Are You a Success Or a Failure? Only You Know For Sure

What is success? What is failure? For each of us, these terms mean something different. One person may obtain worldly financial riches and feel unsuccessful. Another person may easily find love and feel like a failure. Yet another person might be financially poor without a loving partner and manage to feel successful.

Do you know the difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person? Success results from a mindset, a consistent habit pattern and a way of being. Success in love, in finances, in health and recovery from illness, in business, in athletic or artistic activities, or in any life endeavor requires skills that high level marketers have developed. Inspired by teleseminars offered by top level marketers, I realized that we are all, always, marketing in our lives - in love, in business and in everything else. Some of us succeed. Other fail. What is the difference? What does it take to succeed?

For me, the deeper secret about success and failure is that those who are successful do what works. They are not attached to the results. They give and share, what they have and know, freely without holding back and without expecting something in return. They listen to the needs of the other person (customer, lover, friend, acquaintance, boss, employee, family member, organization, etc.). They discover the other person's perspective and find a way to offer what the other person perceives as valuable. They learn about the other person's pain, what is giving them anxiety and causing them to suffer, and they find a way to teach and encourage and convince the other person that they have what it takes to meet that person's needs and make their pain go away.

The unsuccessful person, on the other hand, does what he or she thinks "should" work and continues to do it without testing, or perhaps just gives up when it doesn't work easily. They do not take the time or make the effort to listen to what the other person claims they need. The unsuccessful person offers what he or she "thinks" the other person "should" need or want. The unsuccessful person feels entitled to receive (money, love, sex, happiness, recognition, respect, etc.) and is attached to receiving what they feel entitled to (becoming emotionally upset when not received). The unsuccessful person "expects" the other person to just "know" how valuable (wonderful, loving, important, expensive, worthy of being loved) they or their products are without finding out what is perceived as valuable to the other person.

The unsuccessful person has no idea what causes the other person to suffer, to feel pain and anxiety, but attempts to persuade the other person to want and desire what he or she is offering.

The successful person is a value creator, helping others to feel seen, heard, acknowledged, appreciated and helped. The unsuccessful person communicates from a place of self-interest, self-importance, self-concern.

Are you creating value for yourself and for others, right now? Does your daily interest focus on self-concern or greater concern for others? Do you feel successful or unsuccessful at this point in your life? And, do you have plans set in place for your own future success?

Dr. Erica Goodstone, a Healing Through Love Mentor, has helped thousands of men, women, couples, and groups to develop greater awareness of the issues in their relationships and their lives, to overcome and alleviate stressors and discords, and to revitalize their relationships and their own mind-body-spirit connection. Dr. Goodstone can be contacted through her web site at http://www.DrEricaWellness.com and you can take the Create Healing and Love Now Personal quiz and get your free personal report and bonus gifts at http://www.createhealingandlovenow.com.

The Danger of Workplace Negativity and Stress

Nothing is more sinister to the employee's morale than persistent workplace negativity. It saps the liveliness of organizations and diverts critical attention from performance.

Negativity occurs in the attitude, outlook, and talk of one department member, or in bloating voices responding to a workplace decision or event. A new book, Joy at Work: Empowering Scriptures for the Workplace soothes the Soul. It is Spiritual 'first aid' to help you get centered--anytime, anywhere. Joy at Work is a collection of biblical principles and scriptures to help one navigate the crossroads of the workplace using screen beans illustrations.

Religion is always able to produce solutions to the various problems people face. One's faith does allow the person to deal with the problem usually in a calmer way. We can assume that the significance of religion is similar to the importance of understanding the job description. The buffering effect' means religion serves to buffer the impact of adverse circumstances.

Leah Smiley, President of Society for Diversity quoted, "Joy at Work: Empowering Scriptures for the Workplace is a must read for all those struggling with workplace issues or frustrated from seeking employment. The book has given me a sense of solace in the midst of turmoil."

It has been recently reported that employees are dissatisfied with the conditions at work. They are quitting in record numbers despite the fact they have no back-up plan. The rash of those quitting their jobs have most been contributed to pay, long work hours, and not enough flexibility in the workplace.

Nothing is more powerful than Joy at Work: Empowering Scriptures for the Workplace to zap workplace negativity and stress.

