How to Quit Drinking and Start Living Again - Get Back Your Life Without Going to AA Meetings!

If you can't seem to stop drinking no matter what you do and find your life spinning out of control, then this may be the most important article you ever read. I have been exactly where you are at right now! I was desperate to know how to quit drinking. All I wanted was to have a normal life again. I have that life now and so can you! And you don't have to go to AA meetings to do it!

My drinking career lasted about 25 years. The last ten or so were pure hell. My marriage was falling apart, I was bouncing from job to job, I had hangovers all the time and I frequently made an ass of myself in public. I was a terrible father to my infant son and basically unavailable to the people who loved me. My days were spent drinking from the time I got up in the early morning until passing out in the evening. No matter how drunk I got though, I remember waking up every night around 3:00 AM feeling terrified and depressed. I'd lay there staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep and sick with worry about what was happening to me. I'd make a promise to myself that the next day, things would be different. No more drinking for me!

The next day I'd get up and do it all over again.

I couldn't live with alcohol and I couldn't live without it. My life was unbearable. I wanted to die but couldn't do that to my family. All I wanted was to know how to quit drinking and start living again!

But how?
Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life and I haven't had a drink in years. It worked for me but I am one of the very few success stories. I have become concerned in recent years about the very high failure rate of AA and would like to offer advice to those who are looking for another way. Despite what many hardcore members of AA will tell you, it IS possible to overcome your drinking problem without going to AA meetings. There are some basic fundamentals that must become a part of your thinking and your way of life:

• You must recognize that your body cannot tolerate alcohol. Treat it like you would a serious allergy because that is basically what it is. The idea that you can drink casually needs to be buried!
• You must value your sobriety above everything else! Getting sober and staying sober must be your #1 priority. If it isn't, you won't have anything else anyway.
• You will have a much greater chance for success if you hang stop hanging around heavy drinkers. Try to surround yourself with people who don't live to get drunk.
• You need to have a belief in a power greater than yourself. This has been difficult for people who have trouble with the idea of God. However, you can be successful just by believing in something and it can be entirely your own concept. People have chosen a doorknob as their higher power!

Here is something else that may appeal to you which may be the best part of all. What if there was a discreet and much easier and quicker way?

What if you could reduce your craving for alcohol or drugs quickly, safely, naturally and inexpensively and make your chances for a full recovery from alcohol addiction a certainty?
You are the only one who knows what will happen if you don't take action to stop your drinking!

My best to you on your journey to a new sober and wonderful life!

Types of Sexual Harassment

There are two types of legally recognized way of committing sexual harassment: (1) Quid pro quo sexual harassment; and (2) Hostile environment harassment.

I. Quid Pro Quo Sexual Harassment
Quid pro quo sexual harassment occurs when an employee is offered to be retained in his/her job or be promoted in exchange for sexual favors. In case of a student, the offer is to help receive a good grade or a favorable recommendation in exchange for sexual favors. The person who commits quid pro quo sexual harassment is a person with power to influence the victim's employment or educational situation like a supervisor, manager or a teacher in case of a student. An example would be if a manager suggests that an employee goes out with him on a date or asks for a neck or back rub every so often in exchange for retaining her post or be promoted.

In this type of sexual harassment, it is not important if the victim gave in or agrees to the offer. It is enough that the harasser floats or makes the offer and the victim is not barred from filing a claim if he or she later on changes his or her mind.

II. Hostile Environment Sexual Harassment
Hostile work environment sexual harassment, on the other hand, occurs when a co-worker, manager or supervisor in the work place makes unwelcome sexual advances which interferes with work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment, or learning environment in the case of students. The sexual harassing conduct could be verbal, non-verbal, visual or physical. Example of a verbal harassing conduct is when one makes a sexual comment about a person's clothing, anatomy or looks. In cases of non-verbal sexually harassing conduct an example would be leering, staring or glaring at someone. Visual sexually harassing conduct on the other hand could be displaying sexually suggestive calendars, photographs, posters or cartoons in the workplace. Physically harassing conduct is when someone gives a massage around the neck or shoulders and the victim did not ask for it and regards it as offensive.

