Getting Your Boss to Listen to Your Ideas - Four Questions That Will Earn You the Right to Be Heard

Have you ever experienced a situation where your boss didn't seem interested in listening to your ideas? Have you ever been frustrated by not being able to get to first base selling a worthwhile concept to upper management? Have you ever been tempted to stop trying all together? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, maybe you need to brush up your skills in the fine art of earning the right to be heard.

I would suggest there are four questions that all decision makers need to have answered before they can comfortably and confidently approve any idea. For those of us able to both identify these four questions and formulate appropriate answers for each, the probability of our concerns being heard and acted upon increases greatly. Consider the following four.

Question 1: How much is it going to cost?
No self-respecting manager would ever approve any proposal unless armed with this answer. Therefore, take the time to do your homework up-front. Be prepared, but be honest. Never over-estimate or pad the numbers! Others may, but for those of us wishing to earn the right to be heard, the risk is too great. If decision makers believe you're playing games with them, they may let you play somewhere else.

Question 2: What are the benefits?
This may be the most important question to be answered. Benefits serve decision makers as both reason and motivation for taking action. Whenever we sell any idea we should be prepared with as many tangible benefits as possible. However, be careful. Only benefits which are legitimate and defensible should be included. Even one benefit that is not legitimate or defensible may serve to make the entire list suspect in the mind of the decision maker.

Question 3: How long will it take?
Time is money. Therefore, we need to offer decision makers a realistic expectation of the time required to get our recommendation up and running. However, contrary to my earlier advice regarding question number one, always over-estimate the length of time expected for the project to be completed. Create a specific implementation plan that will allow you to position yourself in such a way as to always be under time and under budget.

Question 4: What happens if we don't do it?
This is a favorite question of many decision makers. After listening to your well-prepared case for a certain action to be taken, many decision makers may seem compelled to consider the downside of the equation. Don't despair, prepare. Prepare yourself with a ready response for this predictable question. My suggestion? "Boss, if you decide not to approve this proposal, I will accept your decision. However, let me remind you of the benefits which will not be realized as a result of your decision here today." Then immediately refer to the earlier list of legitimate and defensible benefits.
Will leaders always be successful in getting what they want when following the approach outlined above? Of course not. However, even if we don't get what we want, we may still be successful in creating quality "face time" with the appropriate decision makers. After all, the first step to getting to "yes," is earning the right to be heard.

Phillip Van Hooser is a leadership expert and best selling author. His management training system, The Leadership Journey, have been used by companies all across the U.S. and beyond to help their people become more successful leaders. When his strategies are implemented, organizations and individuals experience lower turnover rates and higher productivity, enjoy improved management/employee relations and understand how to motivate today's "new breed" of employee. For more information, please visit http://www.vanhooser.com

Excessive Work and Sexual Difficulties and Problems

When we get enough experience with sexual activities, we reach a stage where we conclude that such activities are best done in a proper mental and physical state. We find ourselves relaxed, free from tiredness, away from distractions, etc. Involving in sexual acts while the above factors do not favor, result in very negative behaviors, leaving us unsatisfied or we fail to perform sexually. Excessive work and sexual difficulties go hand-to-hand today due to the current hectic lifestyle and for the need to earn more.

Excessive work and sexual difficulties have become a common syndrome now. You can find many people suffer very much due to excessive work that results in fatigue, lack of time and, above all, a constant stressful mental state. Many busy people report leading a very unsatisfactory sexual life due to the long working hours or due to their busy schedule. Some people feel so tired and sleepy that they prefer rest than sex. Some find their sexual frequency badly affected by their busy schedule. Some find negative changes in sexual behavior. Many couples, who used to have sex almost every night before, now report to have just once or twice a month after both of them got busy in work.

Excessive work and sexual difficulties affect the lives of many people, both men and women. In fact, women tend to lose out more. The relationship between excessive work and sexual difficulties seems deep-rooted. If you are tired, you do not find the desire or strength left for sex. A stressful workload or busy schedule very badly affects the sexual life, and it even can cause several sexual disorders.

The relation between excessive work and sexual difficulties also result in many other problems when it comes to sharing intimate moments in the bed. Many people report different symptoms such as: difficulty to experience orgasm, unable to relax in bed, vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction, inadequate foreplay resulting in unsatisfactory ending of the act, irritability during the intimate moments, and in some cases even breaking up of relationship.

Busy individuals are warned unless they find a way out and try to have enough free time and approach sex when they are fresh both physically and mentally, their suffering will increase over time. This can give rise to many other physical and emotional complications. Couples have to take this matter more seriously and honestly. They have to cooperate fully with each other and increase understanding and tolerance. The results will certainly be more encouraging.