Ramona Clay is a Christian author, speaker, and inspirational coach. Ms. Clay is owner of Global Staffing Partners with over 20 years in recruiting, training, and coach. She has started Joy@Work.com seminars and has her own radio show on BlogTalk radio, Monday evenings at 7:00 PM. Ramona's website, http://www.ramonaclay.com

Building a Positive Workplace Through Situational Leadership

Situational Leadership is NOT something you do to people, but something you do with People. Developed by Paul Hersey, professor and author of the book Situational Leader, and Ken Blanchard, leadership guru and author of The One Minute Manager. This Theory was first introduced as "Life Cycle Theory of Leadership" During the mid 1970's and was renamed later as "Situational Leadership theory".

The fundamental underpinning of the Situational Leadership Theory is there is no single "best" style of leadership, It is like giving everyone according to their particular needs. "there is nothing so unequal as the equal treatment of unequals". Effective leadership is task-relevant and that the most successful leaders are those that adapt their leadership style to the Maturity of the individual or group they are attempting to lead or influence. Treating unequal as equal is the great inequality that a leader may commit the level of maturity or the capacity to set high but attainable goals, willingness and ability to take responsibility for the task, and relevant education and/or experience of an individual or a group for the task is not all equal. So an effective leadership varies, not only with the person or group that is being influence, but it will also depend on the task, job or function that needs to be accomplished.

Prescription: we need to learn how to diagnose the needs of the people you work for us
The Hersey-Blanchard Situational Leadership Theory rests on two fundamental concepts; Leadership Style and the individual or group's Maturity level.

Leadership styles
Hersey and Blanchard characterized leadership style in terms of the amount of Task Behavior and Relationship Behavior that the leader provides to their followers. They categorized all leadership styles into four behavior types, which they named S1 to S4:

• S1: Telling - For people who lack competence but are enthusiastic and committed. They need direction and supervision to get them started. This is one-way communication in which the leader defines the roles of the individual or group and provides the what, how, when, and where to do the task. Decisions are made by the leader and announced, it is a directing type of leadership or somehow called dictatorship style.

• S2: Selling - For people who have competence in themselves but lacking commitment. Direction and supervision is needed because they are still relatively inexperienced or unwilling to do the task. They need support and praise to build their self-esteem, and need to be involve in decision-making to bring out their commitment. The leader here is providing the direction and using two-way communication by providing the socio-emotional support that will allow the individual or group being influenced to acquire into the process. This is a high task focus, & high relationship focus - The leaders here still define roles and tasks, but seeks ideas and suggestions from the group member. Most of the times decisions remain the leader's prerogative, Its like a leader giving a lessons or instruction merely I say its like coaching, but communication here is two-way.

• S3: Participating - For people who have competence, but lack confidence or motivation. They do not need much direction because of their skills, but support is necessary to bolster their confidence and motivation. This is now shared decision making about aspects of how the task is accomplished and the leader is providing less task behaviors while maintaining high relationship behavior. This is Low task focus vice versa high relationship focus - leaders pass all decisions, such as task allocation and processes, to the follower. The leader role here is sustaining and or supporting by facilitating and taking part in decisions, but total control is in the hand of the follower.

• S4: Delegating - For people who have both competence and commitment. They are able and willing to work in an entrusted work or project by themselves with little supervision or support. Leader here is still involved in decisions but, the process and responsibility has been entrusted and passed in individual or group. Leaders here involved just to monitor the progress of given project or task. It is Low task focus, low relationship focus - leaders are still involved in decisions and problem-solving, but control is with the follower. The follower decides when and how the leader will be involved.
Of these, Leadership style none is considered optimal for all leaders to use all the time. Effective leaders need to be flexible, and must adapt themselves according to the situation.

By Jaime Menor

What to Do When Your Team Gets "Stuck" - 7 Ways to Get it Moving Again

There is no question about it. A team can be a powerful vehicle for accomplishing a major project, guiding a unit to superior performance, or bringing together diverse perspectives to solve a pressing problem.

Have you ever been a member of a smooth functioning, high performing team? Those of you who have, no doubt, harbor fond memories of how energizing it is and how great that rush of pride feels when you achieve great things together.