In this type of sexual harassment, even the employer is liable if he has knowledge or should have knowledge of the sexual harassment perpetrated on one of the employees and the employer either does nothing about it or even faulted the victim for the happening of the sexually harassing conduct.
In both cases, it would be to the best interest of the victim to secure the services of a lawyer immediately to protect the victim's legal rights.

John Luke Matthews is a regular contributor of relevant articles about the jurisprudence of businesses. He is part of the Mesriani Law Group and is currently taking information technology studies as well.
For more information about sexual harassment her employment law issues, visit our Professional Los Angeles Lawyers.

Signs of Lying and Getting the Truth

Some of the more obvious signs of lying include different answers when you repeat a question, and hesitation in answering. You also can watch for eye movements that differ from the usual. Be careful with these individual signs, since shifty eyes may be normal for some people, even when telling the truth. Compare eye movements and other behaviors to their known tendencies.

There are other signs of lying you can learn, but perhaps it is more useful to learn how to get the truth out of a person. That's what the rest of the tips below cover.

Motivation
Determine whether the person is more motivated by rewards or fear. You may have to ask about events in her past to determine this. Then tailor your approach accordingly. Suggest or hint at good things that will come from telling the truth, or bad things that will come from lying. You might even do both.

Build Rapport
Suppose you are trying to get some information about your friend - who may have lied to you - from his brother, who you don't know well. The first thing you would want to do is build rapport. If he mentions a movie he liked, you say, "Yeah, I loved that movie." You continue to find things you have in common with him and then start working any relevant questions into the conversation.
Rapport creates trust. Other ways to create rapport include sitting like the person you are talking to, using the same words and expressions he uses, and talking at the same speed. The more he feels that you are just like him, the more likely he is to open up and talk.

Use Subliminal Persuasion
Subliminally reward the subject whenever you know he is telling the truth, and quietly "punish" him when he lies or withholds information. This might be as simple as a compliment and a smile when he tells the truth, and an uncomfortable glare when he lies. If your acting ability is good enough, you might change your whole demeanor in a second according to whether he is cooperating or not.
Of course, you'll have to have a pretty clear idea of when he is lying and when he is telling the truth for this to work. But this will work when done right. Anyone who consistently feels stressed when lying, and relief or pleasure when telling the truth, will unconsciously feel a greater inclination to tell the truth.

Make Assumptions
You can sometimes get a confession by making assumptions about what you think happened. For example, suppose you suspect a friend of saying some nasty things about you. If you ask, he will lie.
Instead, you start with, "I think I know why you said those mean things about me, but if you're my friend you can at least tell me why you said them."

If your friend did say things about you, and is convinced that you know this, he will usually offer some explanation at this point, confirming his guilt. If he hesitates after you say this, he may be weighing his options, indicating that he did say something about you. He now has to decide to lie and risk losing the friendship, or acknowledge what he did. If he is truly innocent, he is likely to immediately say so.

The signs of lying are a good thing to know, then, but it can also help to know the techniques for getting at the truth.

Copyright Steve Gillman.

You Can Conquer Workplace Bullying Without Fighting

Bosses who bully are unpleasant to work for. However, sometimes you can handle the situations they present you with by responding in calm and determined manner. Can you learn to conquer a bully without fighting her? The answer is yes. Try following the steps below to combat workplace bullying.

Your primary objective is to show the bully you are in control of yourself. You're not going to bend to her demands. You need to gain control of the situation and redirect her energy toward an outcome that is positive for you.

In dealing with bosses who bully, first absorb her attack.
· Calm her by speaking in a low but self-confident tone.
· Physically stand your ground. Do not back away. "Own" your space.
· Show her that you understand her immediate problem and what she wants.
· With your voice, tone and body language, show her that you don't take her attack personally.

