear, and the temptation to want to pay him back, he did what was best, he encouraged him to go elsewhere. "Did you consider looking into my position with another establishment?" Of course, the opportunity would move the student and his family far away. The threat would be gone permanently, so he had hoped.
I share this story because I think that some people tend to get too comfortable with their bosses. They go out for drinks and meals and discuss personal business. They invite their workers to their homes. They offer to run errands and do favors. For some individuals this sort of thing works, but for others not so much. Where exactly is the line? Who draws it? And when do you not cross it?
You see those close knit relationships are nice as long as everyone knows their role and don't mix business with pleasure (such was the case between teacher and student until the student started acting arrogantly), but they are also detrimental to your future work relationship. Sooner or later one is going to say or do something that the other doesn't like, especially if it has something to do with his or her position in the company. When this happens, just like the man who thought his boss "just loved him," a worker will soon hear about him or her "being a perfect fit elsewhere."
Just something to think about.
So what are some signs that show that a boss feels threatened by you?
I got the opportunity to observe a student elevate into a teacher role over a period of years. When the student had finally reached his plateau, it was time to find a way for the teacher to push his student out the door. Now on the surface, this was a good thing, that is if the student felt he or she was ready. But there was some growing that still needed to be done and besides the student was looking for opportunities close by, not far away. This one who had learned the ropes didn't want to believe that his beloved teacher was pushing him outdoors when those around him tried to warn him. What the student forgot, was that the teacher remembered his cocky comments about one day being "the boss" and so when the time was right, he had to push his student away. No one likes an arrogant student or one who acts like a know-it-all, these flaws in his character was quite evident to the teacher. It would only be a matter of time that they might bump heads. Now because the teacher didn't want to hurt the student by setting him up to fail, despite past offenses, fear, and the temptation to want to pay him back, he did what was best, he encouraged him to go elsewhere. "Did you consider looking into my position with another establishment?" Of course, the opportunity would move the student and his family far away. The threat would be gone permanently, so he had hoped.
I share this story because I think that some people tend to get too comfortable with their bosses. They go out for drinks and meals and discuss personal business. They invite their workers to their homes. They offer to run errands and do favors. For some individuals this sort of thing works, but for others not so much. Where exactly is the line? Who draws it? And when do you not cross it?
You see those close knit relationships are nice as long as everyone knows their role and don't mix business with pleasure (such was the case between teacher and student until the student started acting arrogantly), but they are also detrimental to your future work relationship. Sooner or later one is going to say or do something that the other doesn't like, especially if it has something to do with his or her position in the company. When this happens, just like the man who thought his boss "just loved him," a worker will soon hear about him or her "being a perfect fit elsewhere."
Just something to think about.
So what are some signs that show that a boss feels threatened by you?
- He starts acting like every idea you have isn't right, wouldn't ever work, or could possibly cause more harm than good.
- He acts visibly jealous when you talk about all of your accomplishments--even though he had a hand in them.
- He looks for faults. He finds issues with how you do things that he never had with you before.
- He teases, name-calls, or does other things that make you question whether he is just joking or is serious.
- You hear from others that your boss has said some things about you personally and/or professionally that appear like you don't know what you are doing or what you are talking about.
- He takes your ideas and doesn't give you any credit.
- He often encourages you to get a similar position elsewhere and may even go so far as to help make some things happen.
If you feel like your boss is threatened by you, find a way to talk about your concern, but whatever you do don't act like you are better, know more, or can handle every situation perfectly. If you are a believer, pray for your boss or anyone who has been giving you trouble lately.
Tuesday
Work Place After Parties, Happy Hours
It can be difficult working in an atmosphere that doesn't really appreciate you much. So for some of you reading this, you might not spend too much time with boss or workers other than to complete a job and then off you go. However, there are those of you who love your co-workers like they are your brothers and sisters (at least so it appears that way). Could your emotions get you in trouble one day? Throw alcohol, drugs, or something else into the mix and who knows what might happen to your work relationship.
Sometimes we forget that people on the job are workers. Even a family member is not a family member when it comes to business. One has to put aside his or her personal and outside interests and carry on with business. But some people who don't have much of a social life outside of the workplace, sometimes look at workers as best friends, brothers, sisters, lovers, and more. It doesn't matter how likable a person is, he or she is put in your presence to assist with tasks not hand-hold, pleasure, or be a personal counselor. However, so many have turned their work relationships into something more and have brought their "I like her...I like him" stories home to a spouse or partner who is glaring back with eyes of distrust.