The best teams, including certainly that great team you were on, are not just adept at driving outcomes. They also monitor their process,--how the group deliberates and makes decisions--the morale of the group and the well-being of the individual members. Therefore, the best teams are aware of how well they are doing during a meeting and, when necessary, discuss it openly right on the spot or in a debrief discussion at the end.

Getting Stuck
Do you remember the last time you were in your car when your wheels were mired deep in a patch of oozy mud (or, for those of you from a colder climate, in a bank of snow and ice)? How heavy it feels to be stuck. How helpless and frustrated you feel. You try to accelerate, spinning your tires faster and faster. If that doesn't work, you try first revving up, then pausing, in an attempt to get a back-and-forth motion going so you can catch the next forward momentum and rocket out of the muck.

While even the best teams get stuck occasionally, most working groups experience this state more often than they realize or admit. I have seen some teams stay stuck for quite awhile, for days, even months.

Just what do I mean by "stuck?" Here are a few examples:
*A couple of people continue to dominate the discussion.
*After much debate, you still have two factions pushing their different solutions or goals.
*The discussions keep going off agenda and consuming too much time.
*Certain individuals hold up team progress by missing meetings or failing to deliver on task commitments they have made to the group.

The vast majority of teams either are not aware-or simply ignore it-when the team (which is, remember, a group of human beings) becomes stuck. Why? Because "stuckness" is a people issue, a so-called soft skills problem. It calls for courageously confronting the whole group or certain members and potentially bringing emotions into play.

The Cost of Remaining Stuck
You can't afford to deny or ignore it for very long. When your team gets stuck, it can cost you serious money, in at least three ways:

1. The energy and enthusiasm around the table drops off. Team members become discouraged. They start to lose interest in the team's goals. If the situation isn't resolved, their off-line comments about the team turn negative. ("Man, what a waste that meeting was. We're going nowhere. I wish they'd let me drop off this team and just do my regular job.")
2. The extra time each one of you spends spinning team wheels constitutes an opportunity cost. That time and effort could certainly be used more productively elsewhere.
3. Your team may end up squandering the time available for a quality decision on an issue or it may fail to meet promised deadlines. Obviously, poor decisions or missed deliverables can have serious negative repercussions for the operation and for the wider organization.

It pays to recognize when your team is stuck and then intervene quickly to get it humming again. But this still begs questions: How do you know when your team is, in fact, stuck? What can you do to turn it around?

Seven Pitfalls and Seven Solutions
Below are seven situations that can cause your team to become bogged down and unproductive. In italics are suggestions of how to respond in order to give your team new found traction.

1. Lack of Agreement. We often proceed with the business of the team without everyone being clear and onboard about the team's goals, priorities, tasks and time-lines. Have you ever held a discussion as a group to clarify everybody's expectations regarding objectives, team operating rules and individual roles and accountabilities? Raise questions when you are not clear about something. Challenge the team to confirm that everyone is on the same page.
2. Lack of Commitment. Sometimes people's initial commitment to the team's goals and agreed-upon priorities wanes. You can hear it in their voices and see it in their record of attendance, participation and delivery on promises made to members. When some people withhold their commitment, it can be a drag on the rest. Help each member identify benefits that will accrue to him or her personally from the team's success.
3. Lack of Accountability. Are all members following through on tasks they accept responsibility for and promises they make to the group? Take accountability for confronting-with respect and for the good of the team-a colleague when he or she does not (take accountability to) deliver on task commitments by the agreed-upon deadline.
4. Lack of Leadership. Whom among you do team members rely upon to step forward and lead? Who keeps the team on target and on agenda? It need not always be the formal leader, the boss. Any member can take the initiative, when needed, to challenge, inspire or confront his/her colleagues. Ask the manager to be more directive when leading. At the same time, raise the issue with the team that none of you seems to play a leadership role. Or, try stepping in yourself.
5. Lack of Communication. Communication is the lifeblood of your team. It is how the team makes decisions and gets things done. Are people being authentic when they speak in team discussions? For that matter, is it safe to say what you think, even if it goes against what the group-or the leader-thinks? Does everyone have a chance to contribute? Do members truly dialogue or do they just engage in dueling arguments? Ask everyone to be more conscious of listening, honoring all points-of-view and disagreeing constructively, with respect.
6. Lack of Collaboration. Some teams, by their very nature, need to collaborate more than others. This is particularly true for groups, such as project teams, that have to share information, reach consensus decisions and integrate individual tasks into a collective outcome. This, of course, is less of an issue for a management team composed of department heads with little in common other than they report to the same boss. When collaboration is a must, alert everyone to be sensitive to what their colleagues need and how their own action (or inaction) can impact their team mates' contribution.
7. Lack of Trust. Leadership expert Warren Bennis calls trust the "emotional glue" that holds a team together. It underpins all six elements, above. For trust to be present in your team, members must feel safe to disagree with and confront other individuals or even the team as a whole. They must believe that their colleagues genuinely hold their interests in high regard. Be patient; trust builds slowly. Encourage everybody to demonstrate their trustworthiness by meeting their commitments and speaking authentically. In return, others will reciprocate...and trust will grow.