Ryan Mutt

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Seven Lessons Learned From Bad Bosses

As a human resources professional, I've worked with all sorts of managers and have seen my fair share of bad bosses and tyrants. I have compiled a few of the lessons I've learned along the way on how not to manage employees and sincerely hope that these lessons will help you become the great leader that you know you can be:

Lesson 1: Don't Share Too Much Information (TMI) - Your direct report is an employee of the company and not your counselor, confidante or BFF (Best Friend Forever). Employees really don't want to or need to know the intimate details of your personal life, really. One manager actually told me during a one on one meeting with her that her mother never found out about all the black men she had slept with. Bonding session? I think not. You put your employees in an uncomfortable position when you divulge too much private information. Discussing what you did with the kids over the weekend is fine, discussing your love life, not so much.

Lesson 2: Give Constructive Instead of Crushing Criticism - Check out this scenario - An employee feels like he's doing a fantastic job, he constantly exceeds your expectations and you've given him good feedback on his performance during the year. It's the end of the year and time for the annual performance review; said employee is sitting across from your desk waiting eagerly for you to formalize in the review what you've been telling him throughout the review period. Suddenly, you inform him that although he's done great work, his humor is off-putting and he made a comment 6 months ago that you thought was kind of racist.

If you wanted to thank your employee for a job well done, correct any bad behavior and motivate him for another year, you have effectively done the opposite. As a manager, you're supposed to build relationships with your direct report. This includes giving immediate feedback and finding an effective and sensitive way to give constructive criticism. After his review, the employee had a long conversation with HR; he was clearly upset and disillusioned.

Lesson 3: Don't be Intimidated by Your Direct Reports' Intellect - As a manager, you're paid to ensure that you motivate and bring out the best in your employees. With companies reaching the productivity frontier and everyone scrambling for a competitive advantage, it's even more important to encourage employees to think creatively and to support innovation. As a leader, your employees want to impress you with their creativity and ideas. So don't follow the example of a Director at a large insurance company that would compete with her direct reports at meetings and say things such as, "I thought of that already" anytime one of her employees would make a suggestion. You're the manager and as such are expected to nurture and encourage employees, not get into a contest of how smart you are. We know you have to have some intellect otherwise you wouldn't be a manager. Making your employees look bad instead of making them shine in front of others just makes you look petty.

Lesson 4: Never Belittle Your Employees - One Vice President I knew seemed to derive pleasure from making her direct reports look and feel stupid and small. When she received a completed assignment from an employee she would hurriedly review it, looking for mistakes. If she found any, she would gleefully point it out to the employee; you could see her almost salivating with excitement. In addition, this manager would make belittling comments to her direct reports, such as "well now that you took the stairs, maybe you'll lose some weight". She couldn't help herself! Managers should be mindful of their employees' feelings (yes, employees do have feelings!). You don't have to make everyone else look bad or feel small in order to make yourself look good.

Lesson 5: Stay Objective - There was one manager I worked with that would either really like or really despise her direct reports. Once, she hired a new employee on her team who, it appeared could do no wrong. All the other team members called her the manager's pet. Until one day, the employee and manager disagreed on an issue. The manager took the disagreement as a personal affront, told the employee that she was very disappointed in her behavior (the employee hadn't wanted to attend a company holiday party) and began to overly criticize the employee's work from that day on.

As a manager, understand that your employees can have and express a different viewpoint from yours; in fact this should be encouraged. Don't take it personally when your employee doesn't always agree with you and more importantly don't punish the employee for it.

Lesson 6: Don't be a Wimp! - We understand that decision-making and authority is sometimes centralized in organizations, it becomes frustrating to employees however when their manager can't make a single decision without having to consult someone higher up. There was a Director that I worked with that couldn't make a decision without vetting it with the Vice President of the division. Her direct reports would wait endlessly for a response to a simple, routine question. To make matters worse, the Vice President would berate the Director at team meetings and the Director would take the abuse like a wounded dog. She never stood up for herself! The rest of the team would cringe at the sight of the Director being talked to like a naughty little girl and quickly lost respect for her. At the very least, the Director should have pulled the Vice President aside and informed her that she would appreciate it if the VP didn't tell her off in front of her staff.

Work out with your manager what types of decisions you can make autonomously so that you appear to have some authority and don't become a bottleneck. Also, it's never okay to take abuse from your superiors.