Some of you might have already slipped when it comes to these happy hour events. You may have reasoned, "What my sweetie doesn't know won't hurt her/him." But what some workers fail to understand is that a loved one most likely has a feeling that something went down back in 19... or 2000 whatever and might go down again after happy hour, during idle time at work, or this upcoming holiday party.
There is much anxiety and tension in the air for some couples during this season of holiday parties and it only gets worse as it gets closer and closer to certain days. When you know you have been guilty of getting a little bit too carried away at these work celebrations, you might want to do the wisest thing, sit out for a bit. Now for some readers, they probably weren't expecting a blog entry post to advise such things. "Sit out! I wish I could, but my company..." Just hold off on the reasons why the company party (or dare I say it that cute guy or gal in the office) is more important than your family. For some readers, your company could do without a few of you showing up especially if you like to drink.
Some bosses are hoping and praying that some of you heavy drinkers don't show up. Wives and husbands that have been cheated on are also hoping that a cheating mate will sit this one out this year. You can make your new year a happy one and lessen some of your burdens by making other arrangements even if you suspect you might be tempted to act out of character. Whatever your other arrangements are, they just might save your job.
I have personally observed much activity at company parties ie.) drunk women dressed slutty and dancing seductively, men misbehaving, and the boss and his assistant being a little too chummy while his wife just stares at the two of them. The next day the office reeked of last night's alcohol and cigar smells, arguments with a jealous spouse takes up most of the day, and reprimands are sent out to trouble-making workers inciting conflict over "he say, she say" statements. Hung over and red face, a former boss and supervisor either looked a little too happy to see me or scary looking as if the two were possessed. Those spirits really did do a number on them and of course they left early and left the rest of us holding the bag.
Now for those who can handle their alcohol or shall I say partying, I have nothing to say to you. Eat, drink and be merry if that's what you most desire to do. But for those who know better, you best look at your situation with wise eyes and do what's right for you, your career, and your family. Observers don't forget what you say or do at happy hour or any other social engagement. Who knows what the new year holds for you?
Nicholl McGuire is the creator of the Job Journal. A simple book to help you keep track of your thoughts while on the job.
Sometimes we forget that people on the job are workers. Even a family member is not a family member when it comes to business. One has to put aside his or her personal and outside interests and carry on with business. But some people who don't have much of a social life outside of the workplace, sometimes look at workers as best friends, brothers, sisters, lovers, and more. It doesn't matter how likable a person is, he or she is put in your presence to assist with tasks not hand-hold, pleasure, or be a personal counselor. However, so many have turned their work relationships into something more and have brought their "I like her...I like him" stories home to a spouse or partner who is glaring back with eyes of distrust.
Some of you might have already slipped when it comes to these happy hour events. You may have reasoned, "What my sweetie doesn't know won't hurt her/him." But what some workers fail to understand is that a loved one most likely has a feeling that something went down back in 19... or 2000 whatever and might go down again after happy hour, during idle time at work, or this upcoming holiday party.
There is much anxiety and tension in the air for some couples during this season of holiday parties and it only gets worse as it gets closer and closer to certain days. When you know you have been guilty of getting a little bit too carried away at these work celebrations, you might want to do the wisest thing, sit out for a bit. Now for some readers, they probably weren't expecting a blog entry post to advise such things. "Sit out! I wish I could, but my company..." Just hold off on the reasons why the company party (or dare I say it that cute guy or gal in the office) is more important than your family. For some readers, your company could do without a few of you showing up especially if you like to drink.
Some bosses are hoping and praying that some of you heavy drinkers don't show up. Wives and husbands that have been cheated on are also hoping that a cheating mate will sit this one out this year. You can make your new year a happy one and lessen some of your burdens by making other arrangements even if you suspect you might be tempted to act out of character. Whatever your other arrangements are, they just might save your job.
I have personally observed much activity at company parties ie.) drunk women dressed slutty and dancing seductively, men misbehaving, and the boss and his assistant being a little too chummy while his wife just stares at the two of them. The next day the office reeked of last night's alcohol and cigar smells, arguments with a jealous spouse takes up most of the day, and reprimands are sent out to trouble-making workers inciting conflict over "he say, she say" statements. Hung over and red face, a former boss and supervisor either looked a little too happy to see me or scary looking as if the two were possessed. Those spirits really did do a number on them and of course they left early and left the rest of us holding the bag.
Now for those who can handle their alcohol or shall I say partying, I have nothing to say to you. Eat, drink and be merry if that's what you most desire to do. But for those who know better, you best look at your situation with wise eyes and do what's right for you, your career, and your family. Observers don't forget what you say or do at happy hour or any other social engagement. Who knows what the new year holds for you?
Nicholl McGuire is the creator of the Job Journal. A simple book to help you keep track of your thoughts while on the job.
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