Whether your team is a project, cross-functional, matrix, limited life or a permanent one, it will from time to time become stuck. Look to the above seven factors for the key to pulling your group out of the mud...or the snow!

Ian G. Cook is a trainer, keynote speaker, and facilitator and, since 1988, Principal of the leadership development firm, Fulcrum Associates Inc. He works with managers who want to increase their effectiveness as a leader and build a stronger team.

Ian invites you to contact him regarding the ideas in this article or to discuss challenges you face around building strong leadership at all levels of your organization, the kind of leadership that generates strong results and gives your enterprise an enduring edge.

He can be reached at 1-888-FULCRUM (385-2786) or Contact Ian. You can visit Fulcrum's website at: http://www.888fulcrum.com and for solutions to some common challenges managers face, go to: Solutions

How To Improve Communication With Your Boss

Good communication allows many life situations to run smoothly. However, there are certain relationships that deserve extra attention, such as the relationship you have with your boss. You and your boss have drastically different roles, and when each of you fulfills these roles with a hard working and understanding attitude, you'll both feel fulfilled.

Get To Know Your Boss

As in all personal and professional relationships, it's important to understand how others communicate.

Everyone has their own set of likes and dislikes, and everyone has their own unique personality types and communication styles. Once you understand their preferences, you can adjust your style and methods of communication to best suit their needs.

Understand Your Relationship

It's important to develop a good business relationship with your boss. Find out what he expects and what his goals for the business are, that way you can both be working toward the same goal.

The following tips can help you further improve your communication with your boss:

1. Avoid being too friendly. It's important to be friendly, but only to a certain extent. You're not true friends with your boss. While it may seem like a good idea at first, it can lead to some uncomfortable situations. Your boss might have trouble giving you negative feedback, or your co-workers may develop jealousy.

2. Schedule meetings with your boss. Your boss may or may not be scheduling regular meetings with you. Regardless of this, take the initiative to schedule time with your boss if you feel the need. Your boss will know that you're serious about developing your business relationship and that you really care about your job and the company.

3. Problem solving. Find out if you can help your manager with any problems that need attention. While you don't want to step on any toes, your boss will surely appreciate you taking the initiative. Doing so will really give you the chance to stand out.

4. Maintain patience. Perhaps you would've done things differently than your boss or you strongly feel that one of his decisions won't turn out right. Develop the wisdom to know if you should keep your mouth shut and go with the flow, or if you should politely speak up.

5. Shift your perspective. You can improve your communication with your boss and feel less frustrated just by putting yourself in their shoes. Imagine what everything is like for them; they likely have more burdens and pressures on their shoulders than you realized.

Be Prepared

Even if you're not quite sure what to say all the time, as long as you prepared and honest in your communication, your boss will surely notice. So if you have to reflect and write down your thoughts ahead of time, so be it. That level of preparation will benefit you in the long run.

With any relationship, good communication skills are a huge benefit. Strive to work on strengthening these skills every day and it will help your career to flourish. In the end, your positive attitude and willingness to understand others will help you forge stronger, more permanent bonds.

Dan Klatt has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. He brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings. Follow him on twitter and Join him for the "30-Day Think And Grow Rich Video Course" now for a wealth of inspiring information!