Lesson 7: Don't be Afraid to Admit You Made a Mistake. - Everyone makes mistakes, even you! The biggest mistake you can make as a manager is to never admit when you've made one.
There was a Vice President at an international Fortune 100 company that would do anything to cover up the fact that he had made a mistake, including blaming his team, pointing the finger at his peers and throwing temper tantrums. The funny thing was that his team soon caught on and he became a laughing stock. When you admit your gaffes, you're telling your team that you're human and that you are holding yourself to the same high standards that you hold them to. You're also telling them that it's okay to fail, sometimes. Some of the world's best innovations were created through trial and error. There's absolutely nothing wrong in apologizing and saying "my bad". Then you can go about the business of fixing the problem instead of trying to look good.

I hope you've picked up a lesson or two from the above. Remember, as a boss, it's your job to ensure that your employees are coming to work for more than just a pay check, that's when you cross the realm from boss to leader.

Busola Olatilu is a Human Resources and Management Consultant with over 10 years of experience in HR. She has a Master's Degree in HR Management and an MBA.

The Potential to Be Harmed by the Process of a Business

I have used this portion of definition for my title because it brings us to the heart of the matter of risk assessment. What is a risk assessment? Risk assessments are processes used by employers because they are duty bound to consider and identify any and all risks in their business that are potentially harmful.

At Home and Abroad
Employers are obligated to address these things at home or in the field and make changes that are reasonably practicable to manage them. These could be risks to employees, suppliers, sub-contractors and to the public as well. There are five major components to every risk assessment:

- Identifying all hazards
- Conclude what is potentially dangerous and who is affected by it
- Evaluate said risks and create a contingency (precautions) to manage it
- Make a record of all findings and employ the action plan to meet the needs of safety
- Make regularly scheduled reviews of all risk assessment policies and update them accordingly
- Making a Plan

After the risk assessment plan is complete, it will be necessary to create an action plan that adequately addresses the issues. The emphasis of any plan needs to be on making the improvements necessary to ensure safety. The need following that would then be to perform regular reviews to assess effectiveness and to address any changes that may develop from day to day.

Many employers can do these things in house. There are trained professionals however, who are established at doing risk assessment planning to incorporate all issues at any scale. Often the situation warrants such involvement. This is especially true for issues that deal with things such as water hygiene, disability access, fire prevention and asbestos. This is just to mention a few. The old adage comes to mind- "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure".

Herb

How to Quit Drinking and Start Living Again - Get Back Your Life Without Going to AA Meetings!

If you can't seem to stop drinking no matter what you do and find your life spinning out of control, then this may be the most important article you ever read. I have been exactly where you are at right now! I was desperate to know how to quit drinking. All I wanted was to have a normal life again. I have that life now and so can you! And you don't have to go to AA meetings to do it!

My drinking career lasted about 25 years. The last ten or so were pure hell. My marriage was falling apart, I was bouncing from job to job, I had hangovers all the time and I frequently made an ass of myself in public. I was a terrible father to my infant son and basically unavailable to the people who loved me. My days were spent drinking from the time I got up in the early morning until passing out in the evening. No matter how drunk I got though, I remember waking up every night around 3:00 AM feeling terrified and depressed. I'd lay there staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep and sick with worry about what was happening to me. I'd make a promise to myself that the next day, things would be different. No more drinking for me!

The next day I'd get up and do it all over again.

I couldn't live with alcohol and I couldn't live without it. My life was unbearable. I wanted to die but couldn't do that to my family. All I wanted was to know how to quit drinking and start living again!

But how?
Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life and I haven't had a drink in years. It worked for me but I am one of the very few success stories. I have become concerned in recent years about the very high failure rate of AA and would like to offer advice to those who are looking for another way. Despite what many hardcore members of AA will tell you, it IS possible to overcome your drinking problem without going to AA meetings. There are some basic fundamentals that must become a part of your thinking and your way of life:

• You must recognize that your body cannot tolerate alcohol. Treat it like you would a serious allergy because that is basically what it is. The idea that you can drink casually needs to be buried!
• You must value your sobriety above everything else! Getting sober and staying sober must be your #1 priority. If it isn't, you won't have anything else anyway.
• You will have a much greater chance for success if you hang stop hanging around heavy drinkers. Try to surround yourself with people who don't live to get drunk.
• You need to have a belief in a power greater than yourself. This has been difficult for people who have trouble with the idea of God. However, you can be successful just by believing in something and it can be entirely your own concept. People have chosen a doorknob as their higher power!

Here is something else that may appeal to you which may be the best part of all. What if there was a discreet and much easier and quicker way?

What if you could reduce your craving for alcohol or drugs quickly, safely, naturally and inexpensively and make your chances for a full recovery from alcohol addiction a certainty?
You are the only one who knows what will happen if you don't take action to stop your drinking!

My best to you on your journey to a new sober and wonderful life!