Second, use the force of the bully's attack to subdue her.
· Ask her to restate her main point.
· Ask for her relevant opinions and suggested solutions.
· Listen actively. Paraphrase her ideas and ask follow-up questions.

Third, give a meaningful response.
· Let her know you want to help her, if possible. Again, stand your ground. Control your voice and tone.
· Summarize the situation and options. Use the same terminology and phrases as the bully.
· Give your conclusions. Tell the bully what you're going to do.

Finally, respond effectively to the bully's objections.
· Restate your own intentions.
· Describe the bully's options again.
· Explain the benefits and problems of each option.
· Ask the bully to make a simple choice.

Even bosses who bully ultimately have a job to do. Your job is to do the work--and the bully knows it. Stand up to the bully; offer her choices that you can live with. She may begin to see you as an ally instead of an impediment.

You have worried, analyzed and suffered long enough from bullying in the workplace - Now it's time to re-claim the confidence and respect you deserve!

Now you can be Bully Free at Work!

Valerie Cade is a workplace bullying expert and author of Bully Free At Work. For more tips, articles, how-to's, and podcasts, visit THE resource to stop workplace bullying

Hate Your Job But Can't Leave? 5 Career Strategies to Survive, Thrive and Become More Marketable

Feeling forced to work in a job you hate is one of the biggest sources of job stress. It is critical to develop a game plan as early as possible. Many people promise themselves to stick it out, but eventually sabotage themselves because they hope they won't have to. Here are 5 strategies to get started.

Strategy #1: Change the way you talk about your job. It's easy to fall into the blame game. It's almost fun to call up a colleague and talk about how horrible your boss is and how you wish you could leave. But these conversations cause a downward spiral into deeper frustration.
Refuse to participate in negative conversations. Change the subject. Say your other phone is ringing. But do it.
When you find yourself feeling frustrated and angry, focus instead on what you want to feel, have and be. Instead of, "Why does he call meetings at the last minute?" say, "I want a work environment where we get at least a day to prepare for important meetings."
Some people find it helpful to create a mantra to recite when your company's name comes up in your thoughts. For instance, one person tried reciting, "Quiet. Respect. Reward." Over time, she was surprised at how calm she felt. She could think more clearly.

Strategy #2: Recognize areas where you can cut back on efforts without risking your job.
One of my acquaintances has a policy for his workplace. "When I get asked to do something that will take time, such as a change in the format of a report, I wait. Sometimes nothing happens. If it's really important, they will ask me a second or even third time."
Obviously this policy won't work everywhere. But you may be contributing to your own frustration by doing work that isn't valued or rewarded.

Strategy #3: Grow your career on company time.
Nearly every organization offers courses, seminars and growth opportunities. When you're feeling frustrated, it's easy to ignore them because you think, "I already have so much to do."
Meanwhile, begin using your free time to join networking groups and develop some free lance opportunities. You gain power as you gain independence.

Strategy #4: Schedule time to turn inward with meditation and silence.
When you're not sure what to do, it's easy to get involved in activity that doesn't carry much meaning. It's also easy to listen to a lot of bad advice. Some well-meaning friends will say, "You'd better hang in there. Good jobs are hard to find." Others, equally well-meaning, will urge you to resign even before you have another job lined up. You lose energy listening to this conflicting advice as you struggle to make your own decisions.

Strategy #5: Find a safe place to express your feelings, ideas and insights.
When you talk to colleagues and anyone who may become a colleague, keep your game face. You might miss out on a hot job lead because you're branded as dissatisfied or unmotivated. Anyway, complaining puts you in a one-down position.

Family and friends can be supportive confidantes if they understand your situation. On the other hand, you can jeopardize close relationships when you ask them to act as sounding boards. Every career coach has clients whose spouses have said, "Haven't you found another job yet? It's been a whole month."

Career coaching can seem expensive but it's a wise investment if you can hang on to your job while protecting your personal relationships and your sanity. Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., offers consulting services to mid-life, mid-career professionals who want to enjoy the first inning of their second career.